Mallie Posted March 17, 2015 Posted March 17, 2015 I started dating a guy less then 2 months after my break up. I thought I was ready because I am totally over my ex. I only went out with this new guy 3 times and talked to him pretty much every night for 2 weeks. I liked this guy so much, probably too much for so little time and I felt so insecure, which I never am. Needless to say I did end up scaring him off My question is, is this a normal occurrence. Do you fall faster when you rebound? I wish I had waited because I blew it with this great guy:( This is also a word of warning to those of you who are thinking of dating too soon. People said to me "it is too soon" and I didn't listen and now I made a fool of myself and lost someone I had a lot in common with.
Michelle ma Belle Posted March 17, 2015 Posted March 17, 2015 When you date so soon after a break up you are already vulnerable and sometimes that comes off as needy or insecure. Something most men find do NOT find attractive particular early in the dating process. It happens to the best of us. Nothing to beat yourself up over. The timing was off with this guy but that doesn't mean there won't be another great guy waiting for you when you're ready to date again. Good luck.
Lorelai Posted March 17, 2015 Posted March 17, 2015 My question is, is this a normal occurrence. Do you fall faster when you rebound? Sadly, yes. There's a reason why many books published about breaking up with someone recommend a "relationship fast" for at least 2 months, if not longer. It's too easy to transfer the feelings you had for your ex onto the new partner. That can lead to being clingy, or the opposite -- it can make you expect the new person to hurt you too. Now, one consequence of going on a "relationship fast" is that when you make the decision to be by yourself for awhile and work on you, you end up being more attractive to potential new partners. That's because you *aren't* being clingy or focused on other people, or basing your self-worth on other people's opinions. Healthy thinking is often quite hot. So even though it kinda sucks, you may find that guys want to date you the moment you start your "fast", and many find it hard to say no. But if they are really interested in you, they can wait until you're ready to date again. If they can't wait, they probably weren't good to be with anyway.
Recommended Posts