sjev Posted April 10, 2005 Posted April 10, 2005 Need advice. Husband had an affair years back. We went to counseling for over a year. However the trust issue is a difficult for me to feel again. Recently I found condoms in his over night bag. He explained them away. I don't believe it. I know the issue is staring me right in the face again. He is not the most easiest man to talk to. Has anyone else been in a similar situation? would love to hear from you.
LucreziaBorgia Posted April 10, 2005 Posted April 10, 2005 Sometimes it takes drastic measures. Go talk to a lawyer, and discuss your legal options. Bring the information you learn home with you, and inform your husband that he is either going to stop what he is doing (no need to debate the issue, you know he's doing it), and work on fixing himself and agree to work with you on fixing the issues in your marriage - or you are going to divorce him. Period. Give him no room to argue or debate. If he tries to continue gaslighting you - leave. Tell him firmly that those are his only options, and leave if you have to. If you have kids, take them with you - go to a relative's house if you have to. If he continues doing anything other than working to fix the marriage - then he is doing everything to destroy it, and he should understand that it means the end of the marriage. He either wants to work on it or he doesn't. If he does, then you have a chance - if he doesn't then you'll either have to accept your marriage how it is, or divorce him. If you don't stop this now - through either drastic measures, or divorce - it isn't going to stop. He'll continue cheating on you.
reservoirdog1 Posted April 10, 2005 Posted April 10, 2005 At the risk of being blunt, once you get proof, divorce his lying ass. He's already done this once, and you two worked through it. He saw what it did to you last time. And yet he went and did it again. You gave him a second chance and he willingly blew it. "Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me."
Mr Spock Posted April 10, 2005 Posted April 10, 2005 Recently I found condoms in his over night bag. He explained them away At least he uses them. How the hell do you explain condoms when you're in a monagamous relationship?
Craig Posted April 10, 2005 Posted April 10, 2005 Originally posted by Mr Spock How the hell do you explain condoms when you're in a monagamous relationship? sjev, what are his reasons for having condoms in his overnight bag?
BAKUNIN Posted April 11, 2005 Posted April 11, 2005 Exactly. What was his explanation for condoms?????? I really want to hear this one!
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