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Can anyone give me insight into what boundaries not to cross in a relationship?

Lolita_Sky

By Lolita_Sky
in Breaks and Breaking Up

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Ruby65 Established Member

Ruby65

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Trust me -- blocking him is a HUGE step.

 

Block him on your phone.

 

Block him on your email.

 

Then block him on EVERY site and app you use. If you use a site or app that doesn't allow you to block -- then disable that site or app for a few months.

 

Block him and his mother both.

darkbloom Established Member

darkbloom

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This dude basically manipulated you to cover up his guilt. I've been in the same situation as you. He's insecure and it is very cruel to blame you and your 'boundaries' for why he is behaving like an *******. The best satisfaction you will get is not responding to his texts. It will drive him nuts, and you will end up on top. Over him and on to the next guy who won't treat you like this.

Stercrazy Established Member

Stercrazy

Posted
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That's a true statement. If there is nothing to hide then there's nothing to hide. My last ex went through my phone after a night of drinking.....I passed out and she checked out my phone. The next day she felt guilty and told me. I kind of laughed and asked her if she found anything. She said "no" but she was upset I never mentioned her in my texts.......lesson learned.

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Lolita_Sky Established Member

Lolita_Sky

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That's a true statement. If there is nothing to hide then there's nothing to hide. My last ex went through my phone after a night of drinking.....I passed out and she checked out my phone. The next day she felt guilty and told me. I kind of laughed and asked her if she found anything. She said "no" but she was upset I never mentioned her in my texts.......lesson learned.

 

That's what I told him when we were together. I never had anything to hide and so i was open to him going through my phone. He never bothered to ask though. Cause he knew I wasn't a cheater. Plus the fact that he had things in his phone he didn't want me to see.

Edited by Lolita_Sky
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Lolita_Sky Established Member

Lolita_Sky

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This dude basically manipulated you to cover up his guilt. I've been in the same situation as you. He's insecure and it is very cruel to blame you and your 'boundaries' for why he is behaving like an *******. The best satisfaction you will get is not responding to his texts. It will drive him nuts, and you will end up on top. Over him and on to the next guy who won't treat you like this.

 

Yup that's how I see it. His thoughts are going to be in a whirlwind wondering how I "got over" him so fast.

Hopeful714 Established Member

Hopeful714

Posted
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hate to say it...but maybe not. These types typically just move on to the next phone number and reel in whoever takes the bait for the day.

 

Just be glad it's not you.

 

Pls block tho....They are so into the game it's most certain he may try again.

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Lolita_Sky Established Member

Lolita_Sky

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hate to say it...but maybe not. These types typically just move on to the next phone number and reel in whoever takes the bait for the day.

 

Just be glad it's not you.

 

Pls block tho....They are so into the game it's most certain he may try again.

 

I honestly don't know. He's never seen me behave like this. Who knows though. He surprised me by contacting me today. So you never know. He may or may not try again.

spiderowl Established Member

spiderowl

Posted
Posted (edited)
So are you going to block him?

 

I'm sure the OP will do that if it's what she feels the time is right. While it might be the best way to deal with an ex who you need to get over, there is a stage before that where you try to make sense of things.

 

The guy 'needing space' is more of a red flag than wanting to speak to his female friends in private. I have a couple of male friends. I have known them a long time. I wouldn't want anyone overhearing conversations. It's just my private life. It doesn't mean I have dated them, am dating them or will ever do so. It's just basic privacy.

Edited by spiderowl
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Lolita_Sky Established Member

Lolita_Sky

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I'm sure the OP will do that if it's what she feels the time is right. While it might be the best way to deal with an ex who you need to get over, there is a stage before that where you try to make sense of things.

 

The guy 'needing space' is more of a red flag than wanting to speak to his female friends in private. I have a couple of male friends. I have known them a long time. I wouldn't want anyone overhearing conversations. It's just my private life. It doesn't mean I have dated them, am dating them or will ever do so. It's just basic privacy.

 

Overhearing is just that... you heard something in passing. It's not like I was trying to eavesdrop. If he has nothing to hide why get off the phone? If it was just a friend he wouldn't have felt the need to "hide" his phone out of view when I came into his apartment.

 

Yeah they're all "red flag" indicators.

Hopeful714 Established Member

Hopeful714

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Posted

Your seeing the truth about this now ......and good for you.

 

You mentioned earlier that when you met, you were in a vulnerable state.

 

It's amazing how people with bad intentions can pick up on this stuff and sniff out those who are easy prey to suck into their games and lies. But they do. I guess that's why they call them predators.

 

Seriously, to quote many....be glad you figured this out now. You dodged a bullet!

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