rollercoaster11 Posted March 15, 2015 Posted March 15, 2015 Omg can somebody stop me. I get this way mostly on weekends but I passed his street on my way to church and thats what triggered it. I was visiting this church with a relative of mine and wasn't thinking until I realized where I was. When does this stop. Im havi this tug of war with myself. If I had known that letting go would have me so distraught I think that I would have left well enough alone..at least I had him in my life.
na49 Posted March 15, 2015 Posted March 15, 2015 Let's just say you did contact him. What would you say to him?
dyna85 Posted March 15, 2015 Posted March 15, 2015 I wish I knew when it would stop and I know how torturous it feels. However, think about what your purpose would be and the most likely outcome? Think about the last time you broke NC? What was the outcome? How did it make you feel? If it hurt before, will it not hurt some more, if you go back to that same place? You may be hurting badly...really badly, in this moment. However, my advice is to roll with the tide. Feel the emotion, no matter how painful, and just let it be. I've been having a rough time as of late too, so I know the feeling. The weekends are definitely treacherous. I think I've had about a thousand urges just these past 3 days. However, truly think about the most probable outcome and how it will make you feel. If the most probable scenario is that you will be doing more harm than good for yourself, then keep on with the NC. Is it really worth it to make contact and in essence be telling your ex, 'hey, I still love you and miss you and want you so badddd' only to be brushed aside like you don't mean jack? Sometimes love isn't even worth lowering yourself, if it means you must keep re-experiencing the same pain tenfold each time. Love yourself, and do what's best for you. NC is probably your friend right now...
Author rollercoaster11 Posted March 15, 2015 Author Posted March 15, 2015 Let's just say you did contact him. What would you say to him? Lol...using my words against me...referring to a previous thread of mine. I want to catch up with his life and let him know how mine has been. I would tell him that I miss him and that there is a void in my heart without him. Maybe more random stuff. I just miss hearing his voice...crazy I know. Reverse psychology right? Thank u. 1
Author rollercoaster11 Posted March 15, 2015 Author Posted March 15, 2015 The last time I contacted him I wanted to tell him about something that I had heard at work and he didn't reply. You see Im thinking that he is hurt because I ended things but I didn't want to, its just I thought that I was doing what was best for the both of us but it still hurts so much. Im sorry that you are having a hard time too. Thanks so much for replying. Sometimes this tends to feel redundant and it feels that nobody wants to hear the same thing over and over. I wished that I had updates to post but I dont well except my son is doing 90% better..I posted that too on another thread.
Ruby65 Posted March 15, 2015 Posted March 15, 2015 If the last time you contacted him, he didn't reply.... then I'd think that in and of itself would be enough to stop you from trying to contact him again.
Author rollercoaster11 Posted March 15, 2015 Author Posted March 15, 2015 If the last time you contacted him, he didn't reply.... then I'd think that in and of itself would be enough to stop you from trying to contact him again. Thanks. Some how you put it in your head that the next time will be different but its never different. What is the same....being setback and the disappointment and hating yourself.
ApexTitanium Posted March 15, 2015 Posted March 15, 2015 I just text my ex asking if I can take her out to dinner, doubt I'll get a response and if I do I honestly don't think it can put me any lower. I really don't care anymore. At least you are stronger than me.
BlackbirdSong Posted March 15, 2015 Posted March 15, 2015 I just text my ex asking if I can take her out to dinner, doubt I'll get a response and if I do I honestly don't think it can put me any lower. I really don't care anymore. At least you are stronger than me. I'm so close to doing the exact same thing. I feel the same way. Life sucks right now, can't get worse. Can it?
Jonp219 Posted March 15, 2015 Posted March 15, 2015 I'm so close to doing the exact same thing. I feel the same way. Life sucks right now, can't get worse. Can it? Why? Neither side is ready to talk to each other yet. Just let it be, you're just going to hurt yourself more.
Author rollercoaster11 Posted March 15, 2015 Author Posted March 15, 2015 I'm so close to doing the exact same thing. I feel the same way. Life sucks right now, can't get worse. Can it? Life sucks...I bet u have a lot of blessings.in your life. Just think u are giving your ex too much power...yes I agree it hurts like crazy but your life is more important. Our hearts are breaking but I have to disagree with u..yes things can be worse. I found that out when my son was sick and I felt so helpless. There are more important things than this...its just right now we cant see it behind the tears but one day we all will. Please hang in there. You are stronger than you think.
JDPT Posted March 16, 2015 Posted March 16, 2015 Just know that absolutely nothing good will come out of there. We have all been there be strong.
bigtrouble Posted March 16, 2015 Posted March 16, 2015 Yeah, I went through the lonely road of recovery... I did stop my self contacting her when I was at my worst state... But when I was stable I started contacting her... Just to bury the hatchet and get peace of mind... She would just leave her phone open... Never talk to me, and she would just turn it off... I don't really care, coz finally I can say to myself I feel no pain... So what if it validates her conviction to stay with her current S.O. I surely don't want her back anyways... What do I get from it, Validation as well... that I don't want her back, and it don't hurt anymore... Be strong brothers and sisters... I know NC helps but sometimes we need to break it... To test how strong our resolve are... And how far we have gone out of that hellish break up... I can keep calling her and she would just leave it open... and leave the phone on the table to spite me... but then again I don't really care finally the tables turn I am indifferent... well its fun but no worries I don't make a habit out of it anyway... I do it once a week... I wonder how it affects her? :laugh:
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