Coup La-La Posted March 17, 2015 Posted March 17, 2015 There was a girl I had a crush on in High School but never said anything to her. I Connected with her on FB a few months ago and have spoken to her at length virtually everyday since,flirting heavily. She lives 2 states over, so for Valentine's day/her birthday I sent her a care package with chocolate, flowers, a card, and a sweatshirt that I knew she had her eye on but couldn't afford. When she got it she posted pictures of herself with the stuff I sent with lots of flirty emojis, messaging me how she baffled that I not taken, how no man had ever done this for her, how cute I am ect, and how I need to "get out there to visit her <3" Was speaking to her last night and she just blurted out "I need sex, but this guy I like is shunning me and won't return my calls" and then goes into detail about other guys she spoken to in the last year or so. Suddenly speaking to me like I'm one of her Girlfriends. Is she being cruel, playing hard to get??? I couldn't imagine a woman being that clueless as to not realize that a man has feelings for her when they send her flowers and chocolate.
Redhead14 Posted March 17, 2015 Posted March 17, 2015 There was a girl I had a crush on in High School but never said anything to her. I Connected with her on FB a few months ago and have spoken to her at length virtually everyday since,flirting heavily. She lives 2 states over, so for Valentine's day/her birthday I sent her a care package with chocolate, flowers, a card, and a sweatshirt that I knew she had her eye on but couldn't afford. When she got it she posted pictures of herself with the stuff I sent with lots of flirty emojis, messaging me how she baffled that I not taken, how no man had ever done this for her, how cute I am ect, and how I need to "get out there to visit her <3" Was speaking to her last night and she just blurted out "I need sex, but this guy I like is shunning me and won't return my calls" and then goes into detail about other guys she spoken to in the last year or so. Suddenly speaking to me like I'm one of her Girlfriends. Is she being cruel, playing hard to get??? I couldn't imagine a woman being that clueless as to not realize that a man has feelings for her when they send her flowers and chocolate. Maybe both. She's very immature, for sure. I'd also wonder if she is "catfishing"? 2
Author Coup La-La Posted March 17, 2015 Author Posted March 17, 2015 What's "catfishing" can't say I've heard that term before
Gary S Posted March 17, 2015 Posted March 17, 2015 Only 1 in 1,000 long distance relationships work out. 1
SawtoothMars Posted March 17, 2015 Posted March 17, 2015 Was speaking to her last night and she just blurted out "I need sex, but this guy I like is shunning me and won't return my calls" and then goes into detail about other guys she spoken to in the last year or so. Suddenly speaking to me like I'm one of her Girlfriends. You are getting friendzoned. You need to step up and BE the guy providing her sex. Assume she likes you and go for it.
Author Coup La-La Posted March 17, 2015 Author Posted March 17, 2015 Even if we don't seriously date it would still be nice to fool around a few times. Some of the best friends I have are women who I used to kinda-sorta be with.
Redhead14 Posted March 17, 2015 Posted March 17, 2015 What's "catfishing" can't say I've heard that term before Sometimes people go online and pretend to be someone they aren't. Sometimes its an older woman pretending to be a younger woman. Sometimes the other way around. Sometimes women will go online and pretend to be looking for a relationship or to date, when in fact they are just lonely and using social media to fill a need for contact and for an ego boost. They will engage a man, sweet talk, get him to talk to her and tell her how amazing she sounds, etc. just to feel good about herself. Sometimes they will get a man so "involved" as to ask for money or gifts and never really intend to actually see them. Sometimes it's a money seeking scam to support an illegal activity. It's important when doing OLD, to be careful. It's very difficult to determine what kind of person you are dealing with online. Never send gifts or money to anyone from an online site. If you been "talking" for a while with a woman and you do have an interest in her, it's best to set up a "meet up" fairly soon. Just a cup of coffee or a short, casual lunch date, just to get a better sense of who you are dealing with. 1
Michelle ma Belle Posted March 17, 2015 Posted March 17, 2015 You've been friendzoned. Yep. I will concur. In all fairness to her, given that you live two states away maybe she doesn't really see a relationship with you being a real possibility. Is that what you want? Have you talked about meeting up and going on a date? If not, what did you really expect? Regardless, why she's blurting out such inappropriate comments to you about sex with other guys is beyond me except that it speaks to her maturity level. Who the hell really knows. You could always ask her... 3
Author Coup La-La Posted March 17, 2015 Author Posted March 17, 2015 You are getting friendzoned. You need to step up and BE the guy providing her sex. Assume she likes you and go for it. I could see your point if she lived around the corner from me, but for me to travel a long way to get put in the Friendzone is a nightmare scenario. She doesn't even have any friends that I would EVER consider dating or having any kind of sexual contact with, so I wouldn't even have that silver lining.
Redhead14 Posted March 17, 2015 Posted March 17, 2015 Sometimes people go online and pretend to be someone they aren't. Sometimes its an older woman pretending to be a younger woman. Sometimes the other way around. Sometimes women will go online and pretend to be looking for a relationship or to date, when in fact they are just lonely and using social media to fill a need for contact and for an ego boost. They will engage a man, sweet talk, get him to talk to her and tell her how amazing she sounds, etc. just to feel good about herself. Sometimes they will get a man so "involved" as to ask for money or gifts and never really intend to actually see them. Sometimes it's a money seeking scam to support an illegal activity. It's important when doing OLD, to be careful. It's very difficult to determine what kind of person you are dealing with online. Never send gifts or money to anyone from an online site. If you been "talking" for a while with a woman and you do have an interest in her, it's best to set up a "meet up" fairly soon. Just a cup of coffee or a short, casual lunch date, just to get a better sense of who you are dealing with. I'm sorry I kinda got lost here and forgot you knew her already Senior moment on my part. But, at least you know what catfishing is 1
Author Coup La-La Posted March 17, 2015 Author Posted March 17, 2015 In all fairness to her, given that you live two states away maybe she doesn't really see a relationship with you being a real possibility. She's constantly talking about moving back to where I live ASAP, so that's not a complete issue. Not to mention that she's setup he Girlfriends with guys who live even further away than me, so the concept isn't totally foreign.
Michelle ma Belle Posted March 17, 2015 Posted March 17, 2015 She's constantly talking about moving back to where I live ASAP, so that's not a complete issue. Not to mention that she's setup he Girlfriends with guys who live even further away than me, so the concept isn't totally foreign. Then I guess it's a simple case of she's just not that into you
Author Coup La-La Posted March 17, 2015 Author Posted March 17, 2015 i just went over some of our FB messages and not 2 days ago she sent me a message out of nowhere " sending you <3 ", if a girl sends me something like that, I tend to assume that she has feelings for me. Now I'm just thinking that I should send her a message saying something to the effect: you're oblivious, Im not listening to another word about that loser you were talking about yesterday, I'M DONE WITH YOU! Because I'm thinking that there is a high probabllity that one of 2 things will happen 1. she will get a BF and I will be depressed about it for a week -OR- 2. we'll see each other in person and she will put me in the friendzone in person, by which case I will be depressed about it for a month. either way I am the one getting hurt.
Author Coup La-La Posted March 17, 2015 Author Posted March 17, 2015 Then I guess it's a simple case of she's just not that into you That's the thing I don't get! Anyone reading our social media correspondence or Texts would think "this girl is REALLY into this guy". She likes/comments on every picture I put up the second I post it, whenever I do something creative she tells everyone in the world about it (in a manner that seems like bragging, like the kind of bragging you do for your significant other) Not to mention: posting a picture of yourself with flowers and chocolate that a man sent you implies that 1. you're into him 2. a warning to other men So that's why I ask if maybe this is some kind of misguided way for her to encourage me to hurry up and go see her, or that she is just a sadistic person I just couldn't imagine a girl doing all these things with a guy she had no interest it.
katiegrl Posted March 17, 2015 Posted March 17, 2015 There was a girl I had a crush on in High School but never said anything to her. I Connected with her on FB a few months ago and have spoken to her at length virtually everyday since,flirting heavily. She lives 2 states over, so for Valentine's day/her birthday I sent her a care package with chocolate, flowers, a card, and a sweatshirt that I knew she had her eye on but couldn't afford. When she got it she posted pictures of herself with the stuff I sent with lots of flirty emojis, messaging me how she baffled that I not taken, how no man had ever done this for her, how cute I am ect, and how I need to "get out there to visit her <3" Was speaking to her last night and she just blurted out "I need sex, but this guy I like is shunning me and won't return my calls" and then goes into detail about other guys she spoken to in the last year or so. Suddenly speaking to me like I'm one of her Girlfriends. Is she being cruel, playing hard to get??? I couldn't imagine a woman being that clueless as to not realize that a man has feelings for her when they send her flowers and chocolate. When she told you that you need to "get out there and visit her," what was your response? Anything other than a yes followed by a plan as to when you will be visiting her may have left her feeling disillusioned about YOU ....hence the subsequent comments about the other guys. Just curious but why have you NOT gone to visit her? And again what was your response to her suggestion that you do so?
haribogumsnickers Posted March 17, 2015 Posted March 17, 2015 Shes inviting you over. Road trip and may the force be always with you. Strap up too. 2
Author Coup La-La Posted March 17, 2015 Author Posted March 17, 2015 When she told you that you need to "get out there and visit her," what was your response? Anything other than a yes followed by a plan as to when you will be visiting her may have left her feeling disillusioned about YOU ....hence the subsequent comments about the other guys. Just curious but why have you NOT gone to visit her? And again what was your response to her suggestion that you do so? The first time she asked me I was taking studying for the series 7 exam so I said "I need to pass this before coming out there, the test in in 4 1/2 weeks so I will come afterwards" She and I were trying to arrange a specific date 3 days ago, I had to get confirmation from my boss that the dates were OK, and last night was when she spoke about the other guy. Not to mention that all the other guys she mentioned were people that she met BEFORE she and I reconnected and she never once mentioned anything to imply that she had her eye on anyone else. But as I said before, I am considering just calling or emailing her to tell her that I'm DONE
Versacehottie Posted March 17, 2015 Posted March 17, 2015 she sounds like a user and attention-wh*re. bye, felicia:bunny:
Fhsjkfjrhsdh3646 Posted March 17, 2015 Posted March 17, 2015 (edited) You've been friendzoned. This. OP you gave her gifts before you even asked her out on a date. You can't buy affection with gifts. It's too late to recover from being this deep in the friendzone, she basically told you she wanted to **** another guy, and if she had any amount of desire of ****ing you, she wouldn't have done that. Its over. You are getting friendzoned. You need to step up and BE the guy providing her sex. Assume she likes you and go for it. She doesn't like him that way, that much is clear. You can't escape the friendzone. She really hasn't done anything wrong. Some girls are flirty with their guy friends, but after the romantic package you sent her, she decided to let you down easy by talking about sex with other guys in front of you. She did that so you figure out that you're a FRIEND. Edited March 17, 2015 by barcode88
Author Coup La-La Posted March 17, 2015 Author Posted March 17, 2015 She really hasn't done anything wrong. Some girls are flirty with their guy friends, but after the romantic package you sent her, she decided to let you down easy by talking about sex with other guys in front of you. She did that so you figure out that you're a FRIEND. For 2 days after she got the package she was sending my love emojis and talking even more forcefully about me coming out to see her. For 2 days she couldn't shut up about how great I am, how handsome I am, how good of a writer I am. Not to mention that she's constantly talking about how broke she is, yet for my birthday she spent a great deal of money on buying gifts for me. keeping in mind 1. I NEVER asked or implied that she should 2. The only women to every buy me a birthday gift were women who I've slept with -OR- my mother and grandmother. So I don't see how you could say that she hasn't done anything wrong. I have a lot of female friends, some of whom do get flirty with me, but NONE of them like this.
katiegrl Posted March 17, 2015 Posted March 17, 2015 The first time she asked me I was taking studying for the series 7 exam so I said "I need to pass this before coming out there, the test in in 4 1/2 weeks so I will come afterwards" She and I were trying to arrange a specific date 3 days ago, I had to get confirmation from my boss that the dates were OK, and last night was when she spoke about the other guy. Not to mention that all the other guys she mentioned were people that she met BEFORE she and I reconnected and she never once mentioned anything to imply that she had her eye on anyone else. But as I said before, I am considering just calling or emailing her to tell her that I'm DONE She may have made the comments about the other guys as a way to motivate you to get your ass out there. As in, if you don't get your ass out here SOON, you're gonna lose me!!! It's a shyt test.. so yeah it's best you move on...
Fhsjkfjrhsdh3646 Posted March 17, 2015 Posted March 17, 2015 (edited) For 2 days after she got the package she was sending my love emojis and talking even more forcefully about me coming out to see her. For 2 days she couldn't shut up about how great I am, how handsome I am, how good of a writer I am. Not to mention that she's constantly talking about how broke she is, yet for my birthday she spent a great deal of money on buying gifts for me. keeping in mind 1. I NEVER asked or implied that she should 2. The only women to every buy me a birthday gift were women who I've slept with -OR- my mother and grandmother. So I don't see how you could say that she hasn't done anything wrong. I have a lot of female friends, some of whom do get flirty with me, but NONE of them like this. Have you gone out on a date with her? Otherwise you shouldn't be buying her gifts and contacting her so much. I'm surprised you didn't even know you were in the friendzone to begin. Who cares what she says to you, actions speak louder than words. Well I can tell you after her comment about needing to be ****ed, you don't stand a chance. P.S. only a platonic friend would buy you a gift for your Birthday. A potential girlfriend wouldn't be buying you stuff if you two hadn't gone out yet. Plus Long distance sucks. EDIT2: Is she the best you can do? Some girl 2 states over you've never gone out with? Sheeeesh -_- Edited March 17, 2015 by barcode88 1
Author Coup La-La Posted March 17, 2015 Author Posted March 17, 2015 Have you gone out on a date with her? Otherwise you shouldn't be buying her gifts and contacting her so much. I'm surprised you didn't even know you were in the friendzone to begin. Who cares what she says to you, actions speak louder than words. Why would I think that a girl that constantly telling me how good I look, how talented I am, how much she wishes she "could could be more like me" is putting me into the Friendzone??? Especially when we've had multiple conversations that imply dating... Her: IDK how you're single Me: I like women that are classy like BMWs but I'm surrounded by Kia dealerships Her: So which one am I a BMW or Kia????? Me: BMW all the way! 7 class baby. Her: That's real good P.S. only a platonic friend would buy you a gift for your Birthday. A potential girlfriend wouldn't be buying you stuff if you two hadn't gone out yet. Plus Long distance sucks. No platonic friend of mine, male or female, has bought me a birthday gift since I had an ice cream party when I turned 8, in fact most people have the attitude "you should be glad that I even wrote on your FB wall". I don't know any girl that buys birthday gifts for a man they're not interested in. Particularly a woman that is living hand to mouth and has to count every penny.
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