kaikai Posted March 14, 2015 Posted March 14, 2015 only my second post here and have read through a lot of posts and it has really helped. Just seems so crazy that I am finding nc so hard considering I was the one that choose to do it. I know it's the right thing to do as the relationship really started to knock my confidence, but why is this so hard. I don't have many close people where I am living at the moment, which probably doesn't help. I literally am spending my time working then coming home to sleep. Today has been awful and I just don't know how to shake this feeling and I'm not ashamed to say that I have spent a lot of it crying.
NC-Thomas Posted March 14, 2015 Posted March 14, 2015 I know how you feel man, a lot of us do. I used to come home from work and just went to bed, everyday in and out after my GF broke up with me. A lack of friends. I lost my fulltime job, for a big part due to the break-up and me not being able to focus on my job anymore. Trust me, being unemployed is even worse. Try to keep focused on your work! Maybe you can join some clubs in the area? I know that moping around at home and spending too much time on the PC will affect you badly. You will only start thinking and hoping. Get a distraction. Also keep venting on LS.
Author kaikai Posted March 14, 2015 Author Posted March 14, 2015 I know how you feel man, a lot of us do. I used to come home from work and just went to bed, everyday in and out after my GF broke up with me. A lack of friends. I lost my fulltime job, for a big part due to the break-up and me not being able to focus on my job anymore. Trust me, being unemployed is even worse. Try to keep focused on your work! Maybe you can join some clubs in the area? I know that moping around at home and spending too much time on the PC will affect you badly. You will only start thinking and hoping. Get a distraction. Also keep venting on LS. thank you and yes I am looking into volunteering just honestly can't wait for these feelings to pass
Satu Posted March 14, 2015 Posted March 14, 2015 You don't need to feel ashamed about crying. It's very healing. NC is a tool for healing. It allows you to focus on your own wellbeing without distractions, and protects you from being hurt again by the person who has already hurt you. It takes a lot of willpower in the early stages, but anyone can do it if they really want to. Here is something I wrote for myself and put into practice. Some of it might be useful for you. Take care of yourself to the best of your ability. You matter. Your wellbeing matters. ********************************************************** 1. Recognise that you're still in the crisis phase - you are very hurt, disappointed and angry, but the intensity of your feelings will reduce. 2. Don't suppress your feelings, or tell yourself that you shouldn't be feeling what you're feeling - that never helps. 3. Externalise your feelings by writing them down, talking to a trustworthy person, or using any other mode of expression that feels right. 4. Remind yourself frequently that you can and will have a good life without this person. 5. Tell yourself frequently that you can and will love again. 6. Take care of your body: Eat enough and eat healthily. Drink enough water. Thats 1.5 litres for a female. Get a bit more rest than you think you need. Do some easy exercise - nothing too strenuous. If you feel physically unwell go to see your doctor. 7. Do not allow yourself to become socially isolated or withdrawn. 8. Establish Total No Contact with your ex. No contact directly, indirectly, or by social media. 9. Keep up with all your responsibilities and things you have to do. 10. Do not use alcohol or drugs in an attempt to self-medicate. 11. Post here as often as you want to. People here want to help.
Author kaikai Posted March 14, 2015 Author Posted March 14, 2015 You don't need to feel ashamed about crying. It's very healing. NC is a tool for healing. It allows you to focus on your own wellbeing without distractions, and protects you from being hurt again by the person who has already hurt you. It takes a lot of willpower in the early stages, but anyone can do it if they really want to. Here is something I wrote for myself and put into practice. Some of it might be useful for you. Take care of yourself to the best of your ability. You matter. Your wellbeing matters. ********************************************************** 1. Recognise that you're still in the crisis phase - you are very hurt, disappointed and angry, but the intensity of your feelings will reduce. 2. Don't suppress your feelings, or tell yourself that you shouldn't be feeling what you're feeling - that never helps. 3. Externalise your feelings by writing them down, talking to a trustworthy person, or using any other mode of expression that feels right. 4. Remind yourself frequently that you can and will have a good life without this person. 5. Tell yourself frequently that you can and will love again. 6. Take care of your body: Eat enough and eat healthily. Drink enough water. Thats 1.5 litres for a female. Get a bit more rest than you think you need. Do some easy exercise - nothing too strenuous. If you feel physically unwell go to see your doctor. 7. Do not allow yourself to become socially isolated or withdrawn. 8. Establish Total No Contact with your ex. No contact directly, indirectly, or by social media. 9. Keep up with all your responsibilities and things you have to do. 10. Do not use alcohol or drugs in an attempt to self-medicate. 11. Post here as often as you want to. People here want to help. thank you I have printed that out and put my bedside cabinet very helpful words
Satu Posted March 14, 2015 Posted March 14, 2015 thank you I have printed that out and put my bedside cabinet very helpful words Keep posting here as a source of strength. People will understand what you're going through and will offer support.
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