Karin2rinkashi Posted March 14, 2015 Posted March 14, 2015 I am writing this with a heavy heart tonight. I just got out of an 8 month long relationship. 1 and half Month LD. What is happening to the institution of relationship and marriage? People always seem to have a plan B. I have said this before on this forum "Am i weird in this society or is this society weird around me?" I was raised in a Eastern culture where relationships are taken seriously. Well, not everyone does, but you are raised to understand that there is no plan Bs as long as Plan A has a breadth left in it. But, in Western culture people just jump ship on the first sight of opportunity. I have recently graduate, i understand what it means to be opportunistic. But, that does not mean that you just dump everything you built for so many months and move on. And even that you do after you make so many promises and say so many bold things. I am not saying this because of this one experience. Look around you! the place is filled with examples where people JUST left. Because the drive got too long, or the calls got too short. Fight for it! Make it work! Do SOMETHING? Where is the desire? Where is the perseverance? When you say "I love you!" to someone... What does it mean? What do most of us see it as? Lets analyze ourselves.... I said it 5 months into our relationship, and i was very hesitant. She told me that she was ready to say it 2 months in. For me, that right there should have raised a few flags (I understand that love doesn't depend on time. It is timeless, and dimensionless. You can feel love for someone who is dead... who doesn't even exist) But that is now my point.... My point is that why are we getting so insensitive to this phrase "I love you!" Don't say it too soon or too much. Don't even think about it... Lets set a level for it. What should one be willing to do for someone they tell that they love? We as humans have to restore some level of commitment, emotion, some sacred value to this phrase. Otherwise.... all we have is this "I love you! And i can't live without you." and 2 days later " I don't want you to go through this pain. I am sorry. bye" Should i change for this reliable society, or should i wait for some miracle? 2
Author Karin2rinkashi Posted March 14, 2015 Author Posted March 14, 2015 And i think i understand the reason for this attitude. We live in a society where everything is irreplaceable. There is always a new cellphone, there is always a new car, a new shirt, or a new pen, or a new toy. No one tries to fix ANYTHING anymore. Once you see the small scratch in it, it is done and dusted. Even if it is all good, there is a newer model out, so we want that. I know that i can find another girl, a lot prettier, and a lot more intelligent. That is called world, this globe we live on. You will always find someone better, someone new. But what about the soul you committed to, what about the person who loved you so much? I am not saying that we can control our love.... but we can control ourselves, our minds, our attitudes towards it. Give it a fighting chance and there is always a reason to stay (As long as there is no MAJOR reason to leave... Like Domestic Violence or something..) I mean...... is there anyone else who thinks this way? Who thinks that we are just going towards a complete collapse of these institutions.... 2
kolleamm Posted March 14, 2015 Posted March 14, 2015 People tend to think we live in this safe haven bubble of a world. Society is still a jungle and probably always will be. Someone can tell you they love you one moment and would do anything to be with you and the next moment their sleeping with someone behind your back (I speak from experience). I fully understand what you are going through though it's never fun. Let all of your emotions run their course and with time you will get over it.
LookAtThisPOst Posted March 14, 2015 Posted March 14, 2015 (edited) Karin, I can connect with you on this. The Eastern culture is to be respected as holding fast to more traditional values than the West and it's sad that relationships are so disposable these days. People are too selfish to work at it or like a car like a child with a new toy that gets tired of it, they toss it away for something newer. Always on the look out for something better of course, which never comes because there's no such thing as "better" as each person you attempt to get involved with will always have some kind of flaws/imperfections. BIG time agree with you on the reliability of even people/friends in general. You can never get anyone to commit to any event because they are holding out for something better (event-wise). When you ask someone if they plan on going to a certain event, even if they RSVP'ed "Yes" for it their response is, "Depends on what is coming up this weekend", THIS statement tells you that if nothing else better/funner comes around...that they'll stick to THAT event...otherwise they'll bail. It's the fickleness that turns me off. I know of people that would RSVP Yes to an event only to say, "I dunno if I'm going, still keeping my options open." I am writing this with a heavy heart tonight. I just got out of an 8 month long relationship. 1 and half Month LD. What is happening to the institution of relationship and marriage? People always seem to have a plan B. I have said this before on this forum "Am i weird in this society or is this society weird around me?" I was raised in a Eastern culture where relationships are taken seriously. Well, not everyone does, but you are raised to understand that there is no plan Bs as long as Plan A has a breadth left in it. But, in Western culture people just jump ship on the first sight of opportunity. I have recently graduate, i understand what it means to be opportunistic. But, that does not mean that you just dump everything you built for so many months and move on. And even that you do after you make so many promises and say so many bold things. I am not saying this because of this one experience. Look around you! the place is filled with examples where people JUST left. Because the drive got too long, or the calls got too short. Fight for it! Make it work! Do SOMETHING? Where is the desire? Where is the perseverance? When you say "I love you!" to someone... What does it mean? What do most of us see it as? Lets analyze ourselves.... I said it 5 months into our relationship, and i was very hesitant. She told me that she was ready to say it 2 months in. For me, that right there should have raised a few flags (I understand that love doesn't depend on time. It is timeless, and dimensionless. You can feel love for someone who is dead... who doesn't even exist) But that is now my point.... My point is that why are we getting so insensitive to this phrase "I love you!" Don't say it too soon or too much. Don't even think about it... Lets set a level for it. What should one be willing to do for someone they tell that they love? We as humans have to restore some level of commitment, emotion, some sacred value to this phrase. Otherwise.... all we have is this "I love you! And i can't live without you." and 2 days later " I don't want you to go through this pain. I am sorry. bye" Should i change for this reliable society, or should i wait for some miracle? Edited March 14, 2015 by LookAtThisPOst
Nikki Sahagin Posted March 14, 2015 Posted March 14, 2015 Fully agree. A loyal, faithful, reliable person is rare.
Recommended Posts