ZiggyZoo Posted March 14, 2015 Posted March 14, 2015 I'm writing this because I've been kind of obsessing, I guess, for the last four days and maybe putting it down will help. Like the title says, social media, specifically stupid Facebook, has set me back a bit. I was to the point where I thought about my ex maybe twice a day, and was really OK with the relationship being over. Not ready to think about him with someone else, so maybe 85% where I want to be. Then Tuesday I get a call from a well-meaning mutual friend asking if everything with me and my ex is OK, since he noticed my ex has changed his Facebook status from "In A Relationship" to "It's Complicated". When he dumped me, I told a few people and went off Facebook entirely. I knew my ex still had that status, but hadn't checked in about 3 weeks. It sounds so stupid as I write it, to get hung up on something like this, which is part of the reason why I went off Facebook entirely. But I can't help wonder WTF my ex is thinking. Why didn't he put "single" or nothing at all as his status? I'm not holding on to any hope that it means that he isn't ready to let go oranything, but its in my thoughts. If anything, I guess it pisses me off more than anything. I mean, its not complicated at all, as*hole. You dumped me and I went NC. End of story. I hate social media right now, this never happened in the good old days. We had stuff to get worked up about, but not changing a damn relationship status...
gnick Posted March 14, 2015 Posted March 14, 2015 I ignore all of social media and have never took the time to even make a profile so all this unfriending and status stuff is a curiosity to me. It seems to me all that stuff does is to suck a lot of valuable time that could be better used for something else.sounds like you did the right thing. I don't know how you stop people from telling you about it though 5
Satu Posted March 14, 2015 Posted March 14, 2015 I deleted my Facebook account and have never missed it for a second. 8
ASV Posted March 14, 2015 Posted March 14, 2015 I agree with the above posters. I think if everyone deleted his/her social media, life would be peachy. Or less miserable, at least. Seriously. Why can't people learn to manage their feelings alone, enjoy loneliness and chew their own melancholy without the need of sharing it for a cheap price like a "like"? 7
Author ZiggyZoo Posted March 15, 2015 Author Posted March 15, 2015 It's just so much work to avoid your ex now. Before, all you had to do was not show up in the same places as them, not call them, and not answer the phone when they called you. Now, you have everyone and their aunt knowing your business and it takes a bunch of willpower and changing up the way you connect to and keep in touch with people to avoid pictures, up-to-date whereabouts, new relationships...I hate it. Plus, it makes it so easy to read meanings into every little gesture. I admit, I did it myself, with my ex just now. And I'm pissed for doing it! I'm not going on Facebook for a long while, and am making staying the hell away part of my standard NC. 3
Hopeful714 Posted March 15, 2015 Posted March 15, 2015 Back in my day if someone was interested or wanted to date you they actually had to grow some balls and walk up to you to talk face to face or pick up a telephone when they were still attached to a wall and actually sit there and have a conversation with you. When you broke up you had none of this b.s. people have to deal with now with "statuses", pictures in your face, likes, posts, tags, pokes,winks etc. you didn't need to be concerned with on line cheating, "secret texts", pornography site addictions, hook up sites, and how many other people your significant other was interacting with behind your back unless you were dating a real f-ing loser because it just wasn't socially acceptable as much as it is today. I never joined any social media. My friends are my real friends and I like to keep my business private. I have however have suffered from this so called phenomenon none the less. If only other people were like you and got rid of this crap that our friend zukerberg put out there I think more relationships would stand a chance these days. Fakebook, the old myface..As well as all the others and all this texting imo have ruined personal communications that can lead to real life interactions and genuine relationships. But ...what do I know........just ranting. 4
Author ZiggyZoo Posted March 16, 2015 Author Posted March 16, 2015 Back in my day if someone was interested or wanted to date you they actually had to grow some balls and walk up to you to talk face to face or pick up a telephone when they were still attached to a wall and actually sit there and have a conversation with you. When you broke up you had none of this b.s. people have to deal with now with "statuses", pictures in your face, likes, posts, tags, pokes,winks etc. you didn't need to be concerned with on line cheating, "secret texts", pornography site addictions, hook up sites, and how many other people your significant other was interacting with behind your back unless you were dating a real f-ing loser because it just wasn't socially acceptable as much as it is today. I never joined any social media. My friends are my real friends and I like to keep my business private. I have however have suffered from this so called phenomenon none the less. If only other people were like you and got rid of this crap that our friend zukerberg put out there I think more relationships would stand a chance these days. Fakebook, the old myface..As well as all the others and all this texting imo have ruined personal communications that can lead to real life interactions and genuine relationships. But ...what do I know........just ranting. This right here sums it up beautifully. It is way too easy to misread inflection and lose the meaning of a text. Or to cause hours of speculation about what exactly a certain text or message meant...instead of being able to just ask for clarification in an actual conversation. I'm done with the whole mess. I found out that my ex-husband was having an affair with someone he had met on Facebook, and my most recent ex dumped me in a Facebook message. Now, both of these relationships obviously had problems and would likely have ended anyway, but it would have been harder to do. And forced my recent ex to, as you said, grow some balls and tell me in person that it was over. You know what though? Makes it real easy to point to that lack of integrity and respect for me as a huge reason to not miss the jerk. So maybe there was one silver lining to the Facebook dumping after all... 4
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