Doriss49 Posted March 16, 2015 Posted March 16, 2015 I have just recently been dumped by my boyfriend of 1year &6months .... He phones me and tells me it's not working between us and that he wants to split at first I was upset and crying to him I felt like an idiot to beg but he said to me well why don't we have a few days break to see where we are at and then make desicion ? At first I thought great , then I changed my mind and thought why should I wait around for this dumbass to dump me again? To go through all that hurt again! No way I said u sound like you have made your mind up do you think that will help? And he said no I think I just want to break up so I said ok bye and put the phone down .... Deleted his number and we have not spoken since .... This has been a week without contact now and I am doing ok but I just disappointed that he hasn't messages me or anything , we like 45mins from each other and I still have things at his house , his flat mate works with me and I have had to text him to ask him to bring me my things from the house ... My ex didn't even tell his flat mate that we had finished which is strange and did not mention to him how he was feeling when he asked for my things he just said yes ok .... He is not much of a talker and usually keep things bottled up but come on!!! He must be at least missing me !!! Ino that this is sad I'm still in love with him very much but I'm not willing to be a door mat and call him.... If we never speak again it will be awful but I just wanted to get yous guys opinion ...... Thanks xx
mightycpa Posted March 16, 2015 Posted March 16, 2015 He is not much of a talker and usually keep things bottled up but come on!!! He must be at least missing me !!! My opinion is that no, he doesn't miss you at all. You'd better drop that line of thought. I know it isn't easy and I know it doesn't feel good, but you are denying your reality right now, and projecting your feelings onto him. 1
badpenny Posted March 16, 2015 Posted March 16, 2015 It's going to sound harsh, but I would be willing to bet this is not a sudden thing on his part. 'It's not working' doesn't mean "I woke up this morning and suddenly, I didn't love you any more!" It means - "It actually hasn't been working for a while, but I delayed telling you in case it was either something I was just going through, or I just couldn't bring myself to tell you, which is why I've taken the coward's way out and done it over the phone, instead of having the balls to tell you to your face." He switched off a while ago, and frankly, his relief is greater than his remorse. He doesn't miss you. He may well feel a void, but I guess sadly, it's because you became a habit. I'm sorry, some people do just withdraw and move on, and it looks as if he's done just that. Be warned that he may attempt at some point to just 'touch base'... you know, "hey, how are you?" or "Just saying hi"... because it pacifies the guilt, and makes it look like he cares, when in actual fact he's just doing it out of "maybe I should....what harm can it do?" It's breadcrumbs and it bloody well hurts, so make sure you absolutely, right-across-the-board block him, from A - Z. 2
Author Doriss49 Posted March 16, 2015 Author Posted March 16, 2015 Yeah it sucks !!!! I have deleted his number and so glad that I did because I wudda real been tempted to call him! I'm proud that I haven't spoke to him but yeah it SUCKS ! Just horrible feeling tanks for ur advice tho 1
Author Doriss49 Posted March 17, 2015 Author Posted March 17, 2015 It's going to sound harsh, but I would be willing to bet this is not a sudden thing on his part. 'It's not working' doesn't mean "I woke up this morning and suddenly, I didn't love you any more!" It means - "It actually hasn't been working for a while, but I delayed telling you in case it was either something I was just going through, or I just couldn't bring myself to tell you, which is why I've taken the coward's way out and done it over the phone, instead of having the balls to tell you to your face." He switched off a while ago, and frankly, his relief is greater than his remorse. He doesn't miss you. He may well feel a void, but I guess sadly, it's because you became a habit. I'm sorry, some people do just withdraw and move on, and it looks as if he's done just that. Be warned that he may attempt at some point to just 'touch base'... you know, "hey, how are you?" or "Just saying hi"... because it pacifies the guilt, and makes it look like he cares, when in actual fact he's just doing it out of "maybe I should....what harm can it do?" It's breadcrumbs and it bloody well hurts, so make sure you absolutely, right-across-the-board block him, from A - Z. I'm doing ok but I just really miss him but no way are we getting sorted after this he has just ruined everything!!!! I felt anxious that this would be the last time I'm ever gonna speak to him again but yous guys have just made me so much more confident with ur advice am so glad yous replied I do deserve better than that wanker!!! Hope fully he will realise the mistake he has made and hopefully by then it will be too late !!!!! JUST SUCKS BEING DUNPED! and the person u cud tell anything n everything too is not around and doesn't care about you !!! Yeah and ino childish and petty but REALLY hope he soon gets in touch so I can kick him to the curb and turn him down!!! Hahaha wud feel so gud 1
Author Doriss49 Posted March 20, 2015 Author Posted March 20, 2015 Ok hey guys I got my things back from my ex"s housemate tonight at work and when I got back and looked in the bag none of my DVDs were in there so I txt his roommate and asked him to tell him to give me them back and he replied yes he said he will sort the DVDs out for you and he will ring u tmro !!!! WHAT THE **** !!!!!!! Am I gonna do? What wud I even say it would just be awkward !!!!!? Shud I just ignore him? If he rings at all?????
Author Doriss49 Posted March 20, 2015 Author Posted March 20, 2015 It's going to sound harsh, but I would be willing to bet this is not a sudden thing on his part. 'It's not working' doesn't mean "I woke up this morning and suddenly, I didn't love you any more!" It means - "It actually hasn't been working for a while, but I delayed telling you in case it was either something I was just going through, or I just couldn't bring myself to tell you, which is why I've taken the coward's way out and done it over the phone, instead of having the balls to tell you to your face." He switched off a while ago, and frankly, his relief is greater than his remorse. He doesn't miss you. He may well feel a void, but I guess sadly, it's because you became a habit. I'm sorry, some people do just withdraw and move on, and it looks as if he's done just that. Be warned that he may attempt at some point to just 'touch base'... you know, "hey, how are you?" or "Just saying hi"... because it pacifies the guilt, and makes it look like he cares, when in actual fact he's just doing it out of "maybe I should....what harm can it do?" It's breadcrumbs and it bloody well hurts, so make sure you absolutely, right-across-the-board block him, from A - Z. Okkkkk so I asked my ex"s flat mate Keith to bring my stuff to work tonight and when I got it - bare in mind no contact with my ex at all !! Since he finished me! And I looked in the bag of my things and my DVDs weren't there so I text Keith to tell Paul to give me them and he replied he said he will sort them for you he said he will ring you tmro !!!!! WHAT THE **** ?! What am I gonna do?! What wud I say It wud just be awkward !!! Shud I just ignore him ??? If he rings at all????
Satu Posted March 20, 2015 Posted March 20, 2015 Delete the word, 'dumped' from your vocabulary. It has negative connotations that life is sweeter without.
Author Doriss49 Posted March 20, 2015 Author Posted March 20, 2015 Delete the word, 'dumped' from your vocabulary. It has negative connotations that life is sweeter without. Okkkkk so I asked my ex"s flat mate Keith to bring my stuff to work tonight and when I got it - bare in mind no contact with my ex at all !! Since he finished me! And I looked in the bag of my things and my DVDs weren't there so I text Keith to tell Paul to give me them and he replied he said he will sort them for you he said he will ring you tmro !!!!! WHAT THE **** ?! What am I gonna do?! What wud I say It wud just be awkward !!! Shud I just ignore him ??? If he rings at all????
xinaxxsdertf Posted March 20, 2015 Posted March 20, 2015 that depends on you doris. either ask his flatmate to just please bring them into work or if need be, then speak to your ex. If you feel that youre going to get hurt from your ex if he says something wrong then it pays to not answer his call. if you do answer his call, do not tell him youre struggling, dont give him the satisfaction of knowing that you miss him and life is hard without im. It will just feed his ego and he will move on knowing how much of an effect he has on you. If you show him struggle and hurt then he will probably keep you on the backburner. just say hi, organise how youre going to get your stuff and whats happening and then say alright well i have to go, bye. Dont let him talk about the relationship or how you have been.. just get rid of him asap. if you do feel like getting him back, save that for later.. for now, you guys need time apart and if he misses you, he will contact you eventually. just move on in life, go have fun, do things you wouldnt normally do, go out of your comfort zone.
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