VikingPrincess Posted March 16, 2015 Posted March 16, 2015 So it's been a little over a month since my fiance moved out and I've been no contact. I have emailed him though to mail me back some things I need. He called me today and I did pick up-DUMB. He said he was holding on to my things purposely to see me again. I told him I had to go since I had to work and he asked me to call him after work. I told him I would and started crying. He asked me why I was crying and he started crying too. After I hung up I realized how pointless and dumb it would be to meet up with him and I texted him that I didn't see a point in seeing each other and to just please mail my stuff asap. He texted back that I was mean and that is the only reason he was ever mean to me. He also assured me that he has never called any of his other exes the names he has called me-when I've made him- and that I wasted 5 years of his life and to grow up. So basically he reminded me why he sucks and I feel terrible now. He was and is super manipulative and always knew all the right things to say to draw me back into feeling sorry for him and staying in a relationship that made neither of us happy. I feel bad about our fights. Blaming me for him calling me names makes me feel even lower..like I deserved it somehow.. Welp back to NC!
AaronSG Posted March 16, 2015 Posted March 16, 2015 He said he was holding on to my things purposely to see me again. Through your whole post, this had stood out to me the most! You mean to tell me that this guy is going to hold your personal belongings hostage in order to see you again, wow, what a manipulative person! If my ex-fiancé 7 months back would have told me that she was holding some of my stuff on purpose and the only way I could get it all back was to have a face to face.........no way.........forget it..........the stuff's not that important to jump through those type of hoops! I hope he eventually does as you requested and mails you your belongings! If any part of the breakup is getting you down, just remember back to this example, think how good it is to be away from this sort of person, the thought should at least give you a little relief! Hope it all works out, and good luck to you! 1
elliecoffee Posted March 16, 2015 Posted March 16, 2015 Emotional abuse takes a while to heal, believe me. But the fact he called you names and said mean thing doesn't say a thing about you but him and him only. I'm guessing he's a grown man, or so he makes believe that, so don't feel terrible when he tells you he knows he sucks. Truth of the matter is you tried to be there for him and he ended up feeling like he wasted his life with you. Oh well, he wants to suck , what can you do about it? Nooooothing. Also, the 'these are your things those are my things and I want them back and come take yours because we hate each other now' situation is incredibly childish . If he's playing that card, don't fall for the crying-imsososorry-thing. The thing with manipulative people is they don't respect ANYONE. But you already know this the moment you told him you didn't want to meet him and he replied with 'you're so mean because you're talking to me and you're not willing to do what I say. Boo-hoo I'm the victim here' I don't know, manipulative people are drama queens, they need to have something to keep them entertained while validating themselves. Don't go back there, you deserve to be happy.
Author VikingPrincess Posted March 17, 2015 Author Posted March 17, 2015 OMG you guys are so right! I mean I do really need my garage clicker back but it's not ever worth seeing him again over. I hope he mails it like he said he would.
mightycpa Posted March 17, 2015 Posted March 17, 2015 Just call the cops, and explain that your old BF won't return your garage door opener, and you're concerned that he may come over and use it one day. Ask them if they would please meet you over there to get it. When they do, just ask if they'll go up to the door, and you will sit in the squad car while they get it for you. This is a security/safety issue as much as it is anything else. That should pretty much wrap things up. 2
ZiggyZoo Posted March 17, 2015 Posted March 17, 2015 I guess the good thing is that it'll be less tempting to break NC in the future, right? I feel for you. I was with a guy for seven years, and he had verbally and emotionally abused me almost that whole time. The whole "You made me call you those names" is classic. I hope you understand first and foremost that he's entirely to blame for that, not you. I can't say that enough, it took me a while to finally start believing it myself. But I'm with everyone else, if he won't mail your stuff, forget it. I left so much behind when I left (I was allowed three hours to pack and move) and I don't miss a thing. 1
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