LookAtThisPOst Posted March 14, 2015 Posted March 14, 2015 This was kind of funny, but saw a post by someone who said he spoke in mixed company of co-workers that saw one of their other co-workers on an online dating site. They were kind of confused as to WHY even BE on a dating sit if you're living in New York City? What really makes me wonder is---16 million people in New York City--and the guy has to come on a "dating site" to find a woman. That's what our girls at work said---why is he looking around in a site--why not go outside to one of the 6,000 clubs and bars in New York City--or 215 parks--or 600 libraries and museums--OR--- 21,000 Starbucks on every corner. This is OUR question. Instead of crying about RUDE--tell us what you want and why a woman OUT OF THAT BIG CITY!! When we are at work--and we park this Rescue Truck at the curb--we get tons of people that stop and talk and have fun with us. Why can't this guy find a girl?? GO OUTSIDE AND FIND THEM!!
MidwestUSA Posted March 14, 2015 Posted March 14, 2015 Time. And time costs money. I work 50 hours a week. I spend another heaven knows how many hours getting ready and getting there and back. I have a home to keep up, and pets to tend to. What's easier for me, sitting at a computer with a menu of men in front of me, or trying to go out solo every night and on the weekends? I'm in a metro area of 2.9 million people. There are transportation costs, I have to eat (at some point), shop, and I have family and neighborhood obligations. I don't have time to drive around and 'browse' the city and surrounding areas. A dating site is named that for a reason, hopefully the folks on there are looking to date. In theory, you should find like minded people. Didn't you just speculate that any woman you might run into at a local fair was probably taken? Why would NYC be any different? Look at the members here from NYC who are having trouble. Can your next username be 'theSpeculator'? 8
normal person Posted March 14, 2015 Posted March 14, 2015 I live in New York and OLD provides me with tons of opportunities to meet people I wouldn't have met otherwise. The people having that conversation fail to mention that meeting people in real life really limits you to only the people in your immediate vicinity at that time. OLD is like a giant bar that single people are always in. Doing OLD doesn't mean you have to stop looking for people in person either, it's a totally supplementary tool that increases your options exponentially. I don't see any reason why people wouldn't do it. 4
Author LookAtThisPOst Posted March 14, 2015 Author Posted March 14, 2015 "Neighborhood obligations"?? WTF is that? You talking neighborhood watch? Not sure why anyone would want to involve themselves in their own neighborhood. 1
lana-banana Posted March 14, 2015 Posted March 14, 2015 Right, because every woman you see in the subway/bus/sidewalk/park/restaurant/bar/pub/gym is totally available. And so are the men. And we all just love being approached by complete strangers. And we definitely get dressed to the nines every day just in case Prince Charming finds us in the canned vegetables aisle. I live in a big city and most of my friends have found their partners through online dating and online social groups like Yelp and Meetup. Seriously, I don't think most people go out in public in hopes of finding a partner. Most of us are just waiting until we can go home, put on sweatpants and watch Empire. 3
d0nnivain Posted March 14, 2015 Posted March 14, 2015 Most of my NYC friends & family say the same things: time & money. Some also like the fact that they are usually sober when they look at profiles. They may have had a drink & had their inhibitions lowered meeting people out. Finally many said it was a way to meet guys not in their neighborhood. Most people either go out where they work or where they live. It's a big change to go somewhere else. For example my cousin lives & works on the Upper East side. His GF works in Times Square & lives in the Flat Iron District. More times then not if they go out in any other neighborhood it's because DH & I came in from out of town & dragged them there.
MidwestUSA Posted March 14, 2015 Posted March 14, 2015 Not sure why anyone would want to involve themselves in their own neighborhood. Property values? Glad you got a good laugh out of that. 2
Anela Posted March 14, 2015 Posted March 14, 2015 "Neighborhood obligations"?? WTF is that? You talking neighborhood watch? Not sure why anyone would want to involve themselves in their own neighborhood. To make friends, or to be of help when they can be. 6
MidwestUSA Posted March 14, 2015 Posted March 14, 2015 To make friends, or to be of help when they can be. Apparently, not everyone is so inclined. Maybe it's a Midwestern thing. We're sofa king friendly! 4
Author LookAtThisPOst Posted March 14, 2015 Author Posted March 14, 2015 Apparently, not everyone is so inclined. Maybe it's a Midwestern thing. We're sofa king friendly! Guess, it is a regional thing. Where I live, there aren't even opportunities to do anything with the neighborhood. I usually leave the neighborhood to get out and socialize.
Starship Posted March 14, 2015 Posted March 14, 2015 Some people are looking for 'a partner'. In contrast, I was looking for my very special guy. I live in a city of over a million. I was on Match for a couple weeks and found him. We found each other. I am not interested in meeting 'a guy'. I want a special guy. I wanted him to be Athletic College educated Interested in the outdoors Interested in dancing Articulate Between 50 and 60 Found him.
MidwestUSA Posted March 14, 2015 Posted March 14, 2015 Guess, it is a regional thing. Where I live, there aren't even opportunities to do anything with the neighborhood. I usually leave the neighborhood to get out and socialize. Sounds like you need to move out of the back water then. Haven't you determined that's part of your problem? 1
Woggle Posted March 14, 2015 Posted March 14, 2015 When I was living in NYC and single I could go for a walk around the block and get a date so I don't get it either. I met so many women in Washington Square Park. That being said it is not the same city today that it was back then.
Bobbi7 Posted March 14, 2015 Posted March 14, 2015 If l lived in NYC, I wouldn't use OLD. Isn't NYC known for single people in their 30's? I would just need to do some research on where the single, educated, rich, men hang out at and should be easy.
scorpiogirl Posted March 15, 2015 Posted March 15, 2015 Sounds like you need to move out of the back water then. Haven't you determined that's part of your problem? But Midwest, haven't YOU determined that the whole world needs to bend to the will and opinion of TheSpeculator? Everything else is just laughable, including helping out your neighbours. stop trying to be logical, please. I get a kick out of how everyone is wrong wrong wrong. 3
Author LookAtThisPOst Posted March 15, 2015 Author Posted March 15, 2015 But Midwest, haven't YOU determined that the whole world needs to bend to the will and opinion of TheSpeculator? Everything else is just laughable, including helping out your neighbours. stop trying to be logical, please. I get a kick out of how everyone is wrong wrong wrong. Believe me, I'm sure you can squeeze in a date between "Helping thy neighbor" lol My point being, it's just an excuse. If l lived in NYC, I wouldn't use OLD. Isn't NYC known for single people in their 30's? I would just need to do some research on where the single, educated, rich, men hang out at and should be easy. Exactly, just boggles the mind how people STILL don't have time when they are bumping into singles in their own highly concentrated city where there are singles galore
xxoo Posted March 15, 2015 Posted March 15, 2015 Believe me, I'm sure you can squeeze in a date between "Helping thy neighbor" lol My point being, it's just an excuse. If they're on OLD, they obviously have time for a date. That doesn't mean they have time to attend events searching for a date. Especially after a certain age, this may be true. It's a matter of priorities. We all get the same number of hours in the day, and as we get older priorities of time shift. Job, family, community, etc often come before socializing to find a mate. 2
loveweary11 Posted March 15, 2015 Posted March 15, 2015 Some of us have busy lives. OLD allows you to do your dating stuff while waiting for an appointment, riding in an elevator, waiting for a cab, etc. Instead of devoting hours to wandering around hoping to meet a single girl I find attractive, I focus on work all day and by the end of the day have a super hottie lined up to grab a drink with when I'm free. It's a modern miracle, actually.
MidwestUSA Posted March 15, 2015 Posted March 15, 2015 But Midwest, haven't YOU determined that the whole world needs to bend to the will and opinion of TheSpeculator? Everything else is just laughable, including helping out your neighbours. stop trying to be logical, please. Thanks for putting me in my place, I probably needed that. A crusty old bat who's happily married has no business telling others how to look for love. xxoo, take note, darling. 5
normal person Posted March 15, 2015 Posted March 15, 2015 Exactly, just boggles the mind how people STILL don't have time when they are bumping into singles in their own highly concentrated city where there are singles galore Look, if the existence of this website and thousands upon thousands of posts are any indication: meeting someone you like is hard no matter where you are. It's not necessarily that people don't have time. Maybe they just don't have the circumstances. For example: I work from home and most days, especially in the winter, I just don't cross paths with a lot of people even though I live in one of the most foot-trafficked places on the planet. I've met plenty of teachers or other girls who work with only women and don't come across a lot of guys. New York has it's own regional challenges. Lots of people are always looking for something better on the assumption that it could be right around the corner -- I'm guilty of this myself. Saying "there are people everywhere" is not akin to "you're meeting single people everywhere and striking up conversations out of the blue and then forming lasting relationships with them." There are so many factors you aren't considering -- like how odd it is to start a conversation with a stranger while you're walking down the street, and the stigma of approaching people, especially women, randomly in public. For all these reasons I never approach women, I only choose from the ones that come to me. And in real life it seems to happen at bars and never out on the street. Now I can meet plenty of girls at bars like this as I often do, but since I can't nor want to be at a bar all the time, why wouldn't I do online dating too? I get to meet plenty of people I never would've been in the same bar with and there's no downside to it. 5
thefooloftheyear Posted March 15, 2015 Posted March 15, 2015 I dont see an issue.... The bigger the city the more of a "face in the crowd" the person becomes...Also, especially in a city like NY..People generally walk with a purpose, and dont pay much attention to the noise around them...I would think some type of flirty discourse doesnt happen as much as one might think... If someone feels comfortable in that arrangement(OlD) good for them...I dont see where geographics have anything to do with it... TFY 6
organizedchaos Posted March 15, 2015 Posted March 15, 2015 (edited) This was kind of funny, but saw a post by someone who said he spoke in mixed company of co-workers that saw one of their other co-workers on an online dating site. They were kind of confused as to WHY even BE on a dating sit if you're living in New York City? What really makes me wonder is---16 million people in New York City--and the guy has to come on a "dating site" to find a woman. That's what our girls at work said---why is he looking around in a site--why not go outside to one of the 6,000 clubs and bars in New York City--or 215 parks--or 600 libraries and museums--OR--- 21,000 Starbucks on every corner. This is OUR question. Instead of crying about RUDE--tell us what you want and why a woman OUT OF THAT BIG CITY!! When we are at work--and we park this Rescue Truck at the curb--we get tons of people that stop and talk and have fun with us. Why can't this guy find a girl?? GO OUTSIDE AND FIND THEM!! To meet someone outside of your social circle or neighborhood. I have the most amazing woman I've ever been with and would have never met her in this city of 10+ million. We have no common friends, live in different parts of the city, and don't work in the same industry. So it helped me find the woman I'm in love with who I would otherwise have never met. Edited March 15, 2015 by organizedchaos 2
ASG Posted March 15, 2015 Posted March 15, 2015 To meet someone outside of your social circle or neighborhood. I have the most amazing woman I've ever been with and would have never met her in this city of 10+ million. We have no common friends, live in different parts of the city, and don't work in the same industry. So it helped me find the woman I'm in love with who I would otherwise have never met. That's the thing... When I look at my dating history, considering I work in the entertainment industry, everyone I've dated since I started working, at 18, has been connected to my job. A Tv director, a couple of musicians, a couple of actors, techies like me... It's great, in a way, as you have something in common straight away, but sometimes I wish I could meet someone that had nothing to do with it. It doesn't happen very often in real life, since most of my friends end up being connected to my job as well...
neowulf Posted March 15, 2015 Posted March 15, 2015 This was kind of funny, but saw a post by someone who said he spoke in mixed company of co-workers that saw one of their other co-workers on an online dating site. They were kind of confused as to WHY even BE on a dating sit if you're living in New York City? What really makes me wonder is---16 million people in New York City--and the guy has to come on a "dating site" to find a woman. That's what our girls at work said---why is he looking around in a site--why not go outside to one of the 6,000 clubs and bars in New York City--or 215 parks--or 600 libraries and museums--OR--- 21,000 Starbucks on every corner. This is OUR question. Instead of crying about RUDE--tell us what you want and why a woman OUT OF THAT BIG CITY!! When we are at work--and we park this Rescue Truck at the curb--we get tons of people that stop and talk and have fun with us. Why can't this guy find a girl?? GO OUTSIDE AND FIND THEM!! Oh I love this question; 1. Because being introverted makes approaching random women extremely stressful and exhausting. It never becomes less stressful. It's how I'm wired, nothing to do with practice. 2. Because we've removed ALL indicators that a woman is a) single and b) open to being approached. Unless you're of above average attractiveness, you're not going to see women checking out out. I'm a pretty average looking guy and I swear I'm flat out invisible sometimes. 3. Because you can waste a hell of a lot of time / money / energy; Oh she's cute.. no wait, she hates animals. Oh, she's kinda attractive, ah.. she smokes. Oh, we seem to have a lot of in common... wait, no, she's hyper religious. Online dating provides filters to try and get in the ball park of who you're looking for in a mate. 4. A lot of women seriously don't like being approached these days. The more attractive they are, they more likely they're fed up with being hit on. You're more likely to receive a hostile response (unless again, you're unusually good looking) Basically, if you want to go fishing.. you go where the fish are. The pond is online dating. 1
kendahke Posted March 16, 2015 Posted March 16, 2015 Exactly, just boggles the mind how people STILL don't have time when they are bumping into singles in their own highly concentrated city where there are singles galore but what age group are you talking about specifically? Because the younger someone is, the more inclined they are to blow their paycheck being out and about looking for love. The older one is, the less inclined they are to squander resources and time when there is a far more efficient way to get that job done. 2
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