Lost and broken. But mostly, lonely.

[lostgirl329]

This is my first post. I don’t ever write on forums, so if I don’t do this right – you guys know why.

 

At this point I just want to get this out.

 

My relationship ended this past Thursday.

 

I don’t have anyone to talk to or listen to me. So now, I am here.

 

There are moments that I know this was the right decision. Yet, there are so many in between moments where I feel like I made a mistake. Will I ever find someone that can give me honesty and respect? Does that even exist? I thought I found it. I thought I knew everything. When I found out about the cheating, I was devastated. Why did I stay? I really thought he was the guy I was going to marry; the guy I was going to have a family with and now – what do I even know? I feel so stupid.

 

But he apologized and promised. Even at the end, after everything, he was still apologizing. He tried so hard to hold on to me. He tried so hard. He really did. But none of the happy moments ever lasted between us – no matter how hard we tried to make them stay.

 

What if I was wrong about everything? What if I lost everything?

 

Please respond – anyone.

 

I am so lonely. Is there anyone out there?

 

I feel like I am living a nightmare.

[sabd]

What did you lose? A cheater.

You "lost" someone who thinks so little of you that they thought it was ok to screw around with other women.

So have you lost "everything"? No.

 

As for feeling lonely, this is up to you to fix. I know its not easy but reach out and connect with people. Do you have any friends? Tell them what's happened and let them support you while you're going through this pain.

 

Use this breakup to get to know yourself and look after yourself with extreme care. Be your own best friend if there's no-one else, be kind to you. Pamper yourself, eat well, get some exercise, take up some new hobbies and activities.

 

All this and time will help you get out of the nightmare.

 

Good luck x

[mightycpa]

I did a lot of cheating on my girlfriends way back when. It didn't matter if I loved them or not.

 

I'm going to focus on the times that I cheated on this girl I did love.

 

I can tell you that in that moment right before you kiss, or touch, or take your clothes off, you're not thinking about the person you're cheating on at all. You're thinking about what's right in front of you and what it is you want to accomplish.

 

It is only afterwards, once your craving for conquest, or maybe something different has been satisfied, that you think about the person you just betrayed. Typically, the thought is not remorse. It is merely that you just don't want to get caught.

 

Did that mean that I didn't love the girl I cheated on? Not at all; I genuinely did. But what it did mean was that she wasn't enough for me and I was no good for her either.

 

I can tell you this much - whatever he did, it doesn't mean that the next guy will. You can't blame an entire population of people just because of your experience with one of them. I can also tell you that although I'm sure it feels very personal, it wasn't. It was just selfish, plain and simple.

 

Move on. You haven't lost anything you want to keep. You merely have more facts now, and you can see that things weren't what they seemed. It's hard to wrap your mind around that, but once you do, you'll be home free.

[KBarletta]

I know I am echoing the other posters when I say this, but it's worth repeating: You have NOT lost everything. You have lost one thing: A person who wasn't worth keeping. A person who deliberately lied, cheated, hurt and betrayed you. This person was not who you thought they were. Take off the rose-colored glasses and open your eyes to what it was, not what you wanted it to be.

 

That said, it's still going to be painful of course. You will just need time. Rid yourself of reminders of him. For now you should actively avoid all contact with him, or of anyone who makes you think of him. Take care of yourself in the same way you would care for a best friend. Talk to friends, see a therapist, spend time doing things you love, or have always wanted to do.