Omei Posted March 15, 2015 Posted March 15, 2015 (edited) So ive been on Okc again for the last two months since my past experiences with online dating seems to only bring forth majorly depressed guys ive been really careful I haven't been giving out my numbers or agreeing to dates right away, when a guy I think I might like msgs me I actually don't respond till one or two days later and often go over his profile more than once before I decide yes im interested. I met one guy at subway last month he seemed to want to have it fizzle so I let and haven't been out on a date since. For the last two and a half weeks tho ive been talking to a man who's 35 and im 28 normally I wouldnt go for an older man at all but he seems really sweet the way talks I don't know he just seems so mature, he finally asked me out on friday I can tell hes being just like me, careful and being sure before he makes a move without rushing and I like that. He's been calling me sweetie must say thats got me a little fluttery. From what I know about him is he owns his own business and his own place outside of my city its about a hours drive to me he's said things like an hours drive is nothing and wants to take me to dinner, ive suggested coffee and he said whatever I want so long as we get to meet and don't worry about the bill if thats why im suggesting coffee, I know his last relationship was 10 years long (wow) and the way he speaks of relationships is agreeable to me so far we seem to be on the same page. Since he lives in the country hes got many animals and thats always a good sign to me, love people who take in animals. He's awefully gentlemen like. So we had a date for today but yesterday afternoon he told me he was feeling sick and was unsure about tomorrow I said no problem that I was disappointed but not upset and hope he feels better and left it at that last night. Of course a small part of me thought maybe he was backing out but as soon as it hit noon today I receive a phone call, and it was him we never talked on the phone just text he called to personally apologize about not making it today and wanted to say hi and let me know hes very interested in rescheduling for next weekend, because of his efforts to reassure me I really believe he fell sick. I gotta say having a dude pick up the phone and go to that extent has got me wondering maybe this is a really great guy his manners are amazing. So we will go out next weekend Im nervous and excited. One thing on worried about tho is im 28 a single struggling mom I love my job but I don't have a career like him or am a home owner and he seems so together career, home in the country, older I wonder why any interest in me? I feel below him. Oh yes he also asked if he could call me again later tonight when he wakes up again and I said sure. I guess im writing just to tell all what's going on with me but I am in wonderment why this guys not going for someone more on his level in life. Edited March 15, 2015 by Omei
SycamoreCircle Posted March 15, 2015 Posted March 15, 2015 I think him choosing to have dinner with you on a first OKC date is a poor decision. I did this when I was first starting OLD years ago, and what most people don't realize is that despite whatever attraction you feel for a person through their online profile, you will experience an entirely different evaluation of your attraction for them the first few moments of meeting them physically. And that can go either way. So, when you're chained to have a full dinner with someone you're not "feeling it" with, it can be very uncomfortable. And it makes the reality that the two of you will never see each other again that much more awkward. So, my advice is that you strongly push for a coffee date. Or drink date. If he asks why, give him the reason I've given you. If the two of you meet, have coffee, and sparks are flying, well...you can have a 5-course-dinner! As far as you being worried about not being on the same level with him, put it out of your mind. Most men worth anything are thinking somewhere along these lines: -Am I attracted physically to her? -Is she sane? -Can she take care of herself? -Is she interesting to me? -Can she value me? 4
Starship Posted March 15, 2015 Posted March 15, 2015 Be positive But be smart. My thought is he had a chance for another meet yesterday...it either fell through or it didn't go well...now back to you. But...that's being negative and the type of thinking that dooms some from ever meeting their mate. It's a plus that you are 'aware' of circumstance. You have your eyes wide open. You have the smarts to meet and find the balance. 2
Author Omei Posted March 15, 2015 Author Posted March 15, 2015 I think him choosing to have dinner with you on a first OKC date is a poor decision. I did this when I was first starting OLD years ago, and what most people don't realize is that despite whatever attraction you feel for a person through their online profile, you will experience an entirely different evaluation of your attraction for them the first few moments of meeting them physically. And that can go either way. So, when you're chained to have a full dinner with someone you're not "feeling it" with, it can be very uncomfortable. And it makes the reality that the two of you will never see each other again that much more awkward. So, my advice is that you strongly push for a coffee date. Or drink date. If he asks why, give him the reason I've given you. If the two of you meet, have coffee, and sparks are flying, well...you can have a 5-course-dinner! As far as you being worried about not being on the same level with him, put it out of your mind. Most men worth anything are thinking somewhere along these lines: -Am I attracted physically to her? -Is she sane? -Can she take care of herself? -Is she interesting to me? -Can she value me? Dinner was just a suggestion thats not written in stone, I suggested coffee and then we go from there what we wanna do I suspect it wont be a short date because hes going to spend a hour driving just to get here. Ive had both coffee dates and dinner dates lunch dates whatever the meal time its srsly made no difference to me the only thing that bothers me is a dinner date can get expensive which I shared that maybe we shouldn't do something that costs money he doesnt seem to care about finances and said I could make the calls.
Author Omei Posted March 15, 2015 Author Posted March 15, 2015 (edited) Be positive But be smart. My thought is he had a chance for another meet yesterday...it either fell through or it didn't go well...now back to you. But...that's being negative and the type of thinking that dooms some from ever meeting their mate. It's a plus that you are 'aware' of circumstance. You have your eyes wide open. You have the smarts to meet and find the balance. Now I don't know him that well not at all really but from all the trust and loyalty talk and his vision on how a relationship works I so far dont see him as a liar. I find the fact he made his past relationship last for 10 years pretty impressive with a mutual breakup. Each weekend he plays two hockey games on Saturdays which he had to miss, his biggest hobby. We were actually going to meet on sat but I was the one who suggested sunday so he didn't have to rush drive here after two hockey games And the way he sounded on the phone too. Plus he would have to drive hour or more to any other date as well living far out alone in the country side What you said is possible men can lie but his story adds up so id be surprised. Edited March 15, 2015 by Omei
smackie9 Posted March 15, 2015 Posted March 15, 2015 awww don't pick this poor guy apart. Paranoia can totally ruin a good thing. He sounds like a nice guy. A guy that is willing to put in that much effort, with great manners and conduct like "PICKING UP THE PHONE" is hard to find. Texing is lazy, a phone call is making it personal. Relax and enjoy this rare find of a man. 1
Author Omei Posted March 15, 2015 Author Posted March 15, 2015 awww don't pick this poor guy apart. Paranoia can totally ruin a good thing. He sounds like a nice guy. A guy that is willing to put in that much effort, with great manners and conduct like "PICKING UP THE PHONE" is hard to find. Texing is lazy, a phone call is making it personal. Relax and enjoy this rare find of a man. I agree I feel that he may def be a rare find, so far I like how nice he is to me and his effort to pick up the phone is great we wont know for sure until next weekend but im going to def go in with a open mind. I'll update tonight if he calls again, and share. We usually talk though text during the day but on the last call I told him I was just going to let him rest and ill wait for his call, I too have spent all afternoon in bed when I woke up I had a bad head ache my nose is stuffed and my throat is recked had he not beat me to it there was a chance I possibly would of cancled tonight too because I dont feel so hot.
fitnessfan365 Posted March 15, 2015 Posted March 15, 2015 awww don't pick this poor guy apart. Paranoia can totally ruin a good thing. He sounds like a nice guy. A guy that is willing to put in that much effort, with great manners and conduct like "PICKING UP THE PHONE" is hard to find. Texing is lazy, a phone call is making it personal. Relax and enjoy this rare find of a man. I agree that calling is the way to go. But the problem is that women never answer the phone initially because they're most likely busy, at work, etc.. So you leave a voice mail which is then returned with a text. So you keep playing phone tag until you eventually just make plans via text. I always try calling with every woman whose number I get. But it is rare when you can actually get one on the phone. 1
Author Omei Posted March 15, 2015 Author Posted March 15, 2015 I agree that calling is the way to go. But the problem is that women never answer the phone initially because they're most likely busy, at work, etc.. So you leave a voice mail which is then returned with a text. So you keep playing phone tag until you eventually just make plans via text. I always try calling with every woman whose number I get. But it is rare when you can actually get one on the phone. Well I happily answered :-P I find thats true even with friends now a days no one picks up the phone lol I love calling my family members they're over 60 most of them and dont know a thing about texting its nice.
smackie9 Posted March 15, 2015 Posted March 15, 2015 I agree I feel that he may def be a rare find, so far I like how nice he is to me and his effort to pick up the phone is great we wont know for sure until next weekend but im going to def go in with a open mind. I'll update tonight if he calls again, and share. We usually talk though text during the day but on the last call I told him I was just going to let him rest and ill wait for his call, I too have spent all afternoon in bed when I woke up I had a bad head ache my nose is stuffed and my throat is recked had he not beat me to it there was a chance I possibly would of cancled tonight too because I dont feel so hot. You have that damn flu/cold that me and everyone else had. It takes about a month and a half to feel normal again. One day you will think you are feeling better and before you know it you have an ear infection from it. The sinus headaches are horrible. To make it tolerable I took nyquil. Make sure you buy the tissue with the lotion in it.
smackie9 Posted March 15, 2015 Posted March 15, 2015 Well I happily answered :-P I find thats true even with friends now a days no one picks up the phone lol I love calling my family members they're over 60 most of them and dont know a thing about texting its nice. To me a phone call makes it that much more special. If they don't answer, they are not that into you, because if I was real hot for someone I would never miss a call or give them the button no matter how busy I am. 1
Author Omei Posted March 15, 2015 Author Posted March 15, 2015 You have that damn flu/cold that me and everyone else had. It takes about a month and a half to feel normal again. One day you will think you are feeling better and before you know it you have an ear infection from it. The sinus headaches are horrible. To make it tolerable I took nyquil. Make sure you buy the tissue with the lotion in it. This has been the worst year of sickness in my entire life it started before christmas when I had pneumonia for six weeks got better for a week then flu, ive been better for two weeks now this apparently its been on the news a lot according to my mother the illness rates broke records this year in my city. The call made me feel very special last time a dude called me before a date was when I was 16 and texting didnt exist yet lol.
smackie9 Posted March 15, 2015 Posted March 15, 2015 Getting sick like this is nature's way of building up an immunity and safe guarding us from future outbreaks. So in a way it's a good thing. Hope you feel better soon
fitnessfan365 Posted March 15, 2015 Posted March 15, 2015 (edited) Well I happily answered :-P I find thats true even with friends now a days no one picks up the phone lol I love calling my family members they're over 60 most of them and dont know a thing about texting its nice. Like this woman I'm dealing with now for example. Try calling her yesterday in the late morning. Leave a voice mail. Eight hours later she sends a 'Sorry I missed your call, hopefully we can connect tmrw" text when I'm at a family dinner. So I text her back this morning saying "Give me a time frame when you're free to talk, and I'll give you a ring." It's Sun and she's probably busy, So I'll most likely get a text from her tonight which I won't be able to answer because I have plans later. So at that point, I'll just set plans with her via text and be done with it..LOL Edited March 15, 2015 by fitnessfan365
SawtoothMars Posted March 15, 2015 Posted March 15, 2015 Dinner was just a suggestion thats not written in stone, I suggested coffee and then we go from there what we wanna do I suspect it wont be a short date because hes going to spend a hour driving just to get here. Ive had both coffee dates and dinner dates lunch dates whatever the meal time its srsly made no difference to me the only thing that bothers me is a dinner date can get expensive which I shared that maybe we shouldn't do something that costs money he doesnt seem to care about finances and said I could make the calls. A couple points. First... if the guy likes you... don't question it. You may be at a different life stage, but guys often times don't care about that. He is going to be more interested in who you are as a person. Also... When I've talked to a woman for a period of time and I feel some kind of connection. I don't want to cheap out and do some crappy coffee date. Heck... If he is driving an hour to see you. I would want to do dinner and just trust that you are not some wierdo. I honestly think most guys do coffee dates just to make sure the woman isn't fat or concealing some weird horn. 1
Author Omei Posted March 15, 2015 Author Posted March 15, 2015 Well he called, again He talked about his passion for hockey, about his dogs, living in the country we talked about my pets also. He mentioned before he shares custody of one of the dogs with his ex I knew this before but he talked about it further how much the dog means to him and that he would of taken her to court over the dog had they not made a weekend swap agreement It sounds like he want's to make his reasoning for contact really clear like hes worried im going to back out if I know this fact or something. I have no issue with it. We talked about other things too but my head hurts to much right now it was just simple things like the weather. Said he likes my voice. Anyway it was a nice chat he asked to call again one more time later tonight He seems really interested in me so far. Lot's of effort on his part. 1
fitnessfan365 Posted March 15, 2015 Posted March 15, 2015 Calling you once to show his excuse was genuine I get. But asking to call again in the same day? This guy sounds REALLY CLINGY.
BlackOpsZombieGirl Posted March 15, 2015 Posted March 15, 2015 Calling you once to show his excuse was genuine I get. But asking to call again in the same day? This guy sounds REALLY CLINGY. Either that, or he just really REALLY likes her and he can't wait until the next date to talk to her! . 1
Author Omei Posted March 16, 2015 Author Posted March 16, 2015 Calling you once to show his excuse was genuine I get. But asking to call again in the same day? This guy sounds REALLY CLINGY. Im initiating just as much to our convo's, through text tho im too shy to call. If he does call again it would be the third time today. Right now he's telling me how pretty my eyes are and he could stare in them forever. He seems pretty movie romantical. I get annoyed with clingy people real fast and that's not happening with him so im enjoying the attention right now. Yesterday we only spoke a few words to each other because of how sick he was so he does have down time.
fitnessfan365 Posted March 16, 2015 Posted March 16, 2015 If he does call again it would be the third time today. You don't find three calls in one day clingy behavior? If you're enjoying yourself, that's great. But this is a guy that hasn't even met with you yet. He's already saying romantic sentiments and being REALLY attached to you. So these are warning signs to look out for. I mean it would be one thing if you'd been seeing this guy for a few months and there was a comfort level. But you haven't even had a date with him yet..LOL
Author Omei Posted March 16, 2015 Author Posted March 16, 2015 (edited) You don't find three calls in one day clingy behavior? If you're enjoying yourself, that's great. But this is a guy that hasn't even met with you yet. He's already saying romantic sentiments and being REALLY attached to you. So these are warning signs to look out for. I mean it would be one thing if you'd been seeing this guy for a few months and there was a comfort level. But you haven't even had a date with him yet..LOL I am enjoying myself if he is clingy its lovey dove clingy that I can deal with im used to it since I usually go for guys that look and are mega young. It's depressed type of clingy I can't deal with, "im so sad I need you" type thing those guys I get so drained from. I wouldn't find it excessive I am initiating just as much. And I said he could call each time and I meant it. My last relationship was LD of five years im really used to tons of media connecting. This guy lives an hour out of town I am guessing if we got serious there would be much calls and text and skype and im okay with that actually I like it because it allows me the space I need while keeping them happy. I guess I really grew accustom of being in a relationship but being alone at the same time and I really like it. Im pretty used to this. He's also mentioned he much rather talk to me than text to me various times. Don't worry I don't fall easy at least I don't think I could I feel im pretty jaded from my last relationship and I tend to pull out really fast if I don't like something. Im very aware of pretty words with no meaning behind them. I am not taking his comments to heart yet. Edited March 16, 2015 by Omei
Author Omei Posted March 16, 2015 Author Posted March 16, 2015 He never ended up calling 3 times just the twice. We've been texting on and off today while he's been at work, I learned he's been a mechanic for 11 years he fix's the citys garbage disposal tucks and also has his own side business fixing peoples cars and stuff I guess. He mentioned he's starting to get nervous to meet me but is excited at the same time. Me too.
fitnessfan365 Posted March 16, 2015 Posted March 16, 2015 That's exactly why it's a good idea to keep the communication to a minimum and meet in person ASAP. That way you judge the person on who they actually are. When you do tons of emails, calls, and texts for weeks before meeting, you develop expectations in your mind. Then when the person doesn't live up them you're ultimately disappointed. I just hope that isn't the case here because you two seem to be digging each other. Hopefully it works out for the best in person. 1
Author Omei Posted March 16, 2015 Author Posted March 16, 2015 (edited) That's exactly why it's a good idea to keep the communication to a minimum and meet in person ASAP. That way you judge the person on who they actually are. When you do tons of emails, calls, and texts for weeks before meeting, you develop expectations in your mind. Then when the person doesn't live up them you're ultimately disappointed. I just hope that isn't the case here because you two seem to be digging each other. Hopefully it works out for the best in person. We've actually just talked about that a bit just now he called, during his break and we were talking about places to go and he mentions some places one of them being The Keg because steak is my favorite and he read that on my profile and I said, that place is like 100$ after two people if not more and I said if it turns out we don't connect in life he'll be unhappy with the bill his reply is "stop worrying so much im paying and dating is always a risk you jump or don't" So we might go to The Keg I don't know he seems keen to dine me all proper I think I should just let him he said if I still didn't feel a connection after he can take it straight and honest but he wants to make it special for me. I think im just gonna give in and let him do his impress thing. He said we could do whatever I wanted but I can tell he wants to make it special so im just gonna let him try. Until next weekend communication is all we have, So far I really like it honestly every time I fell in the past its because I knew them on a talking bases more I can really fall for personality over looks. His voice sounds so cute on the phone ;p this guy is either the real deal or just very smooth I really hope it turns out good in person, if not we tried right? Edited March 16, 2015 by Omei
Author Omei Posted March 17, 2015 Author Posted March 17, 2015 (edited) Found out he smokes, really not too thrilled about that. It's almost a deal breaker for me, if he not had said hes trying to quit and went 163 days this year without one but went back, good attempt. I hate the smell in a smokers clothing, the taste of their kiss, the walls of their homes the yellow on the finger tips. It's all so gross. Still going to give him a chance of course Edited March 17, 2015 by Omei
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