Redhead91 Posted March 15, 2015 Posted March 15, 2015 (edited) So I was dating this guy for four months and we were having a great time. Nothing was wrong. We talked almost everyday, we met each other on regularly through out the week. He was kind to me and he helped me if I needed help. He kept telling me that he likes me and that I’m important to him. He told me to be honest with him and I asked him the same, and I told him if there is something that annoys you or whatever please tell me. He kissed and hugged me in public and he held my hand all the time when we were out. Before I was flying home for my semester break (I’m doing my degree in his country), I went to the hospital because I had I wanted to check if my sprained foot wasn't fractured and I didn't tell him that I went to the hospital and that’s when the problems started. Before anyone says anything about that, I want to say that the reason I didn't tell him anything was because he was studying and he was having an exam the next day and I didn't count it as an emergency because it was just my foot. He got mad at me for not telling him when I was at the hospital and didn't speak to me for two days. I called him and talked to him and he said that he was mad but not anymore. I asked if everything is fine between us and he said yes everything fine between us. A week later I flew back home and that's when everything went down hill. Even though we talked regularly, however after I told him that I was planning to apply for another degree back home I started to feel that there was something wrong and I asked him and he said there was nothing wrong and I asked him if he wants to keep seeing me when I get back, he said yes of course and couple of days later he sent me a message for Valentine’s day. We kept talking and until Thursday when I asked him where we stand. I sent it over whatsapp because he was busy and I needed piece of mind, and suddenly he says he told me that when I was home that he wanted to see me as a friend when I get back and then he started to blame me for everything. I had to read the message twice before I actually understood what the message said. I even went back to the conversation that we had when I was back home and he never said anything about seeing me as a friend when I asked if he wanted to keep seeing me when I get back to Israel and he replied yes of course. I sent him a screen shot of the conversation and asked him where does it says that he wants to see me as a friend when I get back, and then he said it’s not his fault. I showed my friends the message and they are as confused as me. The thing that hurts the most is that he claims that I didn't do anything for him. When I read that, I felt like someone had thrown a brick at my chest. I'm just confused because couple of days after the conversation he had supposedly to have said that he wants to see me as a friend, it was Valentine's Day and he sent me a message, and last Friday I asked him everything is fine between us and he said yes, everything is more than fine. I'm just clueless right now. I haven't talked to him since Thursday. I have a feeling that he is mad at me because after he started to blame me for everything, I accused him of using me and that's when he got a bit aggressive in his use of words. And yes, I know I shouldn't had accused him of using me without proof. I don't understand why he doesn't want to tell me what happened and just say "I don't feel like talking". It's not like I'm going to beg and cry to get back with him, seriously, I have a dignity that I want to keep. He told me that he wants to still be friends with me and keep seeing but as a friend. A part of me wants to send him a message but another part of me wants to ignore him. Sorry for the long "essay" and I hope that things was clear. Edited March 15, 2015 by Redhead91
Satu Posted March 15, 2015 Posted March 15, 2015 I found it quite hard to understand your post and get the sequence of events straight. Thats probably me rather than you, though. The bottom line is that he's just not very much into you. Certainly not emotionally bonded and comitted. Maybe he was, but he isn't now. To be honest, he sounds pretty useless... Go No Contact and find someone better.
Author Redhead91 Posted March 15, 2015 Author Posted March 15, 2015 (edited) Well, yeah, I guess that when he told me that I was important to him and that he cared about me (he have told me that several times and recently he told me that he cares about me last Friday) was just a big fat lie. Edited March 16, 2015 by Redhead91
Satu Posted March 16, 2015 Posted March 16, 2015 Well, yeah, I guess that when he told me that I was important to him and that he cared about me was just a big fat lie. I get the feeling from what you've written that he is a very shallow person. He knows the sweet words to say, but he doesn't back them up with anything real. Chalk it up to experience, and be open to meeting someone MUCH better. Is Israel your home country or his?
Author Redhead91 Posted March 16, 2015 Author Posted March 16, 2015 He even told me that he adores me and I seemed upset, he called me to make sure to cheer me up and he was even worried for my dad when he was sick. I guess that everything was a lie and that I wasn't good enough for him. 1
Satu Posted March 16, 2015 Posted March 16, 2015 He even told me that he adores me and I seemed upset, he called me to make sure to cheer me up and he was even worried for my dad when he was sick. I guess that everything was a lie and that I wasn't good enough for him. It's not about you not being good enough. People do what they do because of who they are. I don't think that he consciously lied to you, though he might have. I'll stick with my 'shallow person' diagnosis. Go here and read everything. 1
Author Redhead91 Posted March 16, 2015 Author Posted March 16, 2015 (edited) Thank you for the link. I'll make sure to read. I've been through this before and I made through it, so I'll get through it. At least this taught me that I'm able to open up to people because I usually never do that. My friend told me that he'll realize that he has done a mistake by letting me go since a girl like me is hard to find. And I will not be around when he realize that. Edited March 16, 2015 by Redhead91
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