Breaking It Off

[MGX]

I prefer instant sparks rather than a slow burn that isn't as intense. I prefer to FEEL intense emotions and to feel passionate about a partner. Or else I would rather remain single and have passion with short lived flings, as opposed to settling down with someone who didn't light my fire as much in the bedroom.

 

A spark can lead to a warm, bright, steady and consistent fire. Something that CAN grow in intensity through love and care. Make no mistake there IS attraction or there wouldn't have been a spark to begin with.

 

But this isn't you, so...

 

And yes I know couples who were really into each other from day one and who had had the initial spark and fireworks. It is not that rare.

 

Did these couples that you admire have the same philosophy as you do -- actively seeking out such red hot intensity partners and ignoring anyone else? Or was it chance that made two people who didn't actively look for such things encounter each other that had remarkable chemistry? Maybe what worked for them won't work for you? Who you ultimately wind up with might not be how you might have originally envisioned it.

[Leigh 87]

A spark can lead to a warm, bright, steady and consistent fire. Something that CAN grow in intensity through love and care. Make no mistake there IS attraction or there wouldn't have been a spark to begin with.

 

But this isn't you, so...

 

 

 

Did these couples that you admire have the same philosophy as you do -- actively seeking out such red hot intensity partners and ignoring anyone else? Or was it chance that made two people who didn't actively look for such things encounter each other that had remarkable chemistry? Maybe what worked for them won't work for you? Who you ultimately wind up with might not be how you might have originally envisioned it.

 

 

I have been with both types...

 

I preferred the guys I had the passion for.

 

The men I gave a chance to with whom I DID NOT feel the passion, and where I did NOT have that lovey dovey, googly eyes " honeymoon" period,- I NEVER had as much passion as I did with the sparks guys...

 

I know who I am and I have tried both methods of dating and I know which relationships I preferred - the ones with intense attraction, passion and the whole " can't stop thinking of them" type of a union....

[Leigh 87]

A spark can lead to a warm, bright, steady and consistent fire. Something that CAN grow in intensity through love and care. Make no mistake there IS attraction or there wouldn't have been a spark to begin with.

 

But this isn't you, so...

 

 

 

Did these couples that you admire have the same philosophy as you do -- actively seeking out such red hot intensity partners and ignoring anyone else? Or was it chance that made two people who didn't actively look for such things encounter each other that had remarkable chemistry? Maybe what worked for them won't work for you? Who you ultimately wind up with might not be how you might have originally envisioned it.

 

 

and both partners had formerly been with either: passionate people with whom they weren't compatible with, OR, they had low passion unions that just didn't do it for either of them.

 

They both wanted the entire package; red hot passion and compatibility.

 

I am very much like my friend. I would prefer to be head over heels, crazy in love. Madly in love.

 

I enjoy passionate sex with intense chemistry present.

 

I don't enjoy - and I HATED, even, my low passion relationships that had plenty of companionship and comfort.

 

So yeah. I am definitely the type to want a the fireworks. I don't need a partner or a companion badly enough to just HAVE one - for the sake of it - I would only ever want one if they exited me and made me feel passionate about them and the sex was off the charts.

 

It is deffs who I am and I don't think there is any more "right" way to go about dating than others.

 

Whatever works. I have been single 6 months and I have enjoyed plenty of hot dates so I am enjoying myself and I don't think my style will not "work"..... Because as long as I am happy single and I enjoy the date sI DO have, then it is working.

 

If I wanted a partner and having a person with whom to share my life with was IMPORTANT to me - I would obviously not require the most intense passion in the bedroom.

[Leigh 87]

I am also a big believe in not settling for less than what you know in your heart you want.

 

I just don't have it in me to settle for less than the fiery passion my friends have - and other couples I have known - share.

 

I personally would rather remain single than settle for lower chemistry and a less explosive sex life. Being single and having great friends as companions appeals so much more to me than dating a guy where it is not as intense or as passionate as I know some other people experience.

 

To me it would be settling.

 

To others, they actively avoid infatuation, passion and explosive sexual attractions because they DO NOT believe it has a chance of working in the long run. So they avoid it in favour of companionate love.

 

People just need to go after what they know will make them happy and not listen to people who try to tell them otherwise - as though they KNOW you better than you know yourself.

 

 

 

 

At least this guy took it well and we can be friends.

[NGC1300]

"I'm sorry, but I don't feel a romantic connection with you. You're a great guy, and I don't want to waste your time."

 

Hate the "great guy" part. So cliché it's painful.

[MGX]

I am also a big believe in not settling for less than what you know in your heart you want.

 

I just don't have it in me to settle for less than the fiery passion my friends have - and other couples I have known - share.

 

I personally would rather remain single than settle for lower chemistry and a less explosive sex life. Being single and having great friends as companions appeals so much more to me than dating a guy where it is not as intense or as passionate as I know some other people experience.

 

To me it would be settling.

 

To others, they actively avoid infatuation, passion and explosive sexual attractions because they DO NOT believe it has a chance of working in the long run. So they avoid it in favour of companionate love.

 

People just need to go after what they know will make them happy and not listen to people who try to tell them otherwise - as though they KNOW you better than you know yourself.

 

At least this guy took it well and we can be friends.

 

They both wanted the entire package; red hot passion and compatibility.

 

I am very much like my friend. I would prefer to be head over heels, crazy in love. Madly in love.

 

I enjoy passionate sex with intense chemistry present.

 

Everyone wants that. You're no different.

 

But who says that you CAN'T have infatuation, passion and explosive sexual attraction after a few dates? Relationships grow date after date, they develop over time. Not everything is instant.

 

If I wanted a partner and having a person with whom to share my life with was IMPORTANT to me - I would obviously not require the most intense passion in the bedroom.

 

This puzzles me...settling down is boring? It doesn't have to be.

 

Why can't you have BOTH of those things -- a person with whom to share my life with AND the most intense passion in the bedroom? Why does it have to be "either/or"?

[katiegrl]

Leigh, I would like to recommend a great book -- "He's Scared, She's Scared," it's a great read, extremely enlightening!

 

NOT just for commitment phobes either -- it's for anyone and everyone who wants to gain a better understanding of themselves and others, and why we choose the people we do. Why we become attracted to certain people and why we don't.

 

It also discusses why we can "think" we are attracted to someone one day, and the next we aren't!

 

It's a fun read...I promise you will love it! In fact, even though I am in a relationship now, *I* may even read again! For like the hundredth time!

 

They sell it on amazon....

 

Enjoy and good luck!

[fitnessfan365]

he would love to be friends, as we live close by and he said having met me and being able to have me in his life as a new friends makes him happier than before he had met me.

 

Haha.. Typical "nice guy" BS.

 

They do this all the time where they say they want to still be "friends" because they think if they spend time with a girl, they may be able to change her mind. Do yourself a favor and cut this guy out of your life completely.

[SawtoothMars]

lol I'm not sure if you people are joking.. you're going to pay him back for the dates? I mean, he chose to spend money on you. It doesn't mean you are obliged to marry the guy. People are so tight haha.

 

It is the right thing to do. Cheapskates and stingy people take what they can get from others without returning. Maybe he wouldn't accept it. It isn't really about him... it's about her being a good person and walking away from this head held high.

 

 

Hold on.

I never said that infatuation lasts. It is brief by definition.

I am saying; I prefer to go through the infatuation phase to BEGIN with. To kick a relationship off.

It isn't a thing of the movies - how come I know two or three couples who are dating for years and whom both felt the instant chemistry and connection?

How about the couples I know who were just really into each other from the start, and where the kissing felt so right from the first kiss?

It isn't rare enough to be a thing of Hollywood scrips.

Some people really don't need to warm up to their partners, take a few weeks to feel "into them", or to settle for less than hot and passionate sex.

LONG TERM - yes you need optimal compatibility. But there is still nothing wrong with wanting a HIGH degree of NATURAL chemistry.

 

It isn't natural chemistry... it's anxiety... like you feel before you take a test.

 

Love isn't a 5 minute feeling. Love is a choice. A choice that you have to make every single day.

 

Basing a relationship off initial chemistry is a bad idea. You might know a few couples that are a few years into it who did this... but that doesn't make it a good idea. Nor do they have anything better than other couples... in fact what they have is much less. Stop trying to base your "idea" of love off the Notebook. When it works it often isn't healthy and never ever lasts.

 

I mean think about this for a second. Why try to make a feeling of anxiety the cornerstone of your relationship when you already know that it's going to fade quickly? What is the point? When it fades all you have left is the bare hope that you are somehow compatible... but you still going to want that feeling.

 

FitnessFan nailed this in an earlier post. This guy showed too much romantic interest in you too fast... and that left you with nothing to be anxious over. If this guy had acted colder and more aloof, this same guy would elicit the feeling you want. You need to be more self aware!

[fitnessfan365]

This is a perfect example of how a woman's practical romantic side and her subconscious true desires are in complete conflict.

 

On the surface you can't understand why a "nice guy" that would buy you flowers and be so seemingly devoted to you, wouldn't turn you on. However, it is because he is such a "nice" guy that's way too predictable and clingy to get attached to a woman he barely knows, that has your subconscious running for the hills.

 

I mean deep down you know that any guy who would come on so strong after one week lacks the strong masculine core that you truly desire. You want a guy that's a bit of a challenge, that will keep you on your toes with playful, masculine, dominant behavior. Tell me I'm wrong..

 

Here's my earlier post that he mentioned.

[katiegrl]

Haha.. Typical "nice guy" BS.

 

They do this all the time where they say they want to still be "friends" because they think if they spend time with a girl, they may be able to change her mind. Do yourself a favor and cut this guy out of your life completely.

 

ff..I DO agree this guy was too nice. Too much...way too soon. Would turn me off too!

 

But Leigh was attracted to that at first...she admitted that herself.

 

THAT is what is confusing. On the first date, he was everything she ever wanted in a guy. She admitted that! Said she loved his "niceness" - she was attracted to his niceness....said his niceness is what caused her to feel so into him!

 

So what happened between date one and date two that caused such a shift in her feelings?

 

I just find that odd...and I think she is very confused about her feelings and what she truly wants. She is all over the board...literally and figuratively!

 

She needs to read the book I recommended... it would help her gain more clarity for sure.

 

But she won't. Probably thinks she's fine and knows everything... and all she has to do is meet the "right" guy and they will ride off into the sunset together living happily ever after....

[SawtoothMars]

Don't you dare write a check or give the guy a gift card... absolutely an insulting thing to do and any guy worth his salt would not accept it either..

Any guy who would accept it is not a man...

Dating has nothing to do with paying for your time and having to return money if it doesn't work out.. how utterly ridiculous.

 

Thank you Mr. Victorian Era for your wonderful insight. I would like to share with you this wonderful news... we have entered the 21st century... and women are no longer second class citizens. They can actually work and contribute... Oh... and vote too!

 

Women who just take and give nothing in return... are not any kind of quality. This isn't 1850... it's important for BOTH genders to show a generous spirit.

[katiegrl]

Sawtooth mentioned she needs to become more self-aware.

 

Yes!!! 100% agree with that!!

[Art_Critic]

Thank you Mr. Victorian Era for your wonderful insight. I would like to share with you this wonderful news... we have entered the 21st century... and women are no longer second class citizens. They can actually work and contribute... Oh... and vote too!

 

Women who just take and give nothing in return... are not any kind of quality. This isn't 1850... it's important for BOTH genders to show a generous spirit.

 

 

......

[edgygirl]

I didn't read all the posts, just the first page but to be honest after 20+ years dating I am not sure the head over hills feelings is good gauging for life partner material.

 

Head over hills is about an ideal, an immediate attraction. The people we feel that specific feeling for are not necessarily good partner material.

 

Believe me, I was exactly like you and I believed in the same things.

 

A new world opened up to me lately when I realized that you can get more and more attracted over a few weeks to a few months to someone who is kind, generous, good, caring and loving, even when you thought you were not that attracted to them to start with. It's also hard to keep those connections of immediate passion long term.

 

Not saying you have to change your ideals, but I wish I have realized these things and gave a few guys more of a chance when I was younger. Looks is def NOT everything.

[katiegrl]

I didn't read all the posts, just the first page but to be honest after 20+ years dating I am not sure the head over hills feelings is good gauging for life partner material.

 

Head over hills is about an ideal, an immediate attraction. The people we feel that specific feeling for are not necessarily good partner material.

 

Believe me, I was exactly like you and I believed in the same things.

 

A new world opened up to me lately when I realized that you can get more and more attracted over a few weeks to a few months to someone who is kind, generous, good, caring and loving, even when you thought you were not that attracted to them to start with. It's also hard to keep those connections of immediate passion long term.

 

Not saying you have to change your ideals, but I wish I have realized these things and gave a few guys more of a chance when I was younger. Looks is def NOT everything.

 

Well notwithstanding the fact that the OP said it's not about looks for her...but "intense chemistry" (said she's felt intense chemistry with guys who were NOT good looking)... ..I agree with you!!!

[MGX]

Haha.. Typical "nice guy" BS.

 

They do this all the time where they say they want to still be "friends" because they think if they spend time with a girl, they may be able to change her mind. Do yourself a favor and cut this guy out of your life completely.

 

I think it's more like a polite way of saying "Sorry that our date didn't grow into more. Have a nice life, if I don't see you again."

[SawtoothMars]

......

 

Art... you have to be the coolest poster on here!

 

Maybe we don't agree on something, but believe me when I say that I respect your opinion. Even if I think it is fossilized.

 

I didn't read all the posts, just the first page but to be honest after 20+ years dating I am not sure the head over hills feelings is good gauging for life partner material.

Head over hills is about an ideal, an immediate attraction. The people we feel that specific feeling for are not necessarily good partner material.

Believe me, I was exactly like you and I believed in the same things.

A new world opened up to me lately when I realized that you can get more and more attracted over a few weeks to a few months to someone who is kind, generous, good, caring and loving, even when you thought you were not that attracted to them to start with. It's also hard to keep those connections of immediate passion long term.

Not saying you have to change your ideals, but I wish I have realized these things and gave a few guys more of a chance when I was younger. Looks is def NOT everything.

 

Edgy... I believe this is the truth! I think we have a mass media that has been for years selling people a pile of horse crap about relationships. Mostly because everything has to begin and end in 120 minutes.

 

If you look throughout human history the wise have always tried to impart this wisdom to the young and foolish. Even Disney is starting to help out by mocking this kind of thinking in the movie Frozen.

 

I don't get that feeling early in relationships because until I emotionally invest in someone... I'm very apathetic. Which for some reason is like catnip to nutters like Leigh87.

[BlackOpsZombieGirl]

You seem like a good person who is torn at ending a DATINGship (not a relationship) because of how into you he is. He is also a good person and, from how you describe him, is a very nice guy who maybe got a little too carried away with his feelings for you by giving you the necklace, flowers, meeting his family & friends and gushing to you how he's never felt like this about any other girl before.

 

That "spark", sexual chemistry and butterfly feelings that you're looking for is something HE has found...with YOU. That being said, you need to end things with this guy - NOW. Text or e-mail him ONE or TWO sentences and that's IT; something along the lines of, "I want to be honest with you and let you know that I don't feel a romantic connection with you. Take care of yourself and good luck with dating. Sincerely, Leigh."

 

Trust me, he'll get over you eventually; it's very doubtful that you're going to "break his heart" after a week of dating. He deserves to find a woman who is as into him as he is into her. Sweet guys like him don't come along every day, so hopefully he'll find a kind woman who will feel amazing chemistry with him, who will treat him right, who will be honest with him and who will love him for who he is - warts, stutters and all.

 

 

.

[Leigh 87]

I didn't read all the posts, just the first page but to be honest after 20+ years dating I am not sure the head over hills feelings is good gauging for life partner material.

 

Head over hills is about an ideal, an immediate attraction. The people we feel that specific feeling for are not necessarily good partner material.

 

Believe me, I was exactly like you and I believed in the same things.

 

A new world opened up to me lately when I realized that you can get more and more attracted over a few weeks to a few months to someone who is kind, generous, good, caring and loving, even when you thought you were not that attracted to them to start with. It's also hard to keep those connections of immediate passion long term.

 

Not saying you have to change your ideals, but I wish I have realized these things and gave a few guys more of a chance when I was younger. Looks is def NOT everything.

 

 

 

I know looks aren't everything - have you not read my 100;s of posts where I described that the guys I DID feel all giddy with excitement over - were NEVER the hottest or best looking men I had been with? The best looking men I have dated or hooked up with I did NOT feel any chemistry or intense attraction towards.

 

And I have given men a chance when the butterflies were never there - and guess what? I never got to go through the honeymoon stage. The sex was never explosive. No thanks. I would rather be single and enjoy being sexual with men who actually get me going in bed.

 

It is not unusual for some people to actually end up with the person with whom they have the most intense sex and passionate sex with.

 

It is not unusual for two people to meet, and for both of them to be super "excited" and "giddy" and to feel head over heels and to call "crazy" in love.

 

If what I enjoy feeling and what I want was unrealistic I would drop it. However, I am attractive enough and have an interesting and pleasant enough personality, to be one of those couples who was all excited and into a guy from the first date, as opposed to the women who never got their honeymoon period, and whom had had more passionate sex with PROIR lovers than what they had with their current...

 

My friend that I know personally has never had MORE passionate sex with a prior partner than she has had with her current - he slept with 50 women before her and what they have is more intense and passionate than all the women he has been with - because they have CHEMISTRY. Intense chemistry.

 

It is just not my style to NEED to go on "dates" or to "date" a guy with whom all I have is comfort, a warm body at night, a person to rely on. I don't need those things.

 

What I DO want is to fall MADLY in love, the way I have done with fireworks guys. And then all that comes with it - the companion - the life partner - appeals.

 

Having a companion and a life partner just does not appeal to me, if I have to bother wasting my time "dating" a man whom I simply don't feel any excitement or butterflies surrounding dating them.

 

Missing out on that giddy honeymoon phase is just not an option for me.

 

I know I will find a guy I am actually into, and with whom I will share a connection with; I know the guy will be crazy about me and me him. We will have loads of passion and will also be compatible.

 

^^^ it will take a little longer than if I decided to just settle down with one of the many "nice guys" who all want to treat me well. But I want my passion AND the nice guy.

 

I have felt passion for nice guys so it is not as though I only "feel" that intense chemistry for jerks! So I am sure an attractive and friendly girl like me will have no issues in finding passion with a nice guy eventually.

[Leigh 87]

Art... you have to be the coolest poster on here!

 

Maybe we don't agree on something, but believe me when I say that I respect your opinion. Even if I think it is fossilized.

 

 

 

Edgy... I believe this is the truth! I think we have a mass media that has been for years selling people a pile of horse crap about relationships. Mostly because everything has to begin and end in 120 minutes.

 

If you look throughout human history the wise have always tried to impart this wisdom to the young and foolish. Even Disney is starting to help out by mocking this kind of thinking in the movie Frozen.

 

I don't get that feeling early in relationships because until I emotionally invest in someone... I'm very apathetic. Which for some reason is like catnip to nutters like Leigh87.

 

 

Okay. How about my parents, who both felt a spark and excited about one another from date one?

 

Married at age 21. Still together in their 60's. Funny that.

 

Oh - and how about the many happy couples who were actually really into each other after the first date? And weren't indifferent or apathetic?

 

You know, some people are just crazy about someone - who in turn, feels the same way.

 

Are we all nutters for preferring to hold out for a person who actually makes us excited about dating them.

 

I think it is way more nutty to date a person whom you are not into, who you are not excited about and who you're simply not that into and not very attracted to.

 

You are free to enjoy your highly sexed marriage which you described with your wife, with whom you felt no real attraction to at first.

 

For me personally, I simply want to go through a honeymoon period. It is NORMAL to want the honeymoon period to BEGIN WITH.

 

MANY people are NOT okay with skipping out on that lustful, honeymoon stage....

[katiegrl]

I know looks aren't everything - have you not read my 100;s of posts where I described that the guys I DID feel all giddy with excitement over - were NEVER the hottest or best looking men I had been with? The best looking men I have dated or hooked up with I did NOT feel any chemistry or intense attraction towards.

 

And I have given men a chance when the butterflies were never there - and guess what? I never got to go through the honeymoon stage. The sex was never explosive. No thanks. I would rather be single and enjoy being sexual with men who actually get me going in bed.

 

It is not unusual for some people to actually end up with the person with whom they have the most intense sex and passionate sex with.

 

It is not unusual for two people to meet, and for both of them to be super "excited" and "giddy" and to feel head over heels and to call "crazy" in love.

 

If what I enjoy feeling and what I want was unrealistic I would drop it. However, I am attractive enough and have an interesting and pleasant enough personality, to be one of those couples who was all excited and into a guy from the first date, as opposed to the women who never got their honeymoon period, and whom had had more passionate sex with PROIR lovers than what they had with their current...

 

My friend that I know personally has never had MORE passionate sex with a prior partner than she has had with her current - he slept with 50 women before her and what they have is more intense and passionate than all the women he has been with - because they have CHEMISTRY. Intense chemistry.

 

It is just not my style to NEED to go on "dates" or to "date" a guy with whom all I have is comfort, a warm body at night, a person to rely on. I don't need those things.

 

What I DO want is to fall MADLY in love, the way I have done with fireworks guys. And then all that comes with it - the companion - the life partner - appeals.

 

Having a companion and a life partner just does not appeal to me, if I have to bother wasting my time "dating" a man whom I simply don't feel any excitement or butterflies surrounding dating them.

 

Missing out on that giddy honeymoon phase is just not an option for me.

 

I know I will find a guy I am actually into, and with whom I will share a connection with; I know the guy will be crazy about me and me him. We will have loads of passion and will also be compatible.

 

^^^ it will take a little longer than if I decided to just settle down with one of the many "nice guys" who all want to treat me well. But I want my passion AND the nice guy.

 

I have felt passion for nice guys so it is not as though I only "feel" that intense chemistry for jerks! So I am sure an attractive and friendly girl like me will have no issues in finding passion with a nice guy eventually.

 

Good gawd..how many times do you FEEL you have to explain yourself?

 

We get it, okay? We ALL get it....you need intense passion! We got it the FIRST time you explained it....sheesh!

 

This is overkill... move on. You ended it gracefully...as well you should have.

 

Now let it go...we need no more convincing. Do you?

 

Wish you the best going forward. Hope you find everything you are looking for!!

[Leigh 87]

Good gawd..how many times do you FEEL you have to explain yourself?

 

We get it, okay? We ALL get it....you need intense passion! We got it the FIRST time you explained it....sheesh!

 

This is overkill... move on. You ended it gracefully...as well you should have.

 

Now let it go...we need no more convincing. Do you?

 

Wish you the best going forward. Hope you find everything you are looking for!!

 

 

 

Well I Just don't appreciate the undertone of people allude to me not being likely to find a basic thing. Especially considering the fact I do not FEEL connections with the hottest men - I feel connections with those people who my body reacts to, and it so happens that I don't need men out of my league in order to garner those feelings of intense attraction.

 

I am a pleasant and attractive girl so I have no idea why people seem to think that meeting a partner who you are actually passionate about is some needle in a haystack.

 

I am nearly as pretty as the girls I know who did find it and I am just as nice as a person and have a personality as nice as their so I don't see why I too, cannot one day, find a man with whom I am EXCITED ABOUT and who I am crazy about and who returns me feelings.

[Weezy1973]

I know I will find a guy I am actually into, and with whom I will share a connection with; I know the guy will be crazy about me and me him. We will have loads of passion and will also be compatible.

 

No you don't. There's no way you can know this. You tell yourself this to make yourself feel better, but you certainly don't know it.

 

That being said - if you're happy with good sex and no relationship so be it. But if that's the case, I suspect you won't be on here posting about guys and whether or not they're into you. Or if they text you enough. Or if they bring you soup when you're sick.

 

So if you do post on here anxious about whether or not a guy is into you, we'll know that you actually aren't happy being single and do want a relationship.

 

Only time will tell...

[katiegrl]

Well I Just don't appreciate the undertone of people allude to me not being likely to find a basic thing. Especially considering the fact I do not FEEL connections with the hottest men - I feel connections with those people who my body reacts to, and it so happens that I don't need men out of my league in order to garner those feelings of intense attraction.

 

I am a pleasant and attractive girl so I have no idea why people seem to think that meeting a partner who you are actually passionate about is some needle in a haystack.

 

I am nearly as pretty as the girls I know who did find it and I am just as nice as a person and have a personality as nice as their so I don't see why I too, cannot one day, find a man with whom I am EXCITED ABOUT and who I am crazy about and who returns me feelings.

 

I agree with you...there is no reason you should settle for anything other than a man who totally ROCKS YOUR WORLD.... I certainly wouldn't.... and haven't!

 

I hope you find him!

 

In the meantime...continue dating, learning and growing. Introspection is good! So is educating yourself in an effort to understand yourself and your relationships.. so when the "right" man does come along...you will know how to recognize him!

 

Yes of course intense passion, chemistry, butterflies and sparks are great...but so are other qualities, and I would hate to see you pass over the "right" guy cause those crazy feelings of passion and lust weren't there from the getgo.

 

Sometimes those feelings come later...after dating a man a few times. Maybe you don't believe that but it's true. They have for me and many many other people too.

 

That's all we're saying Leigh. And BTW, I recommended a great book to you earlier... I hope you have can opportunity to read it! It helped me a lot! It's a great book!