eddpad Posted March 17, 2015 Posted March 17, 2015 In terms of the first 3 dates, is there a general sense of certain topics or milestones that you personally like to see or talk about in an interested party? For example Date 1: Usually the one where both parties a little more nervous and are lenient on each other. You talk about a lot of the on the surface stuff to see if there is compatibility. Date 2: A little bit of the first and maybe more talks about other things more personal for each of you. I also feel at this point you probably need some type of physical intimacy such as kissing, holding/touching each other. Date 3: I'm thinking this is where you get a general sense of whether you AT LEAST want to see someone for a fourth or fifth date. Do you start getting more personal at this stage? I recently had what I would call two good dates with a girl. First date lasted about 4 hours, with no awkward moments or lag in the meeting. She agreed to a second date a few days later, which led to more discussions and eventually, making out. While she initially agreed to a third date, she recently texted me saying it wasn't going to work due to a lack of chemistry/spark. Not sure what I did wrong. Maybe nothing, but curious to hear from everyone else.
d0nnivain Posted March 17, 2015 Posted March 17, 2015 I never measured them that way. It was either working in that it was easy & flowed or it wasn't in which case, it simply didn't progress. When you over analyze it, there are already problems. 2
Gary S Posted March 17, 2015 Posted March 17, 2015 It's possible you might have said or done something to turn her off (you would have to tell the whole story of the relationship), but more than likely, she is on the rebound or has other issues. Those types tend to be flaky. Just kiss her within the first three dates (you did that) so you don't wind up in the freindszone, and keep asking for at least one date a week, that's all you have to do.
Penguin_hugs Posted March 17, 2015 Posted March 17, 2015 I don't think you can have a set system for this. Sometimes it's right and sometimes it isn't. I did OLD for around a year. A few dates never really progressed, but 2 did. Guy A- was nice enough- we had around 6 dates in 2 months- usually the cinema or walking down by the beach etc. I'd cook him dinner etc. Never went further than a hug when he said hi/bye. I kept dating him because I assumed I should like him as he was a nice guy- but there wasn't a spark. I thought that it might grow but it didn't. So we chatted and kind of realised there wasn't anything there. Guy B- 1st date coffee for 4 hours- no physical contact, 2nd date coffee again for 4 hours and a visit to my house for another tea- one peck on the cheek, 3rd date- day trip to a museum before 2hrs just cuddling- I just knew at that stage- that if you can be that comfortable around someone- then it's likely to work. Date 4= another museum trip and finally some kissing and he asked me to be his girlfriend. Which seemed a little fast in the sense it was our 4th date- but we both just kind of knew that there was no point waiting. That was 18 months ago and we are still happy I like to think that you just *know* when it's right. That's probably what happened in your situation- it wasn't down to you- you didn't do anything wrong- it's just the two of you weren't *right* in her eyes. I went on a fair few dates and I only ever got that feeling once (with my BF) Try not to get hung up on it- shake yourself off and move on Good luck
Redhead14 Posted March 17, 2015 Posted March 17, 2015 In terms of the first 3 dates, is there a general sense of certain topics or milestones that you personally like to see or talk about in an interested party? For example Date 1: Usually the one where both parties a little more nervous and are lenient on each other. You talk about a lot of the on the surface stuff to see if there is compatibility. Date 2: A little bit of the first and maybe more talks about other things more personal for each of you. I also feel at this point you probably need some type of physical intimacy such as kissing, holding/touching each other. Date 3: I'm thinking this is where you get a general sense of whether you AT LEAST want to see someone for a fourth or fifth date. Do you start getting more personal at this stage? I recently had what I would call two good dates with a girl. First date lasted about 4 hours, with no awkward moments or lag in the meeting. She agreed to a second date a few days later, which led to more discussions and eventually, making out. While she initially agreed to a third date, she recently texted me saying it wasn't going to work due to a lack of chemistry/spark. Not sure what I did wrong. Maybe nothing, but curious to hear from everyone else. I wouldn't be so methodical in thinking. Let the conversation flow naturally. If there is something specific you want to know, segue casually into it. Never assume or even think you've done something wrong. Just accept the fact that not everyone you date is going to continue dating you just as you might decide not to date someone. When you decide not to continue dating someone, is it usually because they've done something wrong? I doubt it. It's just that you didn't connect enough to want to.
devilish innocent Posted March 17, 2015 Posted March 17, 2015 There's no rules about how far to take things on each date. Everybody has different preferences when it comes to how fast to take things. You didn't do anything wrong. She wouldn't have made out with you on the second date if it went against her own standards. She probably either got involved with somebody else or just realized that her attraction to you lacked substance.
Fhsjkfjrhsdh3646 Posted March 17, 2015 Posted March 17, 2015 I'd say after 3 dates things should be physical, and you should hopefully at least be making out. If things haven't gotten physical after 3 dates, I would eject. Otherwise there isn't really a clear cut timeline for dates 1-3, things can sometimes happen at different intervals. Sometimes you'll get a kiss on the first date, sometimes not until the second.
todreaminblue Posted March 17, 2015 Posted March 17, 2015 i feel it is more hurtful to continue to date a guy when you feel nothing...more hurtful for the guy.....so she did the right thing by you sometimes planning out dates to what you should and shouldnt say or should or shouldnt do ruins the spontaneity and the light heartedness you should feel once you start to feel not so awkward......can also come across as over eager and uptight.......that is only my opinion though...just let what happens happens...there is no fast rule to the time you get physical either....lots of women dont make out so to speak on or by date three.....deb
GTR King Posted March 17, 2015 Posted March 17, 2015 Id say 1st date Coffee/drink for 1hour-2hours 2nd date Meal/walk 2-3 hours 3rd date Bowling/cinema/meal 3-4 hours (Depends on time of film) after the 3rd date if she is still interested/keep communicating with you then try see her once a week and see how things go etc... You should kiss her by the 3rd/4th date maybe 5th no longer than that that's how i feel it should happen
fitnessfan365 Posted March 17, 2015 Posted March 17, 2015 Whatever happened to just getting together, having fun, and letting things happen naturally without all these formulas? When people try to break things down and over analyze, it always kills the organic feeling of getting to know someone naturally. 1
Fhsjkfjrhsdh3646 Posted March 18, 2015 Posted March 18, 2015 Id say 1st date Coffee/drink for 1hour-2hours 2nd date Meal/walk 2-3 hours 3rd date Bowling/cinema/meal 3-4 hours (Depends on time of film) after the 3rd date if she is still interested/keep communicating with you then try see her once a week and see how things go etc... You should kiss her by the 3rd/4th date maybe 5th no longer than that that's how i feel it should happen No later than the 3rd. Always.
fitnessfan365 Posted March 18, 2015 Posted March 18, 2015 90% of the time I go for a kiss on the first date assuming her body language is showing positive signs and I want to see her again. However, for the other 10% that are harder to read, I do this. First ask her out for a second date. If she says yes, then she is initially interested and attracted. It's not like the first date, where she got together out of curiosity. The second date is when she makes a conscious choice to see you again. So when you see her, walk right up to her and give her a soft closed mouth lingering kiss to greet her. Then act like it's no big deal. This sets a romantic tone for the rest of the date. Finally, if you have a goodnight kiss at the end of date one, make sure you greet her with a kiss on date two. I'll never understand why some guys will kiss a woman on date one, and then hug her to greet her on the second date. Don't regress. 2
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