Fin Posted April 11, 2005 Posted April 11, 2005 OK, here' s the story. I'm in my 30s, and soon to be getting divorced (after being with my wife for ten years), so I may be rusty at the dating games. Anyway, I was out with my friend on Friday, just hangin out, having a few beers. I had noticed an absolutely gorgeous girl sitting with her 2 friends a few tables away. Didnt think much of it, other than ---WOW, just gorgeous. Anyway, my freind and I go to get some pizza and walk back to the bar about an hour later. That same girl (and her friends) were sitting in the car as I walked by in the parking lot, and screamed or something. As I was about to walk back into the bar, her friend pulls up behind me and calls me over, asks if I want to go out with her friend (the one I had noticed --in the passenger seat). She told me Sarah thought I was good looking and wanted to get my number. We pull aside, where the ask me my name, and everything imaginable about me. I got all thier names, Sarah was the one I liked --and supposedly likes me. Her friend, encourages us to exchange numbers(Sarah looking a little embarassed) ---and we do. I had initiated none of this, and they spent about an hour asking me questions, with me just leaning against the car. I said I would call her the next day (Saturday), because I work on the road and will be out of town for the next 2 weeks. I called, left a message to see if she wanted to get together that night(yes, it was realy her number --her cell). No reply. I know its only been less than 2 days, but why not call back? Why would a girl (she's 25) practically hunt me down, hang out in a parking lot blocking traffic for an hour, and not call ---knowing I'm only around on the weekends. I'm not going to call again, I don't chase women (especially when they have MY #). Could this be a game I'm not familiar with, or is she just playing hard to get?
clynn Posted April 11, 2005 Posted April 11, 2005 I've gotten phone calls from guys then stupidly erased the messgae with the phone number or lost where I wrote it down. So if she has no other way of contacting you that COULD be the case. OR, she was out, flirting wildly having fun, had some drinks..... .............welcome to the crazy world of being single! It mostly doesn't make sense. Sure you're up for it?
curiousnycgirl Posted April 11, 2005 Posted April 11, 2005 You said it yourself - she could be embarassed about the whole thing. I would give it another try - call, leave an upbeat message and tell her you hope to hear back from her and get together upon your return.
alphamale Posted April 11, 2005 Posted April 11, 2005 Originally posted by Fin I'm not going to call again, I don't chase women (especially when they have MY #). Good boy FIN, just sit tight and wait for her to call you. Whatever you do, DO NOT CONTACT HER AGAIN UNTIL SHE CALLS YOU>
moimeme Posted April 11, 2005 Posted April 11, 2005 I'm with clynn. Stupid things happen. Answering machines cut out. You hit the wrong button.
Hund1976 Posted April 11, 2005 Posted April 11, 2005 I would guess most likely she was just flirting for fun. Maybe she has a boyfriend who has been ignoring her and she wants to feel important by having a guy being into her. But to be on the safe side I would wait a little while and give her one more call. Maybe she really did lose your number and is wishing you'd call again.
RecordProducer Posted April 11, 2005 Posted April 11, 2005 By playing the I-ain't-gonna-call-you-cuz-it's-your-turn game, you are showing lack of self-confidence. That's from a woman's perspective. If a guy called me once and couldn't reach me, I expect from him to call me at least once or twice again before he thinks "too bad, she probably doesn't like me." When you play a game, play it in a way that nobody figures out you're playing it. She's a gorgeous looking girl and if you don't chase her, she will think that you have a complex because of her beauty and want to show her that she isn't any better than you for you to chase her. Don't forget that she was the one who approached you in the first place and initiated the acquaintance. Calling her once is not enough. You will seem not interested and lazy.
alphamale Posted April 11, 2005 Posted April 11, 2005 Originally posted by RecordProducer By playing the I-ain't-gonna-call-you-cuz-it's-your-turn game, you are showing lack of self-confidence. Wrong! If a guy called me once and couldn't reach me, I expect from him to call me at least once or twice again before he thinks "too bad, she probably doesn't like me." He called her cell phone and left a message. So she will be showing a "missed call" along with the phone number (caller ID) AND a voice mail message. The chances of her not getting one of the two is zero. She's a gorgeous looking girl and if you don't chase her, she will think that you have a complex because of her beauty Wrong again R.R. Beautiful girls/women have tons of men running after them all the time and are approached all the time. THey have TOO MANY men interested in them and can pick and choose whomever they want. These women are much more interested in the cool, calm, confident man who shows a bit of interest and then backs off and does not hound them and call them every day. The beautiful women want the man who shows interest but not too much interest. Beautiful women have so many men chasing them that they actually enjoy chasing a man they like and who plays hard to get. Don't forget that she was the one who approached you in the first place and initiated the acquaintance. You know as well as I do, R.R., that most likely these girls were just playing and flirting for fun and entertainments sake or to kill time.
Author Fin Posted April 11, 2005 Author Posted April 11, 2005 Thanks, I'm pretty sure she has my number. I wrote it down for her, and she should have it on her VM. I'm not really playing a game by not calling back, like Alpha said, I'm sure she gets hit on all the time, so I'm just not going to get sucked in and hound her like everyone else. Do women play the "3 day rule" thing too?
clynn Posted April 11, 2005 Posted April 11, 2005 I don't. If I like him, I phone him back at a time that is convenient for me, when I have the time and am able to focus on the conversation.
Author Fin Posted April 12, 2005 Author Posted April 12, 2005 I may give her a call the Thursday before I head back(9 days from now) into town to see if she wants to get together that weekend. Are good looking women more shy than I think? If she didnt want me to call, and was just playing around, wouldnt she have given me a fake number?
clynn Posted April 12, 2005 Posted April 12, 2005 The fact that you phoned her only makes her feel even better about herself. Like I said, welcome to single life.
tokyo Posted April 12, 2005 Posted April 12, 2005 I would call again. If she's playing games, then it's better to know it before. If she's not interested, then making a second call and not getting an answer back will be enough. If she's interested, but shy, a second call will let her know that you are really interested and it will help her. I think she's shy. Some people are so pretty, that they are used that people run after them and they never really have to become active themselves, thus they are not really good in overcoming natural inhibitions that many normal people have. She might be sitting at home and trying to get herself to call you, but is not really successful. Of course, she might be pretty and self-confident, and not call back because she does not like you. A second call will reveal your interest, but so what, you were interested, she was not and the world still turns. I wouldn't call a third time though, that is definitely too much. I would only listen to Alphamale if I was interested in dating the kind of women he picks up and having the kind of relationship and affairs he experienced. Take advice from people who have what you want or believe in the same things or who you want to date at least. But if you want to have one-night stands and get laid ask him, he seems to be quite proficient in this field.
Author Fin Posted April 13, 2005 Author Posted April 13, 2005 I appreciate the insight. I only called her the next day because after that I'm gone for 2 weeks, which I explained to the girls when they were hitting on me, they were cool with that. I told her to call me, but her freind insisted that I call her (be a man) -- so I said I would --and did. Like I said --I'm not playing games, I'm really busier than I care to be (still have the tie on now!) --and I don't see any reason to call her until I get ready to go back home --about 9 days from now. The way my job is for the time being, I am only home on the weekends, there are other girls I could go out with I suppose, but this one came on so strong (or at least her friend forced her to) that it got me curious. I dont think they were having such a wild night and playing games -- I saw them sitting at a table for an hour or 2 with no other interaction with anyone--- and they certainly werent smashed. I seemed to have gotten hit on a lot that night. One girl I went out with the year before forced her way into the evening. One girl honked as she drove by, and another smiled and waved. Maybe it was the new shirt ( or maybe my fly was down). Who knows ----women are strange creatures. Thankfully guys also have cars and sports.
alphamale Posted April 13, 2005 Posted April 13, 2005 Originally posted by kooky I would only listen to Alphamale if I was interested in dating the kind of women he picks up and having the kind of relationship and affairs he experienced. Take advice from people who have what you want or believe in the same things or who you want to date at least. Unless KOOKY is a lesbian she probably has little real-world advice about dealing with women in the dating world. Take your advice about dating women from a man, not a woman. Who would have more valuable experience about this area in specific? When was the last time KOOKY had a beautiful woman and her friends come on to her in a parking lot?
GirlDown Posted April 13, 2005 Posted April 13, 2005 hi ALPHA maybe kooky was one of those beautiful women in the parking lot and so she knows what she wants to happen... ever think of that? sometimes we women know how women work. and if someone leaves a message, there is no "missed call" sign for me, just the msg indicator... so, the first thing i thought of is that if this girl really wanted your number enough to call, she would have called you over herself. maybe she said "i think he's cute" with no intention of calling you and all of a sudden, her obnoxious friends are saying "get his number then, stop being a baby" to her and then yelling over to you. before she knows it, you're there and she wants to die. no phone call. see what i mean? it could be any reason. females have a tendency to act like this...though it's usually in high school.
Author Fin Posted April 19, 2005 Author Posted April 19, 2005 I think I'll give her a call mid-week, and see if she wants to get together this weekend. I think waiting over 10 days to call again is good. She knows Ive been out of town since we met, I assume by her not calling me back, its another typical game or test to see how much I'll chase. So I'll give a 2nd call. Anybody suggest elsewise?
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