katiegrl Posted March 14, 2015 Posted March 14, 2015 Look not liking rejection is called being HUMAN. Why is it only woman supposed to be bothered by rejection? A man is supposed to always be emotionally stable which I believe is a bunch of bull. Didn't say that dude. Feeling rejected is perfectly normal... and human like you said. What's at issue here is how a person reacts and behaves in response to rejection. And sending nasty messages in response thereto is rude, obnoxious and immature.
Author smg15 Posted March 14, 2015 Author Posted March 14, 2015 I just think he"s getting burned out with OLD, that's all. Reminds me of telemarketers who start yelling and belittling me over the phone when I tell them no thanks, not interested. They're probably very nice people, but after rejection after rejection, I can understand why it would "get" to a person after awhile and cause bitterness and frustration. That's when it's time to get off the site and give it a rest. And to the telemarketers who yell at me? You need to find a new profession! lol They are yelling because they have a quota to meet each day I used to reach my quota by 12pm which means the rest of the day until 5pm I was able to chill lol
BlackOpsZombieGirl Posted March 14, 2015 Posted March 14, 2015 I've been noticing a lot of women-bashing threads lately...that were written by insecure, self-entitled, bitter and/or frustrated men. And what I wonder is - besides these men venting and getting this off of their chests - what good are these types of threads doing for the community? What kind of solution are they looking for? Unless...they only write these types of threads to vent and to possibly incite defensive responses from us women here? In response to the OP (not sure what gender you are), some of us try to be as polite as possible when a guy takes the time to initiate contact with us by us writing back, "Thanks for writing/Thank you/Thanks for taking the time to write to me/Good luck out there in the dating jungle/etc., etc." In my opinion, there's no need to ever be rude to anyone on OLD. We're all on there basically looking for the same thing: a relationship that eventually leads to love/marriage or a long term companionship. In my opinion, if a guy makes the effort to reach out to me (barring the "hi" or "how are you" messages), I'm going to respond to him, even if I'm not interested in pursuing anything further with him. . 2
Author smg15 Posted March 14, 2015 Author Posted March 14, 2015 You write messages to men? I thought you were a guy, OP? . That was a TYPO, I meant every girl
Author smg15 Posted March 14, 2015 Author Posted March 14, 2015 I've been noticing a lot of women-bashing threads lately...that were written by insecure, self-entitled, bitter and/or frustrated men. And what I wonder is - besides these men venting and getting this off of their chests - what good are these types of threads doing for the community? What kind of solution are they looking for? Unless...they only write these types of threads to vent and to possibly incite defensive responses from us women here? In response to the OP (not sure what gender you are), some of us try to be as polite as possible when a guy takes the time to initiate contact with us by us writing back, "Thanks for writing/Thank you/Thanks for taking the time to write to me/Good luck out there in the dating jungle/etc., etc." In my opinion, there's no need to ever be rude to anyone on OLD. We're all on there basically looking for the same thing: a relationship that eventually leads to love/marriage or a long term companionship. In my opinion, if a guy makes the effort to reach out to me (barring the "hi" or "how are you" messages), I'm going to respond to him, even if I'm not interested in pursuing anything further with him. . Well Im here to tell you as a guy that responding if you are not interested is not necessary
normal person Posted March 14, 2015 Posted March 14, 2015 I think it's nice to give a polite rejection/disqualification to anyone who put actual thought into the message or put themselves out there a little bit. I think girls especially might be somewhat reluctant to message guys to begin with, so in my mind acknowledging and rewarding their effort helps foster an environment where women get more comfortable doing it. Regardless of gender though, if someone obviously took the time to write you something nice, I think the least you can do is acknowledge it. If they take issue with it (like the OP), their attitude isn't going to get them too far anyways. I also think it's nice to reject the circumstances and not the person. "Hi, thanks so much for your message but I see you live in X which is bit far from me. I'm just trying to keep it local for time and simplicity's sake. Best of luck finding a more mobile guy!" or "Hi, thanks so much for the message but I'm taking a bit of a break right now. Best of luck moving forward!" - A lot of times she'll say "Thanks for responding, that was very nice, best of luck to you too!" - A lot of times she she'll explain how she doesn't actually live that far away and commutes to the city daily for work, but she understands and best of luck anyways. So I don't know OP, the amount of thanks I've gotten for polite rejections or disqualifications makes me think that it's a welcomed action. 1
katiegrl Posted March 14, 2015 Posted March 14, 2015 They are yelling because they have a quota to meet each day I used to reach my quota by 12pm which means the rest of the day until 5pm I was able to chill lol No excuse to be yelling and berrating... if they can't handle the stress of having to meet a tight deadline, like I said they're in the WRONG profession! But good for you for meeting that quota so early. Join well done.. But dude seriously... you really need to start taking some responsibility for how *you* choose to react to things...like rejection. It's okay to feel rejected, or insecure or anxious or any other emotion. What's not okay is acting like a crazed psycho in response thereto. Not saying you do, but our own actions and reactions to things that happen to us in life are on us! Our responsible to control.
fitnessfan365 Posted March 14, 2015 Posted March 14, 2015 But of course fitness fan.... u my numero uno in cyber world! Right back at yah cutie.
road Posted March 14, 2015 Posted March 14, 2015 So a woman does not respond or just says thank you. So, is she suppose to say: eeeeewww not even if you were the last guy available to ever date, I'll die a virgin first. Get real online dating is no different then approaching women in real life. Whether they give off an abrupt look of disdain and say get lost loser or make up excuse that she is waiting for her date or she already has a BF. They aren't going to let you come close enough to even catch a whiff of there perfume. The problem is that you are hiding behind the no response and thank you response, is to mask that you are being upset that you got shot down even before you could work your skills at selling yourself to them as BF material. Believe me there is nothing that you could of said to these women for you to have a shot at being their BF.
katiegrl Posted March 14, 2015 Posted March 14, 2015 No excuse to be yelling and berrating... if they can't handle the stress of having to meet a tight deadline, like I said they're in the WRONG profession! But good for you for meeting that quota so early. Join well done.. But dude seriously... you really need to start taking some responsibility for how *you* choose to react to things...like rejection. It's okay to feel rejected, or insecure or anxious or any other emotion. What's not okay is acting like a crazed psycho in response thereto. Not saying you do, but our own actions and reactions to things that happen to us in life are on us! Our responsible to control. ^^JOB well done... couldn't edit it.
Bobbi7 Posted March 14, 2015 Posted March 14, 2015 Maybe those women are trolling for compliments or something. Because when I used OLD, and got a message from some guy I wasn't interested in, I would just ignore and block. No need for me to respond with a "thanks." They are a complete stranger, so why should I bother replying back or giving some explanation. I never told a guy I wasn't interested in and said, "thanks."
Anela Posted March 14, 2015 Posted March 14, 2015 Look not liking rejection is called being HUMAN. Why is it only woman supposed to be bothered by rejection? A man is supposed to always be emotionally stable which I believe is a bunch of bull. A woman is also supposed to be emotionally stable, otherwise she risks being labelled anything from a damsel in distress, to a bunny boiler (eesh). I've received a polite response to questions before, and they didn't show further interest - I appreciated that they took the time to respond at all, since a lot of men won't, if they aren't interested. If you're rude to them, you only prove that they were smart to pass on you in the first place. You're only hurting yourself, in the long run. 1
Author smg15 Posted March 14, 2015 Author Posted March 14, 2015 I think it's nice to give a polite rejection/disqualification to anyone who put actual thought into the message or put themselves out there a little bit. I think girls especially might be somewhat reluctant to message guys to begin with, so in my mind acknowledging and rewarding their effort helps foster an environment where women get more comfortable doing it. Regardless of gender though, if someone obviously took the time to write you something nice, I think the least you can do is acknowledge it. If they take issue with it (like the OP), their attitude isn't going to get them too far anyways. I also think it's nice to reject the circumstances and not the person. "Hi, thanks so much for your message but I see you live in X which is bit far from me. I'm just trying to keep it local for time and simplicity's sake. Best of luck finding a more mobile guy!" or "Hi, thanks so much for the message but I'm taking a bit of a break right now. Best of luck moving forward!" - A lot of times she'll say "Thanks for responding, that was very nice, best of luck to you too!" - A lot of times she she'll explain how she doesn't actually live that far away and commutes to the city daily for work, but she understands and best of luck anyways. So I don't know OP, the amount of thanks I've gotten for polite rejections or disqualifications makes me think that it's a welcomed action. I don't need my action rewarded
Author smg15 Posted March 14, 2015 Author Posted March 14, 2015 So a woman does not respond or just says thank you. So, is she suppose to say: eeeeewww not even if you were the last guy available to ever date, I'll die a virgin first. Get real online dating is no different then approaching women in real life. Whether they give off an abrupt look of disdain and say get lost loser or make up excuse that she is waiting for her date or she already has a BF. They aren't going to let you come close enough to even catch a whiff of there perfume. The problem is that you are hiding behind the no response and thank you response, is to mask that you are being upset that you got shot down even before you could work your skills at selling yourself to them as BF material. Believe me there is nothing that you could of said to these women for you to have a shot at being their BF. If she receives a message from a guy who is not her type she should 1. Delete the message 2. Block the guy from sending her anymore messages
Author smg15 Posted March 14, 2015 Author Posted March 14, 2015 Maybe those women are trolling for compliments or something. Because when I used OLD, and got a message from some guy I wasn't interested in, I would just ignore and block. No need for me to respond with a "thanks." They are a complete stranger, so why should I bother replying back or giving some explanation. I never told a guy I wasn't interested in and said, "thanks." You are my POSTER of the day Bobbi;)
Imported Posted March 14, 2015 Posted March 14, 2015 If she receives a message from a guy who is not her type she should 1. Delete the message 2. Block the guy from sending her anymore messages OP, just don't send messages to any girls. Problem solved. World doesn't work according to you, get over it if you're gonna try to interact with other people in it. 2
katiegrl Posted March 14, 2015 Posted March 14, 2015 I don't need my action rewarded I have an idea. When sending girls your first message, at the end you could say "if you're interested, let me know, would love to meet. If not, no problem, good luck with your search." If a guy wrote that, and I wasn't interested, I would be more inclined to just ignore rather than reply back saying the standard "thanks but no thanks." There would be no need to reply back .... as it's obvious by writing what he did, he gets that no response means no interest. And isn't taking it personally. IDK just a thought... 2
normal person Posted March 14, 2015 Posted March 14, 2015 (edited) I don't need my action rewarded That's fine. The crux of this whole thing is that not every person is like you. You can't be bothered with a common courtesy, fine. To other people it's nice to see or encouraging. The answer to your question "why is it so hard..." is because in their mind, they're doing the right thing and they don't expect the recipient to be so unnecessarily bitter. Here's the thing: if you get mad at people for thanking you, you're making your OLD life harder. The more acerbic you are in the face of someone doing you a courtesy, the less highly that person is to think of OLD, or guys who do OLD, or whatever. She'll be more inclined to think "I actually thanked a guy and he yelled at me. I'm just going to delete my profile and quit this because guys here are psycho." Look at women who say guys are rude on OLD, obviously it doesn't do much to help the cause of guys. When you're a jerk to someone online, you're doing your part to reinforce the stigma of the process and the reputation of people who use it. Now think about what it'd be like if women didn't have to deal with this kind of crap. Then more women might be more open to using it without the hesitation and caution that they do now. You're shooting yourself, and all guys, in the foot when you do this kind of thing. So if your next thread is "Why is OLD so hard for me?" then you'll have the start of an explanation. Edited March 14, 2015 by normal person 2
fitnessfan365 Posted March 14, 2015 Posted March 14, 2015 I have an idea. When sending girls your first message, at the end you could say "if you're interested, let me know, would love to meet. If not, no problem, good luck with your search.". The problem with this though is that a guy is saying he wants to meet a woman he's never even talked to. This comes off like he lacks standards. I think a better way to say it would be - Feel free to check out my profile and if something clicks, we'll talk. Otherwise, good luck to you. 1
katiegrl Posted March 14, 2015 Posted March 14, 2015 The problem with this though is that a guy is saying he wants to meet a woman he's never even talked to. This comes off like he lacks standards. I think a better way to say it would be - Feel free to check out my profile and if something clicks, we'll talk. Otherwise, good luck to you. I agree the way you worded it is much better....smg go with that!
BlackOpsZombieGirl Posted March 14, 2015 Posted March 14, 2015 That was a TYPO, I meant every girl... Well Im here to tell you as a guy that responding if you are not interested is not necessary Thanks for clearing up which gender you are. Well, it may not be necessary for women to reply to YOU if they're not interested, but you can't speak for ALL guys. I've had some guys thank me for replying to them and saying that they're so used to being ignored. For some reason, after reading this response from you, I think I actually understand why you're frustrated and feel bitter when women try to be polite by sending a "thanks but no thanks" response - because it's a DIRECT rejection. You'd rather them iggy you and block you because, that way, they're INdirectly rejecting you. Here's a nickel's worth of free advice for you, OP: If a polite woman sends you a "Thanks but no thanks" type of message, just DELETE IT and MOVE ON to the next one. No need to feel this fed up about it that you actually become pissed off enough to create a thread about it. Life isn't fair. Men AND women get rejected, everyday, all the time. Just suck it up and deal, like the rest of us do. .
joet Posted March 14, 2015 Posted March 14, 2015 Is blocking messages from men you are not interested in not an option? Anyways, some men may just want feedback on why their approach wasn't welcomed and may use this information to improve their technique.
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