frankiesaysx1000 Posted March 16, 2015 Posted March 16, 2015 In short, I'm in my late 20s & last summer I met a woman ("woman A") who I really adored and fell for immediately. We went out for a bit but she went back with an ex. That didn't work out for too long and we soon became friends again and became friends. In the meantime, I was seeing someone else (woman B) for a few months whom I broke up with a couple of weeks ago. I had yet to tell woman A of this. We've grown (woman A and myself) closer in recent months and I felt like I was making progress with her when the other night we were supposed to hang out. Well, she showed up somewhat drunk and completely threw herself at me. She told me all this stuff about how she loved me because I was always there for her and always said and did the right thing. She said she wanted to marry me and what not. I didn't take advantage of her knowing that could hurt me in the long run nor did I express deep feelings; However, she claimed she loved me and knew I loved her too and despite being drunk was capable of remembering a lot of details. We talked a couple of days after that incident and I told her I had broken up with Woman B. She immediately told me what she was seeing other people and thinks we shouldn't talk or see each other for at least another month. I'm madly in love with this woman but this seems like a huge roadblock. I can provide her a very comfortable life. I'm not sure if I should just give up at this point or make my feelings more clear. It just seems like my timing is always too far off. I have many options, some of which far surpass her in looks but I love her faith and her personality and how kind she is. Any advice is greatly appreciated.
Fhsjkfjrhsdh3646 Posted March 16, 2015 Posted March 16, 2015 Sounds like you're settling, you don't really have a good base for a relationship here if she's throwing herself at you drunk. Find someone who is better for you. 1
Michelle ma Belle Posted March 16, 2015 Posted March 16, 2015 We talked a couple of days after that incident and I told her I had broken up with Woman B. She immediately told me what she was seeing other people and thinks we shouldn't talk or see each other for at least another month. . I'm sorry but this speaks volumes my friend. It doesn't matter what she said while she was drunk because she clearly has different ideas when she's sober. I know it sucks to love someone who doesn't return the same sentiments but perhaps it's best to cut your losses once and for all. It may be that your timing is off or it may be that she's just not the right girl for you. You deserve better. Go out and find it. 1
Author frankiesaysx1000 Posted March 16, 2015 Author Posted March 16, 2015 Sounds like you're settling, you don't really have a good base for a relationship here if she's throwing herself at you drunk. Find someone who is better for you. Thanks for the advise, Barcode. The thing is though, I love her. She's admitted multiple times (sober) that we have a special emotional connection. I've tried dating other women but this is the one I love and I'm willing to take on some risks for her. Do you think doing something to show I am more serious about her is a good idea like buying a piece of diamond jewelry while I am away in Europe? I know the whole "can't buy love bid" but I'm thinking she may be afraid of further involvement because she knows the type of women I generally date. Maybe that sounds like a stupid idea though.
Fhsjkfjrhsdh3646 Posted March 16, 2015 Posted March 16, 2015 (edited) If a girl tells you that she isn't ready "right now", it really means they aren't ready "with you". Thanks for the advise, Barcode. The thing is though, I love her. She's admitted multiple times (sober) that we have a special emotional connection. I've tried dating other women but this is the one I love and I'm willing to take on some risks for her. Do you think doing something to show I am more serious about her is a good idea like buying a piece of diamond jewelry while I am away in Europe? I know the whole "can't buy love bid" but I'm thinking she may be afraid of further involvement because she knows the type of women I generally date. Maybe that sounds like a stupid idea though. You don't love her, you're probably just infatuated with her. She doesn't feel the same about you though, so don't waste your time with her, it will just disappoint you. Sometimes the people we want, we can't have - but there are tons of other people out there for you that will be just as good for you. Edited March 16, 2015 by barcode88 1
Michelle ma Belle Posted March 16, 2015 Posted March 16, 2015 If a girl tells you that she isn't ready "right now", it really means they aren't ready "with you". As a woman, I can speak to this. Sometimes you have to read between the lines when women speak. On behalf of women everywhere, I'm sorry about that 1
Author frankiesaysx1000 Posted March 16, 2015 Author Posted March 16, 2015 If a girl tells you that she isn't ready "right now", it really means they aren't ready "with you". Actually, I'm the one who told her we shouldn't see each other anymore. She got me to agree to say "it's not forever". Maybe I am getting too involved here and should just keep distance and wait for her to contact me.
Fhsjkfjrhsdh3646 Posted March 16, 2015 Posted March 16, 2015 Do you think doing something to show I am more serious about her is a good idea like buying a piece of diamond jewelry while I am away in Europe? NO NONO ONNONON ON NO NOOOOOOO! Don't do it. This will only end badly, and cost you a lot of money. No gifts until you're at least dating each other, and then only really cheap gifts. Diamonds/jewelry would be for a special occasion while you're in a committed relationship.
Michelle ma Belle Posted March 16, 2015 Posted March 16, 2015 You sound like her option. Sometimes women have men in their lives that on paper would make perfect partners but somehow just don't make it to the next level. She sounds like she wants to have her cake and eat it too. In your case, keep you close in case there comes a time when she doesn't have any more options. Is that how you want to win her love? 1
Author frankiesaysx1000 Posted March 16, 2015 Author Posted March 16, 2015 (edited) You sound like her option. Sometimes women have men in their lives that on paper would make perfect partners but somehow just don't make it to the next level. She sounds like she wants to have her cake and eat it too. In your case, keep you close in case there comes a time when she doesn't have any more options. Is that how you want to win her love? It's not the ideal way but from what she told me, seeing me with other women put her through a lot of confusion and pain. Besides, I'm concerned with the end result which is getting her to see me as a stable husband type that sticks with her through thick and thin rather than some fling. About the option thing, I wonder if it's possible she thinks she is just an option for me as well (she knows that I have a lot of interest from women) which makes her want to give me a taste of my own medicine so to speak Edited March 16, 2015 by frankiesaysx1000
Confusedcarl Posted March 16, 2015 Posted March 16, 2015 I always thought that a drunk mind speaks a sober tongue. In his case though it sounds like she was trying to butter your biscuit to get what she wanted in that moment. Which was sex.....
Fhsjkfjrhsdh3646 Posted March 16, 2015 Posted March 16, 2015 (edited) It's not the ideal way but from what she told me, seeing me with other women put her through a lot of confusion and pain. Besides, I'm concerned with the end result which is getting her to see me as a stable husband type that sticks with her through thick and thin rather than some fling. About the option thing, I wonder if it's possible she thinks she is just an option for me as well (she knows that I have a lot of interest from women) which makes her want to give me a taste of my own medicine so to speak Based on your posts I take it you don't have a lot of experience with relationships and Women? Not trying to be disrespectful or anything here, but you're setting yourself up to fail. If you think that she's some innocent creature who is going to see you as a husband provider type and everything is going to work out great, you're moving WAY TOO FAST!! You should be out having fun with her, making out, having sex, doing all the things that scream "Fling", before you delve into a relationship, which should go for (in my opinion) AT LEAST A YEAR before you start talking about marriage!!! -_- Ahhhhhhhh Go sign up at Match.com and date some other Women and go out and have fun! Stop being hung up on a Woman who isn't even available, or at BEST you're only an option for her. Do you want to settle for that? Please have more self-respect... I always thought that a drunk mind speaks a sober tongue. In his case though it sounds like she was trying to butter your biscuit to get what she wanted in that moment. Which was sex..... Which isn't a great base for a relationship where the OP is talking about being a husband figure.. haha. Edited March 16, 2015 by barcode88
Gary S Posted March 16, 2015 Posted March 16, 2015 (edited) Guy, she turned you down twice... the first time she went back to the ex, and now she says she's seeing someone else. And she is giving you every sign she's not into you. When she's drunk and impaired does not count. How many times do you have to touch a hot stove and get burned to know it's not a good idea?! Women who like you want to date you right away.... I mean within the week. You have to look at reality and stop projecting. Find a woman who likes you first and more and you'll never have a problem. Why bet on a horse that won't run? Edited March 16, 2015 by Gary S
Author frankiesaysx1000 Posted March 16, 2015 Author Posted March 16, 2015 (edited) B If you think that she's some innocent creature who is going to see you as a husband provider type and everything is going to work out great, you're moving WAY TOO FAST!! You should be out having fun with her, making out, having sex, doing all the things that scream "Fling", before you delve into a relationship, which should go for (in my opinion) AT LEAST A YEAR before you start talking about marriage!!! -_- Ahhhhhhhh We're both from religious families. We can't have a traditional relationship for that long. I think the most appropriate thing to do may be to just send a text that I think it's best if we both delete each others #s because my gut instinct tells me she will contact me soon enough. Edited March 16, 2015 by frankiesaysx1000
Fhsjkfjrhsdh3646 Posted March 16, 2015 Posted March 16, 2015 We're both from religious families. We can't have a traditional relationship for that long. I think the most appropriate thing to do may be to just send a text that I think it's best if we both delete each others #s because my gut instinct tells me she will contact me soon enough. Ok - well you'll need to elaborate on that because I know plenty of people who are devout Christians, and they still spend a year or more dating before Marriage even comes into the picture. Honestly 1 year is moving fast. You seem to have made up your mind already despite everyone telling you otherwise... Just don't be surprised if things go south for you. And ummm what is the point of that Text? Sounds like you're playing games.... /sigh You're going about EVERYTHING wrong. 1
Author frankiesaysx1000 Posted March 16, 2015 Author Posted March 16, 2015 Ok - well you'll need to elaborate on that because I know plenty of people who are devout Christians, and they still spend a year or more dating before Marriage even comes into the picture. Honestly 1 year is moving fast. You seem to have made up your mind already despite everyone telling you otherwise... Just don't be surprised if things go south for you. And ummm what is the point of that Text? Sounds like you're playing games.... /sigh You're going about EVERYTHING wrong. Orthodox Judaism. Lots of restrictions but a year is out of the question. I also know marriage and children is her most immediate goal in life. According to the consensus, I should move on completely. My gut instinct is she will text me back. She frequently was the one initiating contact with me. I do not want those feelings to resurface. I tried telling her we shouldn't see or talk to me. Telling someone to lose your # is probably the most direct way of saying don't ever text or call. Isn't it?
Fhsjkfjrhsdh3646 Posted March 16, 2015 Posted March 16, 2015 Orthodox Judaism. Lots of restrictions but a year is out of the question. I also know marriage and children is her most immediate goal in life. According to the consensus, I should move on completely. My gut instinct is she will text me back. She frequently was the one initiating contact with me. I do not want those feelings to resurface. I tried telling her we shouldn't see or talk to me. Telling someone to lose your # is probably the most direct way of saying don't ever text or call. Isn't it? If she was drunk and wanted you to **** her, I'd say her priorities are elsewhere. Do what you will. 1
Author frankiesaysx1000 Posted March 16, 2015 Author Posted March 16, 2015 If she was drunk and wanted you to **** her, I'd say her priorities are elsewhere. Do what you will. Of all the time I've known her, that was the only time I've ever seen her drunk. It's very unlike her. She was at a family wedding just right before we were supposed to meet up and she showed up drunk. Thanks for the advice. I will take all of it into consideration.
Fhsjkfjrhsdh3646 Posted March 16, 2015 Posted March 16, 2015 Of all the time I've known her, that was the only time I've ever seen her drunk. It's very unlike her. She was at a family wedding just right before we were supposed to meet up and she showed up drunk. Thanks for the advice. I will take all of it into consideration. Keep in mind, most people on this forum seem to be more or less progressive when it comes to dating. If you're looking for uber-religious advice, this would be the wrong forums in my opinion.
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