d0nnivain Posted March 16, 2015 Posted March 16, 2015 You're right. I thought you liked him. Sorry. But if you say thank you, but no thanks he should go away. If you are vague, he may try again. I understand it's tough to be the bearer of bad news, but a definitive rejection is still the best approach. Your silence is the 2nd best approach but it's still not the best. 1
rester Posted March 16, 2015 Posted March 16, 2015 OP here. Here's how it's gone. About four days ago, HIM: "____, you're awesome. We should hang out some time." (his "you're awesome" probably related to some stuff I do in my community/city -- volunteering, social/political activism stuff) Me, a few hours later: "Yeah, that'd be nice!" Him, the next day or so: "I should be in town next weekend. We can get something to eat and maybe have some drinks." (he's not super long-distance or anything, but maybe a 50 minute drive away but comes into my area often enough that dating me wouldn't be unheard of.) I'm thinking of just not responding. Or as some of you said, saying I'm busy that weekend and just not offering an alternative. I'm all for directness, but I don't think you need to respond to him at all. It's too bad you replied that it'd be nice to go out with him, but what's done is done. You could have ignored the whole first message completely and he would have taken the hint. It's not like a facebook message needs to be replied to if you don't have some sort of standing relationship with someone. Just stop confusing him by saying that it'd be nice to go out with him, and then trying to come up with another excuse. If you do feel the need to respond to him, I would say something like, "Sorry, next weekend isn't going to work." It's a wishy-washy answer, but that's what he gets for asking a wishy-washy question to begin with. 1
Versacehottie Posted March 16, 2015 Posted March 16, 2015 Yeah, I wouldn't necessarily respond if you feel like he has emo-ego issues. I got that vibe when you said his response would be along the lines that he would switch the script and pretend he wasn't really trying to ask you out. And like you said, you are distant friends on FB. If he's a nice guy, who's just likely to be crushed or even handled it like an adult, I would just say, that you are not free this weekend. If he presses it, just say you're not interested. My point basically with what I was saying, is that doing the "right thing" is sometimes less important when you are caving because the other person is likely gonna have some version of a tantrum (ie some dumb statement like that--like his ego can't take it!). F*ck it. There's a reason OP doesn't want to date this guy. If it's those sorts of things, I don't think she's obligated to do the right thing. These type of guys tend to think they can bully their way in or retaliate unfairly. If he's simply uninteresting and nice/decent, well then be decent to him. Simple.
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