VSgirl Posted March 15, 2015 Posted March 15, 2015 So I’ve reached out to people about what happened with that guy I like and had another post about our first meeting. People concluded that the first meeting went well, but that the guy might have been looking more for sex than a relationship. To clarify again, we met wednesday, kissed multiple times and he was the one to bring up our planned meeting for Saturday..that he was looking forward to that and other dates with me. He also kissed me goodbye several times that day and said he’d text me that night after work which he did. I texted him hello on Thursday and didn’t hear for awhile but heard from him that evening. I didn’t really plan to text him again first, but took a male friend’s advice to text him Friday (yesterday morning) just to confirm the plans. Since this guy does not have a car and I just wanted to firm up things, but I didn’t think it would harm things. Never heard from him Friday or today. I told one friend about this and she seemed to think he had made a date or hookup with a girl and didn’t want me to know..that he was a player and might be texting me in the next few days. I realize this guy is probably a jerk, but for the sake of wanting to do better with my next guy…what should I have done differently or what do you think is the reason for this? And is there any way I hear from this guy again? My only thinking was that I shouldn’t have texted him first the last couple days and let him follow up on the plans himself.
Mrin Posted March 15, 2015 Posted March 15, 2015 I didn't read the earlier thread but from what you wrote here, as a guy, you did nothing wrong. So basically you haven't heard from this guy since end of date #1 right? And he just blew through your actual planned date. Hmmmm that sounds suspicious to me. I'd have expected something even some lame "my friend is sick lets reschedule". This sounds like something more untoward has happened. Could be illness or something innocent. Or death in the family. Or he could have been tossed in jail. Or fired. Or gone on a multiday bender. There is really nothing you can do to help or find out. Sit tight. And to your original question again - you did nothing wrong
GoodFlora Posted March 15, 2015 Posted March 15, 2015 I think that on first dates we shouldn't make out. I've done the same and it didn't work. I think that it's better to take it slow and keep your excitement to the next date.
fitnessfan365 Posted March 15, 2015 Posted March 15, 2015 If I'm attracted to a woman, I always go for a kiss on the first night. But I never go a full on make out session. The first time you kiss a woman, you should leave her wanting more. So I love kissing her initially ever so shortly, pulling away to make it seem like I am leaving, and then I grab her hand to stop her from leaving and pull her in to kiss her just a bit longer. Then I do actually leave with her feeling hot and bothered biting her lower lip wishing I wouldn't.
Author VSgirl Posted March 15, 2015 Author Posted March 15, 2015 I saw him online on the dating site we met today. I realize after one date someone isn't ready to commit, but thought it was bad he wasn't able to at least reach out to me with a lame or good excuse. I realized he might be dating other people and we hadn't nailed down a lot of details for today (although the fact that we would meet, eat dinner and dessert out and watch movies was the plan)..but we'd been talking through text a lot the last couple weeks and wednesday had seemed to go so well. We kissed throughout the date, but it never lasted long enough to really be considered a makeout session in my book..more like passionate kisses? Anyway, genuinely stumped because he seemed attracted and I'll admit if something off happens on a date. Couldn't find anything that seemed odd.
fitnessfan365 Posted March 15, 2015 Posted March 15, 2015 I saw him online on the dating site we met today. I realize after one date someone isn't ready to commit, but thought it was bad he wasn't able to at least reach out to me with a lame or good excuse. I realized he might be dating other people and we hadn't nailed down a lot of details for today (although the fact that we would meet, eat dinner and dessert out and watch movies was the plan)..but we'd been talking through text a lot the last couple weeks and wednesday had seemed to go so well. We kissed throughout the date, but it never lasted long enough to really be considered a makeout session in my book..more like passionate kisses? Anyway, genuinely stumped because he seemed attracted and I'll admit if something off happens on a date. Couldn't find anything that seemed odd. Player trick # 2 Playing hard to get and being a challenge to get you to think about him, which you're clearly doing. Then when he comes calling, you're so glad to see him that it's easy to seduce you.
Author VSgirl Posted March 15, 2015 Author Posted March 15, 2015 Mrin he texted me from work after the date on Wednesday and a couple texts on Thursday. I assumed if he didn't want to talk to me he'd never have texted or he would have said something. I didn't hear friday when I texted him first (which I normally dont do) and nothing today. I only sent him the one text friday, nothing today
Author VSgirl Posted March 15, 2015 Author Posted March 15, 2015 So fitnessfan365, you think this guy will contact me again?
fitnessfan365 Posted March 15, 2015 Posted March 15, 2015 So fitnessfan365, you think this guy will contact me again? Haha.. This proves my point. You openly say you know he isn't ready for a commitment, Yet you want him to contact you. In the end it's up to you.
Author VSgirl Posted March 15, 2015 Author Posted March 15, 2015 Fitness fan how is it up to me? I do still like the guy, but want to try pursuing it another way (me being open to dating multiple people until I want to get more serious with one). Don't I have to wait to hear from him?
katiegrl Posted March 15, 2015 Posted March 15, 2015 (edited) Mrin he texted me from work after the date on Wednesday and a couple texts on Thursday. I assumed if he didn't want to talk to me he'd never have texted or he would have said something. I didn't hear friday when I texted him first (which I normally dont do) and nothing today. I only sent him the one text friday, nothing today Are you the girl who cried during your first date with him? Just as he was about to leave? Or he wanted you to leave (his car). Can't remember exactly...but if you are that girl, that whole thing in his car may have been just a tad too intense for him on a first date...and after thinking about it, decided he did not wish to pursue things further. If I have you mixed up with someone else...I apologize. Edited March 15, 2015 by katiegrl
Author VSgirl Posted March 15, 2015 Author Posted March 15, 2015 katiegrl, that was me, however with a different guy. I've definitely learned from that. Nothing weird happened on this date with this guy. We kissed in my car because he took the light rail since he's currently without a car. He asked if I wanted him to take one of two times for the lightrail since he had to get to work. I said, whatever works for you. He stayed longer, kissed me some more and texted me after work like he said he would. We had plans for Saturday though and didn't hear from him Friday or today (saturday). So I don't know what to think.
h0000 Posted March 15, 2015 Posted March 15, 2015 he doesn't seem consistent. if i were you, such behaviour is not acceptable.It's not about wanting to commit or not. I'd say he isnt that keen
katiegrl Posted March 15, 2015 Posted March 15, 2015 katiegrl, that was me, however with a different guy. I've definitely learned from that. Nothing weird happened on this date with this guy. We kissed in my car because he took the light rail since he's currently without a car. He asked if I wanted him to take one of two times for the lightrail since he had to get to work. I said, whatever works for you. He stayed longer, kissed me some more and texted me after work like he said he would. We had plans for Saturday though and didn't hear from him Friday or today (saturday). So I don't know what to think. Okay thanks for clarifying that. Re this new guy, you had a date today and he blew you off.. which is totally rude and unacceptable...at least in my world it is. Just out of curiosity, why would you want to have anything more to do with a guy who blew you off? Where are your boundaries!? Self-respect? Forget about him calling again...if a guy did that to me, he'd be blocked and deleted by now, especially since you saw him back on the site!
guest569 Posted March 15, 2015 Posted March 15, 2015 You don't need to think anything. You did nothing wrong. Find the next one. There's not much to learn from this in my view. Pretty odd to passionately kiss on a first date and then ignore you despite the plans but unless he comes back with a good excuse, forget him
katiegrl Posted March 15, 2015 Posted March 15, 2015 You don't need to think anything. You did nothing wrong. Find the next one. There's not much to learn from this in my view. Pretty odd to passionately kiss on a first date and then ignore you despite the plans but unless he comes back with a good excuse, forget him There is no excuse, good or otherwise, for completely blowing her off like he did. Not even a call or text canceling, a total blow off. Since she saw him on the site today, he's fine and has had plenty of time to get in touch. I'm still scratching my head wondering why she hasn't blocked him yet. Instead she is wondering if he will ever call her again!
guest569 Posted March 15, 2015 Posted March 15, 2015 There is no excuse, good or otherwise, for completely blowing her off like he did. Not even a call or text canceling, a total blow off. Since she saw him on the site today, he's fine and has had plenty of time to get in touch. You're right, he has time to login to a dating site, and if it were phone trouble he could have used the site to contact OP. I find it really bizarre, but for me, spending majority of the first date making out would put me off.
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