Karin2rinkashi Posted March 14, 2015 Posted March 14, 2015 So, i broke up with my GF. 8 month relationship, 1 month LD. Out of the blue! She didn't want it anymore. She started partying like crazy, socializing, giving up her life goals. Just the whole dynamic of her life... changed I just read HomeBrew's post about the GIGS Syndrome. My goodness, did that hit the notes perfectly. I wish i had read that post before but it all happened so quickly that i did not even have time to think. The break up took a month. I tried to reason her, i tried to tell her all that i could. I never begged her to stay but i REASONED AND REASONED AND REASONED until she was just upset after a few weeks. I never said that i am nothing without you, but i definitely told her that she is special in my life. Eventually we broke up.... and i went no contact for a few weeks. I then texted her. So i asked her if i could ask her one last question and she has to answer in Yes or No. There is no maybe.... Yes or a No. And that will be the last time we will talk. She said "Please don't.... what is it that you want to know so bad?" Why was she so nervous.... it never went through my head before but did she cheat on me? I asked her many time if there was someone else and she said no. But i asked her "Are you satisfied with your decision?" She said "So far i am.. I don't feel guilty for being happy anymore..." I didn't want to ask ANOTHER question "What is it that you do to make yourself happy? and that it makes you feel guilty too?" I don't even want to know.... I should have asked her if she cheated... :/ But then... i sent her an email to say EVERYTHING i wanted to... I said something along these lines... " I am not going to be your pet sheep until you find a bear to cuddle with... that is out of the questions. I know that you were messing around with C(a mutual friend, no sex) but i decided to ignore it. Because i knew that you liked attention but i thought maybe if i treat you REALLY well and really show you what it is to have a quality relationship then you will give up your attention seeking ways. In one month of moving there you gave up your life dream, your relationship, passed out because your drank like hell (unlike her), got a bloody eye because you threw up so hard another time (unlike her). Look at you where your life was before you left and where it is going now. You don't need a "good" note you need a reality check. But i will still miss the things that you used to do and the memories that we made. I don't really know what happened, even today. But if you are happy then that is all that matters for now. I will miss you. Bye! No reply, and no contact since then.... Was that email bad? I mean.... would she be pissed to read it? The last text she sent me before i sent that email she said "She doesn't want me to go through this pain. :(" Let me go and bang my head against the wall....
smellysocksuni Posted March 14, 2015 Posted March 14, 2015 Hi, I went through a very similar break up in January. The email, don't feel too bad about sending it - your emotions are all over the place and it's expected that you will do things like that. Regardless of whether you sent it or you didn't, her mind is already made up. From now, just don't contact her. It will be hard to resist, but just don't. There is nothing to gain from doing so. Good luck
ASV Posted March 14, 2015 Posted March 14, 2015 I wrote a final email too. I asked her to remain NC and don't break the rule if it wasn't for a reconciliation, and to try to find and love herself by her own in order to learn how to love instead of wandering around for the next disappointment. Also I wrote her a long paragraph the minutes after our break up telling her that I loved her so and I was actually thankful for both the good and bad times we shared together, for I learnt to live a bit more along these lines - and that I wished her happiness. Yeah, that was my pathetic self, but helped me to feel relieved and that's all it matters. So go ahead and don't feel any remorse. 1
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