Philosopher Posted March 17, 2015 Posted March 17, 2015 A couple of weeks ago I contacted this girl on OkCupid. We exchanged a few messages. She asked me quite a few questions and she seemed to find my jokes funny. Therefore I thought she must be interested and so I asked her for her number, which she promptly gave. Just over a week ago I tried called her, however as I often find when I try calling someone from a dating site there was no response. Therefore I left a text message asking how her weekend had been. She did reply however it took her until the following day to do so. I texted her back asking if she fancied meeting up for a drink in the coming week. She replied back saying she was very busy in March as she had quite a few parties and was off on holiday and therefore could not meet until April. So I replied asking if she could meet up any sooner and I mentioned I could meet for lunch during the day if she worked near me. She texted me back saying she might be able to meet up this coming weekend depending on what her friend was doing for her birthday. Otherwise she might be able to do lunch. I texted back confirming the weekend was OK, however she didn't reply. Yesterday morning I sent her another text asking how her weekend had been, however I not as yet have received a reply back from her. Fellow Loveshackers, do you think she is still up for meeting me this coming weekend or some other time on, or should I assume she isn't interested and move onto someone else?
soyou Posted March 17, 2015 Posted March 17, 2015 I'm a woman and I can confirm tha she is not that interested in. The weekend date with you is just her back up plan. If her friends do not do anything nice for her bday, she will then fill you in her last minute plan. Likely that she will stood you up or bail out the last minutes. Similar to men, if a woman is interested in, she will make an effort to see you or find time to see you. Drop this off and move on. 2
PegNosePete Posted March 17, 2015 Posted March 17, 2015 (edited) I think that if she wanted to meet you then she would have given you a date, time and location by now. The fact that you are still wondering, means she is not interested. I also found that a first phone call often goes to voicemail. Not quite sure why, really. I think a lot of women prefer to hear your voice before entering a live conversation. Therefore next time I would recommend leaving a voicemail, saying you will call back in a couple of hours or the next day, or ask her to give you a call when she's free. Edited March 17, 2015 by PegNosePete
Author Philosopher Posted March 17, 2015 Author Posted March 17, 2015 Thanks all for your replies. I suspected her vague promises of a date and non replies to texts were indications that she was not interested. I just have two further questions: 1) After I got her number, did I do anything wrong that could have driven her away? 2) If she was not interested in meeting up, why did she give out her phone number in the first place?
Gary S Posted March 17, 2015 Posted March 17, 2015 People change their minds and flake all the time. When I get a woman's number form a dating site, I send her an introduction text with my name so she can program it into the phone, so she'll know who is calling. Then I schedule a time to call her. I usually try to do this within a day or two of getting the number. If they won't meet within a week they are not interested or have other problems... and in the beginning, people can flake at any given moment, that's just the way it is.
Hopeful30 Posted March 17, 2015 Posted March 17, 2015 I think she's using you to fill her time. If it works for her and she has time to spare, you can be a filler. Otherwise you're not a priority and she has better things to do. I also think she likes the attention. Probably boosts her ego.
Author Philosopher Posted March 23, 2015 Author Posted March 23, 2015 A quick update, she did eventually reply last week. I again asked her whether she was still up for meeting up on the weekend. She said she was still waiting on her friend to decide what to do. I said that's fine. However she never got back to me and so it seems obvious that she never was really interested in the first place. I have another similar situation with a different girl from OKCupid. We exchanged numbers late last week. On Saturday afternoon I called her. The call went to voicemail. Therefore I left her a text message asking if she wanted to meet up. By Sunday lunchtime I had not heard from her so I called her again and left her a voicemail. As of this morning I still have not had any reply. I can think of two possible explanations for why she hasn't replied. Either she gave me the wrong number by mistake or she is another time waster who is not interested. How should I proceed from here? Should I send her a message on OkCupid to check whether the number I have is the correct one or should I move onto someone else who is hopefully more keen.
PegNosePete Posted March 23, 2015 Posted March 23, 2015 Whilst it seems pretty obvious that she's no longer interested (chances that she gave wrong number are negligible), it costs you nothing to send her another message, so why not. Just don't wait around for her. Move on as if she weren't going to reply. Then if you do get a reply it's a bonus. 1
fred123 Posted March 23, 2015 Posted March 23, 2015 Whilst it seems pretty obvious that she's no longer interested (chances that she gave wrong number are negligible), it costs you nothing to send her another message, so why not. Just don't wait around for her. Move on as if she weren't going to reply. Then if you do get a reply it's a bonus. what if you are emotionally invested already and like a girl.... would you still send another text because then if you send it you are waiting around for a reply and it is also not good for your pride and dignity no? just a hypothetical question in this instance. of course here he barely knows her so sending another text is fine
PegNosePete Posted March 23, 2015 Posted March 23, 2015 I don't see the point hijacking this guy's thread with hypotheticals.
Recommended Posts