New here -

[jonboy1983herts]

Hi I've just joined as I have been very strange experience and have no one to talk to about it.

 

So I just wanted to get your opinions. So I met this girl from a dating website two weeks ago. We had a really good first date and had a little snog/kiss on the way to dropping her back to the station - she really enjoyed herself. She text me that night to say so too. Following that, she would text me and I would text her everyday just easy going nice texts not too full on. We then met up last week for dinner and was really nice. Once again, had a kiss at the end of the night - followed by dropping her home and her making all the suggestions that she wanted to further things, I.E meet ther sister etc etc.

 

So once again we text every day and meet up on Sunday for lunch and a movie at mine then drop her back by evening due to us both having commitments on a Sunday evening. So we had a lovely lunch and were all in to each other, she came back to mine - cuddled up to me and we had a number of intimated kisses on the sofa and she said she is looking forward to coming back to my place to watch another film and we have a cheeky laugh about it. So time comes to drop her home and send her off with another kiss.

 

Anyway I text her to say really enjoyed myself that evening. Then - I hear nothing until 11am this morning with her saying you're such a nice guy but I see you as a friend, so don't want to lead you on. Now I'm long in the tooth so really don't get emotional about this. But I've been on enough dates and in relationships to know that this doesn't seem right - she was very in to me and I reciprocated but wasn't overly keen to suggest id be lead (and sorry to sound too dirty but she would as much go for the tongues when kissing than me) so that isn't normally how you see a friend.

 

Just wondering how I should play this? I'm not a needy guy so haven't messaged her and considering to just not message her and leave it. I am a guy and have a proper batchelor with massive screens and all the gadgets but nonetheless a great place. I'm wondering whether that put her off, although when the film finished she didn't want to rush or go -

We still had 20 mins so she wanted to stay. Can someone give me some sort of a clue here? I'm bemused haha. I don't want to send her a nasty txt regarding presuming I'd be lead on but her text really makes no sense to me at all.

 

Your thoughts would be much appreciated.

 

Thanks

 

J

[Redhead14]

Hi I've just joined as I have been very strange experience and have no one to talk to about it.

 

So I just wanted to get your opinions. So I met this girl from a dating website two weeks ago. We had a really good first date and had a little snog/kiss on the way to dropping her back to the station - she really enjoyed herself. She text me that night to say so too. Following that, she would text me and I would text her everyday just easy going nice texts not too full on. We then met up last week for dinner and was really nice. Once again, had a kiss at the end of the night - followed by dropping her home and her making all the suggestions that she wanted to further things, I.E meet ther sister etc etc.

 

So once again we text every day and meet up on Sunday for lunch and a movie at mine then drop her back by evening due to us both having commitments on a Sunday evening. So we had a lovely lunch and were all in to each other, she came back to mine - cuddled up to me and we had a number of intimated kisses on the sofa and she said she is looking forward to coming back to my place to watch another film and we have a cheeky laugh about it. So time comes to drop her home and send her off with another kiss.

 

Anyway I text her to say really enjoyed myself that evening. Then - I hear nothing until 11am this morning with her saying you're such a nice guy but I see you as a friend, so don't want to lead you on. Now I'm long in the tooth so really don't get emotional about this. But I've been on enough dates and in relationships to know that this doesn't seem right - she was very in to me and I reciprocated but wasn't overly keen to suggest id be lead (and sorry to sound too dirty but she would as much go for the tongues when kissing than me) so that isn't normally how you see a friend.

 

Just wondering how I should play this? I'm not a needy guy so haven't messaged her and considering to just not message her and leave it. I am a guy and have a proper batchelor with massive screens and all the gadgets but nonetheless a great place. I'm wondering whether that put her off, although when the film finished she didn't want to rush or go -

We still had 20 mins so she wanted to stay. Can someone give me some sort of a clue here? I'm bemused haha. I don't want to send her a nasty txt regarding presuming I'd be lead on but her text really makes no sense to me at all.

 

Your thoughts would be much appreciated.

 

Thanks

 

J

 

Did you two have any kind of a conversation about what each of you is looking for out of your dating experiences? Casual, long-term, etc.?

 

But, in this case, she is telling you she just wants to be friends. For whatever reason, she was coming on kinda strong and now she's backing off. Don't read into it or make assumptions about why. There isn't any point in that. It is what it is. This is typical hot/cold behavior and usually means the person doesn't really know what they want or just lost interest for some reason.

 

If I were in your shoes, I'd leave it be and date others. If she contacts you again, you can broach the subject of what it is you want for yourself while dating and see what she says.

[jonboy1983herts]

Hi. Thanks for your reply. We just both said we want to date and see how it goes. It has been a lot over 2 weeks but to just dismiss it is a bit over the top, I'd have said lets chill for a bit - but she just came out of no where. So do you think I should not bother replying then and leave it?

 

Thanks

J

[Redhead14]

Hi. Thanks for your reply. We just both said we want to date and see how it goes. It has been a lot over 2 weeks but to just dismiss it is a bit over the top, I'd have said lets chill for a bit - but she just came out of no where. So do you think I should not bother replying then and leave it?

 

Thanks

J

 

Yeah, I think I would just leave it. Chasing her or looking for an answer about why she did what she did for closure for yourself, doesn't really change things. It is what it is.

[jonboy1983herts]

I wasn't even going to chase or ask for an answer. Was just wanting to say I don't get lead on and she has assumed that, but then that could cause an argument I suppose.

[Redhead14]

I got bumped off the site before I could finish . . . but, Yeah, I think I would just leave it. Chasing her or looking for an answer about why she did what she did for closure for yourself, doesn't really change things. It is what it is.

 

I don't like that she came on so strong so soon either. At the point you two were at, she shouldn't have been saying she wanted you meet family or go to your house. It was too soon for all of that. She was suggesting to you a little bit too about becoming sexual. It's definitely too soon for a woman to think about that (although it's her right and not anything necessarily wrong with it) but . . .

Bottomline, all I'll say is I'm suspicious about her motives for dating or that she knows what she is doing.

[Redhead14]

I wasn't even going to chase or ask for an answer. Was just wanting to say I don't get lead on and she has assumed that, but then that could cause an argument I suppose.

 

Yes, just leave it alone. Any time someone moves on from you while dating, it's best to just let it be. I know it's tempting but doesn't really serve any real purpose.

[Fhsjkfjrhsdh3646]

Don't overthink it, its over. She might have been testing the waters with you to see if theres a physical connection, and might not feel it.

 

I agree - it sucks when things get physical and you are into someone, and then they all of a sudden make a complete turnaround

 

Just get back out there and date more women.

[smackie9]

There is no need to anylize this, she's blowin ya off. It can be a million reasons why she changed her mind, like her husband/BF caught her, her ex is trying to get back with her, she's found a better prospect, her LD BF is in town, etc. Who cares about that, she is telling you she isn't interested.

 

Ditch her because you don't need anymore friends, you are trying to get laid.

[jonboy1983herts]

Ok thanks. Just wanted to say you got me wrong by thinking id get lead on and no problems. Take care sort of thing. But maybe that's a pride thing. Cheers