Any other women have extreme difficulty finding men they're attracted to?

[kux]

You're jumping to conclusions. When did I mention anything about looks in this thread? I mentioned strong character if anything at all. You're making strong assumptions.

 

you mentioned attraction and you're kidding me if looks isn't part of that. a guy who comes up short in looks, smell, how he dresses, smell or overall aura isn't going to get anywhere. you and other female responders agree that most guys don't meet your standards for one reason or another. my experience is girls really hate it when you approch them and don't meet their standards. most guys who do meet your standards to no ones surprise have met someone else's and are already coupled up.

[fitnessfan365]

I'll give you an example.

 

Last week I had a first date. Now even though she loves hardcore fitness, she used to be a larger woman, and still has 20-30lbs she could lose. Looks wise I'd give her maybe a 7. However, she knocked my F'in socks off. Really genuine, actually took an interest in me, sweet, charming, feminine, dorky, and really innocent. My first instinct was to protect her and keep her safe. Also, she was the first woman in forever not to say "I was nervous because you're a trainer". She had confidence and self esteem in who she was. That's why I was drawn to her, and why I kissed her not only once, but went back for seconds before saying good bye.

[kux]

Why is everyone throwing assumptions left right and center? You don't need to have sex with someone to know they have a great sex drive. It's called verbal communication, being friends and people talk. Jesus.

 

it's because these assptions are usually on the money. didn't say always. said usually. you brought up pickiness and others agreed. it's your own words that girls are picky and that's my experience. it's hard to get a girl and easy to lose one.

[kux]

YES! I'm soon to be 30 and have been happily single for nearly 2 years now and although I've dated a little here and there, I just do NOT come across guys that I'm actually attracted to. There was one but it turned out that he wasn't someone I was compatible with at all. I am not looking for love by any means but I can totally relate to how you're feeling. There just isn't much opportunity for single people where I currently live.

 

this is what guys are against. maybe one out of all the guys in 2 years. an average guy approaching doesn't stand much of a chance.

[Gary S]

OKCupid did a study via their online dating site, and discovered that women are not attracted to most of the men... something like 80% of them online.

 

Try taking a class or join a group, or a meetup group. You may find a man who grows on you

 

Women typically fall in love slower than men do.

[Toodaloo]

^ There are some options, but again, usually taken lol

 

I'm attracted to older men, maybe that's also why. Older men have more experience and usually more baggage, or they're altogether in another chapter of their life. But men my age just don't have it all together and don't know what they're doing (I'm 27)

 

Older men also no longer give a damn if they make a fool of themselves... they are far more secure in themselves and lets face it grey hair is so damned sexy!

 

oh fitness fan was it that gross you have to use a puke smiley!!! Should have stuck with one snog...

 

kux dude - you wouldn't snog a woman with bad breath any more than we would a man with bad breath!

 

back to the problem

 

Men are like busses. You want one and can't find a buggar anywhere. The minute you give up and think sod it I am just going to have fun 20 of them roll up and you have to make a choice. So not fair. One at a time chaps please!!!

[kux]

OKCupid did a study via their online dating site, and discovered that women are not attracted to most of the men... something like 80% of them online.

 

Try taking a class or join a group, or a meetup group. You may find a man who grows on you

 

Women typically fall in love slower than men do.

 

i'd say ninety percent on average. it's dangerous out there for an average guy.

[Starship]

OKCupid did a study via their online dating site, and discovered that women are not attracted to most of the men... something like 80% of them online.

 

Try taking a class or join a group, or a meetup group. You may find a man who grows on you

 

Women typically fall in love slower than men do.

 

The remaining 20% is a lot of men. I live in a city Of just over a million. There were about 900 men in my age range. 20% is 180 men.

 

I rec'd about 75 messages the first week...narrowed it down to 5 guys. Met with 3 including my boyfriend.

 

I agree with trying Meet Ups these days (now huge in my city) but meanwhile try 'everything'.

[kux]

Older men also no longer give a damn if they make a fool of themselves... they are far more secure in themselves and lets face it grey hair is so damned sexy!

 

oh fitness fan was it that gross you have to use a puke smiley!!! Should have stuck with one snog...

 

kux dude - you wouldn't snog a woman with bad breath any more than we would a man with bad breath!

 

back to the problem

 

Men are like busses. You want one and can't find a buggar anywhere. The minute you give up and think sod it I am just going to have fun 20 of them roll up and you have to make a choice. So not fair. One at a time chaps please!!!

guys of any age don't like girls embarrassing them for approaching them in public, because she isn't attracted. being secure doesn't mean they like being made fools of. i didn't even mean bed breath. i mean having the wrong natural smell or pheromones or whatever.

[ThaWholigan]

^ There are some options, but again, usually taken lol

 

I'm attracted to older men, maybe that's also why. Older men have more experience and usually more baggage, or they're altogether in another chapter of their life. But men my age just don't have it all together and don't know what they're doing (I'm 27)

 

This is it IMO. You're looking in a slightly different demographic - and one that quite a few women do gravitate to. Most women do date guys around their age group from experience, but there are a significant amount that want to date older, more established guys. As a 26 year old, it is sobering and occasionally infuriating but ultimately understandable from the POV that I have - considering I am also less established and less secure than someone perhaps in his 30s and far more grounded.

 

I think you'll be OK eventually. One alternative is probably that you may have to wait till the guys your age "catch up". We don't all reach enlightenment at the same stage. Some older guys were once guys in their 20s who didn't always know what they were going to do. Sometimes they already find someone at that time who they embark on their journey with.

 

Up to you - chemistry is difficult to find for most of us. Just keep an even keel and your head up.

[Starship]

i'd say ninety percent on average. it's dangerous out there for an average guy.

 

You are misinterpreting the numbers. It doesn't state that all women are attracted to the same men. Not everyone prefers the colour blue to green.

[Imajerk17]

Well, there is a certain amount of projection on message boards such as these. As far as the unhelpful suggestions you are getting, I think a lot of guys on here are reading this thread and are upset. See, many of these guys on here are flummoxed why women never seem to be interested in them. After all, a nice reasonably girl would suffice for them, and it probably bothers them that the likewise it isn't so for the women they come in contact with, and by extension, you.

 

You can only be with one person at a time though. It's quite fine to be picky, even if it is about intangibles. If you aren't actually excited to be dating the person then what is the point.

 

Any hobbies? If you are athletically inclined sports teams are a great way to meet people. So is CrossFit. Lots of athletic guys in great shape who tend to have the rest of their lives together too.

[kux]

The remaining 20% is a lot of men. I live in a city Of just over a million. There were about 900 men in my age range. 20% is 180 men.

 

I rec'd about 75 messages the first week...narrowed it down to 5 guys. Met with 3 including my boyfriend.

 

I agree with trying Meet Ups these days (now huge in my city) but meanwhile try 'everything'.

 

even if it was as high as twenty percent it's not a lot per girl. many of these girls desire similar things in guys. not all but many. seventy five guy, seventy four not good enough.

[Starship]

even if it was as high as twenty percent it's not a lot per girl. many of these girls desire similar things in guys. not all but many. seventy five guy, seventy four not good enough.

 

Hint..we are attracted to literacy.

[Gary S]

The remaining 20% is a lot of men.

 

- not when the majority of the women are vying for them.

[kux]

You are misinterpreting the numbers. It doesn't state that all women are attracted to the same men. Not everyone prefers the colour blue to green.

i never ever said all, but you're kidding if you believe that guys have equal chances. about ten percent of guys have girls approaching left and right. the next tier have some. but average to below average guys either have none or got very fortunate that a girl just happened to have a thing for his type.

[kux]

Hint..we are attracted to literacy.

 

hint, hint, girls have had a thing for me, and it wasn't for literacy. it was partly for the superficial.

[d0nnivain]

I think we're getting off topic here.

 

 

The OP asked about how she can go about finding more men that she is attracted to.

 

 

Telling her that she needs to alter her preferences isn't really helpful.

 

 

If she came on here & said that she likes Mint Chocolate Chip Ice Cream & wanted to know where she could get some telling her that she ought to give vanilla a try because it's easier to find, doesn't get her what SHE Wants, especially since she said she has previously tried vanilla but didn't care for it.

[kux]

- not when the majority of the women are vying for them.

 

to be fair some girls are willing to settle, marry the guy, have a family. but watch out guys, if she settles for you don't be surprised if she falls out of love.

[kux]

I think we're getting off topic here.

 

 

The OP asked about how she can go about finding more men that she is attracted to.

 

 

Telling her that she needs to alter her preferences isn't really helpful.

 

 

If she came on here & said that she likes Mint Chocolate Chip Ice Cream & wanted to know where she could get some telling her that she ought to give vanilla a try because it's easier to find, doesn't get her what SHE Wants, especially since she said she has previously tried vanilla but didn't care for it.

if three hundred thousand girls have to have mint chocolate chip ice cream, but there's just thirty thousand mint chocolate chip ice cream bars available, we have a problem don't we?

 

 

she has options. convince the store owner that she's most deserving of her favorite ice cream, but the other girls are doing it too. she can go for the next closest non mint chocolate chip ice cream. she doesn't have to go for plain vanilla. or she can turn around and sulk that if she can't have her mint chocolate chip ice cream, she won't have any ice cream.

[Woggle]

On a subconcious level you might be attracted to unavailable men. That might explain why you are drawn to married men which you said yourself in another thread. In no way should you go for a man who doesn't do it for you but look into why all the guys you are into just happen to be taken.

[William]

Folks, threads like this tend to attract our hydras who enjoy disrupting the forums and unfortunately we have no magic software which catches them so, rather than butchering the discussion, I'll simply insert a reminder that, if it seems disruptive, it probably is so just ignore it.

 

Thanks and please continue and continue to address the topic, which appears to be directed mostly at women experiencing extreme difficulty finding men they're attracted to.

[Starship]

I think we're getting off topic here.

 

 

The OP asked about how she can go about finding more men that she is attracted to.

 

 

Telling her that she needs to alter her preferences isn't really helpful.

 

 

If she came on here & said that she likes Mint Chocolate Chip Ice Cream & wanted to know where she could get some telling her that she ought to give vanilla a try because it's easier to find, doesn't get her what SHE Wants, especially since she said she has previously tried vanilla but didn't care for it.

 

Agreed. Finding a mate in our culture is not about settling.

 

All returns to finding 'the one'. No magic. One needs to be out there...OLD, Meet Ups, dances, etc. And make oneself as attractive as possible to seize the moment when it comes up.

[Fhsjkfjrhsdh3646]

Agreed. Finding a mate in our culture is not about settling.

 

All returns to finding 'the one'. No magic. One needs to be out there...OLD, Meet Ups, dances, etc. And make oneself as attractive as possible to seize the moment when it comes up.

 

Well if you're constantly holding out for that physically attractive 10/10, it's kind of shallow especially if you're not a 10/10 yourself.

 

In my experience, I prefer dating people who are attractive but aren't the "smoking hot" type. Average people seem to be more rational and play less games.

 

Going after the smoking hot 10/10's is like nailing Jello to the wall.

 

I'm average looking I'd say, yet I find a large range of Women attractive, both physically and intellectually. I wouldn't say I'm "Settling" if I decide on dating someone who is a 6 or 7/10 instead of a 9/10. I find personality to be a lot more attractive

 

I'm not saying that attractive people are less interesting by any means. But the most attractive people typically are showered with attention and can more often than not be a bit too into themselves.

[d0nnivain]

What the OP said is she likes older European men. All she's really saying if you read between the lines is that she meets lots of All American clean cut men, plus some Black men, Asian men, and Indian Men who don't do it for her.

 

 

I don't see where she's saying she needs or expects a perfect 10.

 

 

It's also not a look all woman want. I know the type she's describing & they turn me OFF. So it's not the situation where every other woman in the room is trying for the same guy she is. All she's trying to find is what room(s) the guys she wants are in.