geronimo Posted March 14, 2015 Posted March 14, 2015 Its been about 4 months since my breakup. http://www.loveshack.org/forums/breaking-up-reconciliation-coping/breaks-breaking-up/515631-overthinking-kills my whole story is posted here but long story short, we were eachothers first love, started off in HS, she was 15 i was 17. Broke up after 5 years of dating, we're now 20 and 22. She used the excuse that she's breaking up with me due to religion/family but found out she had been talking to another guy and had started dating him a few weeks after we broke up. I have been in NC ever since, she also did tell me that we need to stop talking cuz she needs time to get over me cuz she still loves me alot but can't anymore cuz of family. I have been getting over her but there are still days where I miss her so much. I just wish I could erase her from my mind but she doesn't seem to leave, I still think about her all the time. I was really bad in the beginning of our breakup I used to stalk her like crazy on Social Media but I have stopped doing that for a few months now and have deleted her off everything. But today I'm having a bad day, I did a bit of stalking but didn't find anything, I know its bad but I think I still know her email and I shouldn't go on it. I was really tempted to do it but I stopped myself and am posting on here instead. I dont know why I can't give her up. I think the reason why I wanted to stalk her was cuz I wana know whats going on, her new bf lives on campus at a uni a few hours from here and I feel like she's over there visiting him. I know it shouldn't bother me anymore since they have been dating for a while and whether hes a rebound or GIGS or w/e she is no longer mine. It really hurts alot because I thought I would spend the rest of my life with this girl, she literally meant the world to me. I think the problem I'm having is because we were both eachother's first loves, it took us a while to get sexual with eachother and she was the type of girl that said she wanted to wait till marriage to have sex and I respected that. Therefore throughout the 5 years we never had sex but we did do other things. I know its all in my head but I keep thinking that she is probably getting sexually active with her new bf and since he is the same religion as her she may even have sex with him. Also if she is going away to see him on campus the likely hood of that is alot stronger than if he was living at home. I know it shouldn't bother me, she left me for him and she is no longer my gf but I can't help it. I feel like a ****ing idiot for still wanting her back but theres just something about her and us that was special and I can't seem to give that up. I feel so pathetic for still loving her and wanting her back even though she has moved on and doesn't seem to care about me or my life or anything. Just ****s me up knowing that we promised eachother so many things and said we would always be a huge part in eachothers lives no matter what, and the funny thing is she was the one who would cry and tell me that she can never live without me, and she always wants me in her life and everything but now she left and doesn't even want to look back.
Ruby65 Posted March 14, 2015 Posted March 14, 2015 I dont know why I can't give her up. You can't give her up because it's only been four months. Your next relationship will be every bit as incredible -- if not more so. But you haven't been through a breakup yet, so you haven't experienced getting over someone and moving on to something even better. Your ex was special, but she wasn't unique. Your next love will be every bit as strong... if not stronger! Missing her doesn't mean you were meant to be.... or that someday you'll get back together. It only means that you still miss her. In time, you'll miss her less. Try to have some faith in yourself. Much bigger and better things are coming your way -- your future is so bright! Good for you for sticking with No Contact! Give yourself time... you're healing right on schedule. 1
Author geronimo Posted March 14, 2015 Author Posted March 14, 2015 Thanks Ruby, I really hope you're right. Yea I know missing her doesn't mean she'll come back or we'll get back together again but I can't help but hope that one day she does. But I'm trying to keep my head up and look for better things ahead. I just can't believe she jumped into another relationship right away after saying she loves me and everything even when we broke up.
Satu Posted March 14, 2015 Posted March 14, 2015 Allow yourself to think about her without telling yourself you shouldn't. Allow yourself to feel your feelings. Gradually, over time, the thoughts and feelings will fade. If you resist them they just keep coming back. So be who you are, where you are, in your own process. Avoid snooping. It never brings anything good.
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