masaki1085 Posted April 10, 2005 Posted April 10, 2005 My ex and I parted ways 2 months ago this upcoming Friday. Immediately, I set up no contact, and have maintained it (except if you count 1 time I visited her parents, to drop off a painting I created of my gf as an art project when we were dating; I hate to see art go to waste so I gave it to her parents while she was out of town). I guess my question is that is it normal that this pain still lingers, popping in every once so often? Are bad days still fairly normal at this point, even though its been about 2 months (without any contact, no less)? What do you think are some good ways to deal with these bad days? A big problem is that I am fairly alone at college. My art major demands a big chunk of my time; therefore, I have little time to get involved with activities at school. My circle of friends was her circle of friends while I was dating her, so I do not hang out with them anymore. Plus, I am at one of those college campuses where the vast majority of students tend to go home on weekends. And it is usually when I am alone when the demons come and cause me to have bad days. Any advice on what to do when you're stuck by yourself and you're having a bad day? Thanks, everyone!
XNemesisX Posted April 10, 2005 Posted April 10, 2005 2 months is not long at all. My break up is going on 6 months now and I still experience my fair share of "bad days." I think that the intensity and duration of the relationship will determine how long you will have these bad days. Of course, I also go to a college where a lot of people leave on the weekends and my classes keep me busy and certainly put a damper on my social life so I can relate to what you're saying. I really don't want to give you advice on how to cope with the bad days because I know that how I cope with it is not the best method. I don't think there is ever a really good answer for this and it's just something you do have to deal with on your own. Try getting a pet. Do you have any? My pets have helped me a lot. They also keep you company and they love you no matter what. As for my own personal coping strategies, I do take sleeping pills sometimes when I'm having a really bad day and just sleep through it and hope that when I wake up I might feel better. I'm not sure if I would recommend this or not though, since now I'm having some problems with my sleeping patterns. Go for a pet! (If you don't already have one or two). Pets really do make you feel better
sami Posted April 10, 2005 Posted April 10, 2005 Do they????? May be!!! though I believe nothing is like a good and nice human companion.
GreenCap Posted April 10, 2005 Posted April 10, 2005 My parting has been 7 months already and occassionally the hurt/memories come back haunt you. Only hope is that it lingers on less and less but know this, something somewhere and sometime unexpected regardless of how you've move on with your life and found true happiness elsewhere, you will remember events of the past and reflect on how it has impacted your life etc. This is the first time I have been back to LS for over 3 months (give or take) and it is because something happened that made me think of the past. I saw her. Funnily, I wanted to make myself feel worse than I should be and may have even succeeded. However, I know I am not alone and will never be alone because I have faith good things will come my way. You should too regardless of whether your art consumes you etc. You still have to eat, buy groceries, buy supplies and meet with classmates. Whenever you have people around you, there is always a chance that you will meet someone and will never end up alone. You feel alone because you tell yourself you want to be alone. Continue with your art, use the restlessness inside of you to produce something terrific. Perhaps once you immortalized the hurt inside you, you will soon discover that you've dropped off a huge burden and can walk faster to the future. Cheers.
Author masaki1085 Posted April 10, 2005 Author Posted April 10, 2005 Thanks so much everyone! It really helps. It had actually been awhile since I've logged back on LS, but I come on every now and then just to check out the posts. What made me start to have sad thoughts again was that I saw my ex in a Facebook photo of a sort-of mutual friend. *sigh* Even though it's pretty insignficant, it is usually the insignficant things that just get your mind rolling in a direction you don't want it to go.
pippen_2k Posted April 10, 2005 Posted April 10, 2005 Yeah it usually is something rather small that can trigger you off having a bad day. For me a text message or an e mail from her can usually set me back a few days. Seeing her picture definatley wouldnt help either, I havnt seen my ex in 3 months and I know seeing her would only cause me pain, so I understand why it triggered you off. In regards to you hurting on weekends, im in the same boat. Its when we have too much spare times on our hands that them demons come. Weekends are always painful for me at the moment. Everyone finishes work on a friday and looks forward to their weekend.. not me.. I walk out on Friday goin *sigh*.. here we go again. Its easy to say keep busy and distract yourself, but thats what you gotta do. If you are sitting around at home thinking too much, her memories are gonna surface and haunt you all day. If your doing something ( no matter what it is ) it acts as a good distraction and before you know it the day is over, and hell you may even have enjoyed yourself. Keep busy, be around people, get outside, join a club..I dunno but u gotta keep busy! Good Luck.
Recommended Posts