markthemango Posted March 14, 2015 Posted March 14, 2015 i see posts like this all the time have you begged or pleaded for someone back? how did it go? when did you realize you were just pushing them away?
Auspecial Posted March 14, 2015 Posted March 14, 2015 I can honestly say I have never done this. I have asked, and I have regrouped to try a different way. But I have never begged.
Ruby65 Posted March 14, 2015 Posted March 14, 2015 I think most people beg and plead after a breakup. Especially when it seems to come out of the blue. The problem is, dumpers have usually checked out emotionally *before* the breakup even happens.... so all that begging and pleading usually falls on deaf ears. People have different barometers determining how long they'll try and negotiate their way back into the relationship after a breakup. Some people don't stop until they're threatened with restraining orders! Others are able to walk away after a few conversations or emails. But as I've said, it usually only pushes the dumper farther away, as their mind is usually made up before ending the relationship. Why do you ask -- are you in a situation where you're contemplating begging and pleading?
erklat Posted March 14, 2015 Posted March 14, 2015 You don't contemplate about that. Maybe about grand gestures you to, but groveling simply happens when you're distressed.
AIJ Posted March 14, 2015 Posted March 14, 2015 Nope, never begged or pleaded. Just simply asked if we could meet up and perhaps sort it out. She refused, I accepted that and went on my merry way. 1
guest569 Posted March 14, 2015 Posted March 14, 2015 i see posts like this all the time have you begged or pleaded for someone back? how did it go? when did you realize you were just pushing them away? Absolutely. Hm, I didn't push him away, he was long gone. No, actually he did seem to consider hanging in there and trying to work things out. But what a stupid idea, if someone is thinking of leaving me, it's basically over at that point. I want no part in it. It was so devastating to me that I had no choice but to try to convince him to work things out. I didn't think I would survive the alternative. Sounds very dramatic and silly now but that's how it was.
Author markthemango Posted March 14, 2015 Author Posted March 14, 2015 I think most people beg and plead after a breakup. Especially when it seems to come out of the blue. The problem is, dumpers have usually checked out emotionally *before* the breakup even happens.... so all that begging and pleading usually falls on deaf ears. People have different barometers determining how long they'll try and negotiate their way back into the relationship after a breakup. Some people don't stop until they're threatened with restraining orders! Others are able to walk away after a few conversations or emails. But as I've said, it usually only pushes the dumper farther away, as their mind is usually made up before ending the relationship. Why do you ask -- are you in a situation where you're contemplating begging and pleading? no. people alway ssay walk away with your head high but ive wondered if they have tried to beg and plead before
Michelle ma Belle Posted March 14, 2015 Posted March 14, 2015 (edited) Never. I would never beg or plead for someone to rethink their decision to leave me. What's the point? So I can walk around feeling even more insecure than ever about our relationship? So I can wait around for the other shoe to drop? No thank you. If someone really wants out, I'll show them the door. That's not to say I wouldn't want to talk about what happened or why they feel the need to end things but it would be for MY benefit if only so I could grow from that experience and get some closure. And that's not to say I wouldn't be wounded by the breakup (I'm not a cold fish!) if it was someone I really cared about, because I would be and like most dumpees, I'd need time to heal from it. Otherwise it's THEIR loss. I have far too much self respect and dignity to chase after someone who isn't in it with both feet. Edited March 14, 2015 by Michelle ma Belle 2
NC-Thomas Posted March 14, 2015 Posted March 14, 2015 Never. I would never beg or plead for someone to rethink their decision to leave me. What's the point? So I can walk around feeling even more insecure than ever about our relationship? So I can wait around for the other shoe to drop? No thank you. If someone really wants out, I'll show them the door. That's not to say I wouldn't want to talk about what happened or why they feel the need to end things but it would be for MY benefit if only so I could grow from that experience and get some closure. And that's not to say I wouldn't be wounded by the breakup (I'm not a cold fish!) if it was someone I really cared about, because I would be and like most dumpees, I'd need time to heal from it. Otherwise it's THEIR loss. I have far too much self respect and dignity to chase after someone who isn't in it with both feet. I admire your vision and self-respect. I have begged and pleaded and I feel dreadful about it, but I have forgiven myself. In the end it taught me that there is really nothing you can change once someone checked out emotionally. So with my last ex, I just went on my merry way and haven't contacted her in 2/3 weeks for now. Although I tried to make her reconsider by showing the positive sides. But I refuse to give her even more power by letting myself down. Now that she porbably has somebody else, my though is just: "take it or leave it bitch". I know im a good and interesting person with some real love inside, but it's only meant for the one that knows how to value it! 1
gnick Posted March 14, 2015 Posted March 14, 2015 I like to beat claw beg to get back together and demand answers for months untill the woman I was with can't stand the mere thought of me and wouldn't want me back if we were the last 2 people on earth. Only then can I be happy
ApexTitanium Posted March 14, 2015 Posted March 14, 2015 Yeah, I lowered myself to that level in my last breakup. Did it for 3 weeks about 4 times then gave up. Told her how I felt and left it at that. She was ice cold....funny thing is earlier in the R she begged me when we would break up. And I always took her back because I loved her and I knew we could work through it. What R doesn't have some issues? Guess I wasn't worth the effort to fix it and work together.
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