ApexTitanium Posted March 14, 2015 Posted March 14, 2015 Its been a little over two months since we broke up, 5.5 years together and we grew distant. My heart keeps telling me that I love her, that I shouldn't give up and let her go and to fight for the one you love. Its pulling my mind in two directions, I'm stuck between wanting to fight and wanting to let go. My head tells me that she left you, doesn't love you, doesn't want to be with you. Yet I have the feelings from my heart telling me otherwise. That if she loved me once she can do it again, all I have to do is show her that I care and that I love her and she will fall back in love with me. We have chatted since breakup. She told me she hasent let go, that she still cares about me and is scared if I drop out of her life completely. I told her I'm planning a move out of state and she said her heart broke when she heard this. Could it all be lies? Or games? How the hell do you win this battle with yourself? Its on my mind constantly....it just won't go away.
Author ApexTitanium Posted March 14, 2015 Author Posted March 14, 2015 I understand that I shouldn't be feeling this way due to the circumstances and its better things ended now rather than later. Its just hard to get rid of this feeling and I want it to just go away.
mightycpa Posted March 14, 2015 Posted March 14, 2015 I understand that I shouldn't be feeling this way due to the circumstances and its better things ended now rather than later. Its just hard to get rid of this feeling and I want it to just go away. Actually, it is very normal for you to feel this way. It's just that the conflict between what you feel and what you know to be true leaves you feeling confused and unbalanced. I'm not sure how you broke up, but after 5.5 years, that is a step not to be taken lightly. I think each of you needs to decide whether that was the right thing to do, and whether you're growing in different directions. I take it you're still talking, which means you haven't really said goodbye yet. Goodbye is important, so you might want to go do that. When you do, you might want to tell her that while you were encouraged when she said her heart broke because you were leaving, that you were disappointed with her failure to act to cure that broken heart, and that her failure to do anything about it told you everything you needed to know about whether she's the one for you or not. At least that's what it tells me. Good luck in the new locale. 1
spiderowl Posted March 14, 2015 Posted March 14, 2015 If you go by her actions not what she says, your heart might be able to understand better. She has left and yet some of the things she's saying are leaving you confused. She probably does want you in her life but not as her partner and lover. If you go by her actions, you know she has left and is not seeking to come back. It take time to disentangle mentally from another person that we've formed a bond with. The strands are still there but out of date. Your unconscious mind hasn't caught up yet. If you focus on the facts and not the 'chaff' of conversations, it will help you to unravel things a bit better. Sorry this has happened and I know how painful it is. You can allow yourself to give up on her as a mate and let yourself consider the possibility of meeting someone new who will be there for you. It's all different stages and you will reach this point eventually. 1
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