may_girl Posted March 16, 2015 Posted March 16, 2015 (edited) I began a causal relationship with a long time friend in January 2014. He is 26 and I am 23. Although we weren't particularly close friends at the start, as we spent more time together I feel we grew closer. I won't lie - this relationship was very hot and cold. We were long distance for a while. At the very start, he was into me but then I saw him backing off more and more. When he would come to visit our home town where I lived (this happened every 3 months or so), we would hang out but it felt very shallow and one dimensional. Although he would tell me some things about his life, I.e. he would tell me about a girl he was hung up on just before we got together and how it affected him emotionally. I knew then that it was ultimately one thing for him. But anyway, more to the point. He has recently moved back home and has been back for about 1.5 months. However, I know it won't be for long because he is due to move to join the police in about 4 months. As the weeks have gone by we have spent more and more time together. For example I stayed at his all last weekend and visited him twice in the week. I feel we are drawing closer and closer, his walls are coming down right before my eyes and I sense more of a bond than I have before. We talk every day. I mentioned to him the other day whether he would look back on us and wonder 'what if?' And he said he didn't know, nor did he want to talk about it. However, yesterday we agreed to join our local gym together, to which he said that things are getting very coupley. I told him we didn't have to carry on if he felt weird. His response was 'I am just scared that things might not end well. When I move away, it might be sad'. Although we started out as **** friends, I feel my feelings for him now are stronger than they have ever been. We hug, kiss, cuddle in bed and occasionally hold hands. He has removed his dating profile from online as have I. My friends tell me we are basically a couple but we aren't. I do have my reservations. I know he is still thinking about a girl he knew before me who left him abruptly. I know he is leaving in the next few months. I also have suspicions about why he became interested in me all of a sudden when I had been around for so long. I don't feel comfortable bringing up the subject of it myself. I don't want to confront him if he isn't ready to talk, but I can feel it slowly emerging into our conversation. I am writing here mainly to get it all out. But I also would like to know anybody's thoughts on the situation; what is he feeling? Should I back off? Edited March 16, 2015 by may_girl
Gary S Posted March 16, 2015 Posted March 16, 2015 Well, that's very sad that he will be moving away from you. Most LTR's don't work out. I won't get involved with someone who is not a permanent resident local to me. I wish I had better news. 1
Author may_girl Posted March 16, 2015 Author Posted March 16, 2015 I do agree that it's hard to be involved with somebody who will move away. But things progressed unexpectedly and now I feel like it would be a huge shame to lose him from my life. I am really confused what to do.
Gary S Posted March 16, 2015 Posted March 16, 2015 I know and I wish I had something good to say about this. Whatever the case, if he does move for school/work, you'll get over it in time, and find another guy - perhaps even a better guy.
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