asdf24 Posted March 16, 2015 Posted March 16, 2015 She was the first girl I loved. I was going through the police academy when we rekindled was long distance. I got moody and blew up on her sometimes with the stress. We were going to move out together everything was going to be fine. she backed out last minute And ended things. I think she just got scared. Her parents would of cut her off from everything. She felt like I didn't love her because I didn't have time to spend with her during the academy felt like I used her and didn't care. That broke my heart because I'd do anything for this girl. Broke my ****ing heart. A week later I got dropped from the academy and have to start all over.. I was 7 months in. I got no job right now and I think I'm starting to annoy my friends. Just have absolutely no confidence at all. I just feel weird and our of place. I'm not suicidal or self harm I'm just in a crazy funk. Really really bad funk and Idk if I should just try and move on or see a counselor and talk this out.
mightycpa Posted March 16, 2015 Posted March 16, 2015 **** that counseling stuff! Of course you're going to feel bad, your ****ing life is falling apart! You need to designate some time every night for a couple of weeks, maybe even months to feel bad. You should write down your thoughts and feelings, and reflect a little bit on your RS, see if you can learn something. Maybe cry yourself to sleep as the last part of that. But pretty much, you need to face your problems and accept reality. Don't try to change the past - just learn from it and move on. During the day, hit the gym, hit the books, do whatever it is you need to do to pass the Academy. You need some success in your life right now, not no ****ing counseling! Go be that success! 1
Author asdf24 Posted March 16, 2015 Author Posted March 16, 2015 All this time on my hands dude just over analyzing everything about the breakup. She called me back that next day hysterically crying aaking for.me back. I told her she made a decision stick with it. I saw her a month later.. had to drop off some stuff. She seemed pissed off and on the verge of crying. She blew up at me brought up every mistake I made in the relationship saying all her friends hate me and I'm a dick. Then explaining how she just can't take it. She asked me what I want I said you. She said it's too late. She said she can't get over my unless she cuts contact with my completey. Her parents wouldn't let us be together.. it was hard on both of us. I think she just pussied out to be honest she's young. Sounds like she still cares?
mightycpa Posted March 16, 2015 Posted March 16, 2015 Yeah, she loves you, but not enough to stand up to the parents, right? Plus, they're putting unbelievable pressure on her with the cutoff ultimatum. You'd have to wonder why anybody would want to get involved with that. All I can offer is that the reason we talk about first loves in the past tense is because there are second loves and beyond. You'll be ok, and so will she. Whatever you do in the future, don't let her sneak you around behind her parents' back. Do that Academy stuff anyway. It will help.
Author asdf24 Posted March 16, 2015 Author Posted March 16, 2015 Yeah we snuck around for a while before that. What do yoh mEan by what you. You have to wonder why anybody would want to get involved in that. Her not loving me enough. Idk they would of never talked to her again and cut off all her college funds. But then again she was willing to do this before.
gnick Posted March 16, 2015 Posted March 16, 2015 What do her parents have against you to threaten all of that?
Author asdf24 Posted March 16, 2015 Author Posted March 16, 2015 Don't really know specifically. They think I treat her poorly and we got caught sneaking around.
ZiggyZoo Posted March 17, 2015 Posted March 17, 2015 I wouldn't rule out counseling entirely. Especially if you feel like you're stuck in your funk. My therapist was absolutely instrumental in helping me recover from my first bad breakup, when I just couldn't. She helped me to look at things differently than I had been, and to find out what I could do to rebuild my self-esteem. That being said, you do have a lot of situational stressors hitting you at once. So a bit of depression is normal, only you can judge how much is too much to put up with. If you get to a point where you just aren't able to pullout of this and do your daily stuff, I'd say to talk to someone. Good luck, and this too shall pass.
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