sly_fly1 Posted March 15, 2015 Posted March 15, 2015 ok. well for a while now my gf seems to be stuck in this loop. it really sucks because she gets angry over little things everyday . she can never accept responsibility. instead everything is my fault. heres some examples. we lost eachother in walmart. instead of laughing about it . she started swearing at me n stormed out n left the full shopping cart. she got mad at me n freaked out because she went out drinking n i told her that i didnt want to pick her up. she got mad when i told her to save money that she does not have. n then she goes off to say i never buy her anything. she gets mad like this all the time. rejection seems to make her explode. like if i say no. do i really always have to say yes? we have a place thats under her name but i pay half. everytime shes mad she threatens to kick me out. the list goes on. the thing that pisses me off is whe she gets really mad n i back off. she starts appologizing. she will say im sorry for this n that. n ill try my hardest to not do this or that anymore. so i will forgive n get over it. then the very next day she will do all the exact same stuff she just apollogized for n said that she would not do. like get mad over stupid things. if i point out that she just told me she wouldnt do it anymore the day prior. she will get mad n say im bring up the past. her anger is getting out of control. its stressing me out. what should i do. is she bipolor?. is it normal for women to get mad at everything men do. it seems like she tries to find reasons to be mad on purpose. wtf is her problem
Gloria25 Posted March 15, 2015 Posted March 15, 2015 If I'm correct you said that this has been going on for "a while"? How long have you been dating? Has this been a recent change? Either she's been like this and now that he honeymoon period is over you're starting to take notice or something else is going on - like is she under stress or something? Is she on meds? Is there other stuff going on in the RL that is upsetting her, but she won't come out and say it - so she has bursts of anger?
Author sly_fly1 Posted March 15, 2015 Author Posted March 15, 2015 thanks for asking. we were together for 3 years . she left me for some one else. i took her back 6 months after. its been about 15 montgs since i took her back. soabout 4.5 yearrs total. it took about 9 months for things to get back to normal. she isnt at work because she had surgery so she has no money. but it seems like i pay for everything. i even gave her 400 yesterday. n everything i do doesnt seem good enough. like shes thankful for what i do one second. n then gos back to complaining about lil things. or things i dont do. and she sais that ive changed because imstarting to get sick of her bossing me around. so when i say no. like no im not buying you a shirt . i just gave yu 400 dollars to buy ur own stuff. she will give me attitude or silent treatment n walk away n so no its fine ill just do it myself. she triez to use anger n manipulation to get what she wants. but now its getting out of control. im starting tofeel like a slave whos always being punished for disobeying. rather then being treated like a bf
Gloria25 Posted March 15, 2015 Posted March 15, 2015 Well, I believe you are being taken advantage of. IMO, you are her "whipping boy" and "o'l faithful". People don't respect us unless we set boundaries. You took her back although she left you. You spend so much money on her. She hasn't earned none of your graciousness. So, she doesn't respect you and it shows in her daily interactions with you. Who cares if she apologizes. She does it again and again. Probably apologizes to manipulate you and keep you on the hook. IMO, time to initiate launch sequence....it won't get better unless you set boundaries. 2
Light Breeze Posted March 15, 2015 Posted March 15, 2015 OP, I was in your shoes and believe me when she knows that she can walk all over you, She'll either 1.) Leave you cold once she finds someone better or 2.) She'll cheat on you. Don't be a doormat, don't be afraid to be alone and walk away if she continues to treat you that way. If you don't change your attitude now, the above mentioned might happen. 3
bubbaganoosh Posted March 15, 2015 Posted March 15, 2015 thanks for asking. we were together for 3 years . she left me for some one else. i took her back 6 months after. There's your problem right there. You took her back and I got a feeling that you really put yourself out there and bared your soul to her and now she thinks that if you went that far, then she's got the upper hand. Piece of advice. Stop kissing her ass. Stop funding her every whim. Stop accepting her bad manners. Open your mouth and let her know that she crossed the line and she needs a change of attitude or next time she threatens to throw you out then do yourself a favor and leave. How's she supposed to pay for anything since she can't work............or now I'm starting to believe that she doesn't want to since your paying her way. Put a lock on your wallet and let her know that there's either some big time changes in the relationship or she can shove off and from what your describing, that wouldn't be a bad idea. 4
ascendotum Posted March 15, 2015 Posted March 15, 2015 OP, I was in your shoes and believe me when she knows that she can walk all over you, She'll either 1.) Leave you cold once she finds someone better or 2.) She'll cheat on you. Don't be a doormat, don't be afraid to be alone and walk away if she continues to treat you that way. If you don't change your attitude now, the above mentioned might happen. Yep. I agree ^ Its already happened once with her leaving him for someone else. I wonder why she returned...maybe the other guy got tired of her or wasn't going to commit to her. Your relationship is on the skids. Her constant moodiness and squabbling is her frustration that you are not the man she truly desires or has respect for. She might have come back to you, but maybe you were just her safety net. The good thing is she is just your gf and not your wife. You are not locked in. You have the power to find someone better for yourself before she likely pulls it on you down the line. Start giving her some of her own medicine back and show her your moody, pissed off attitude side. Viewing relationships like this they dont just change for the better, the person has to call it quits or stand up to other person and be prepared back it up with actions, like walking out or going out and doing their own thing and not reacting in appeasing manner in response to her angry outburst 2
Davey L Posted March 15, 2015 Posted March 15, 2015 There was a time my wife was like this. Later I learned she was having an affair. It seemed as though she wanted things to be bad at home so that she didn't have to feel guilty. I'm not saying that's the case here but keep your eyes open, there might be a guy she's interested in. And take a harder line with her. I know that it feels like doing so will cause more trouble and will push her away. But my experience is the opposite, she will respect a firm but fair approach. 2
SycamoreCircle Posted March 15, 2015 Posted March 15, 2015 $400 would go nicely towards the security on a place of your own. Leave her. She's bound to cheat on you again. All of the behavior you describe is the behavior of a cheater who is psyching themselves up to deceive the person they're with. You don't need that. You sound like you know how to treat people with decency and respect. Wouldn't you like to be with someone who really values you? This will be an important learning step for you---demarcating boundaries for your sense of respect and self-worth. Be bold. Be firm. Trust that you're strong enough. LoveShack will be there to give you support. 3
sandylee1 Posted March 15, 2015 Posted March 15, 2015 It's time to end this relationship. She's unstable and you will just keep getting used by her. Let her pay her own bills. I'm fact I think she knew she'd be out of work and came back to you for that very reason. You can either get tough and tell her this getting angry over tiny things stops or your done. You have to mean it. One more chance and It's over. Then block all forms of contact. She's treating you like that because you allow it.
d0nnivain Posted March 15, 2015 Posted March 15, 2015 sly_fly Ask yourself what are you getting out of this relationship? Being with her means you don't have to be alone but at what price? She is not very nice to you. Why are you sticking around to let her walk all over you? You know what you have to do. When you are ready, you will do it because she's just going to continue to take & take with ever giving anything back. One thing though, I can see why she got upset about you not picking her up after drinking. If I went out to have a drink & then couldn't drive, I would be mad if the person I relied on for a safe ride home changed his mind after I'd had 2-3 drinks & could no longer drive. If she got drunk, then called you, that is her problem. 1
deathandtaxes Posted March 15, 2015 Posted March 15, 2015 Congrats on dating a girl, and not a real woman!! Stick to your guns, don't apologize for HER blowing up and getting mad at petty ****.
No Limit Posted March 15, 2015 Posted March 15, 2015 Break up with her and get your own place. This relationship has been toxic for a while. Find someone who respects you, not who barely tolerates you. She's behaving like a 4 year old whose parents forgot to teach her some manners. 1
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