SunnySide0418 Posted March 13, 2015 Posted March 13, 2015 after you've met someone online? I'm very new to dating.. Went out once Weds. Had a great time. Had a nice kiss at the end of the date. He texted yesterday about something random and today nothing. he has not asked me out again. I am just going with the flow but curious how you guys play it if you're interested?
d0nnivain Posted March 13, 2015 Posted March 13, 2015 I'm a woman but with OLD it varies. Most people are worried about seeming too pushy clingy & he's probably not willing to give up a weekend date night for a woman he just met.
fitnessfan365 Posted March 14, 2015 Posted March 14, 2015 Depends on the guy. If I have a great time with a kiss close, I'll shoot her a quick text the next day saying "Thanks for a great night!" If she responds, I'll trade 2-3 texts with her. Then I close it out saying that I'll call her soon. After that I usually like to give it 2-3 days of radio silence. This gives her time to do her own thing, think about me, and keeps it low pressured. Then I'll call, plan the next date, and repeat. After three weeks of once a week dates, she usually starts reaching out more to keep in touch and I plan more dates. 1
deathandtaxes Posted March 14, 2015 Posted March 14, 2015 Some guys need hints! Something like 'we should do this again!'. Or ask him out for the second date. if you like him enough, what have you got to lose?
Gary S Posted March 14, 2015 Posted March 14, 2015 If he's not setting up at least one date a week with you, it probably won't go anywhere. 1
fitnessfan365 Posted March 14, 2015 Posted March 14, 2015 Some guys need hints! Something like 'we should do this again!'. Or ask him out for the second date. if you like him enough, what have you got to lose? This is why you should always go for a kiss if you're attracted to a woman. She'll either let you kiss her or she'll cheek you. That tells you how to proceed. No need for guessing games or expecting her to plan dates after that.LOL
katiegrl Posted March 14, 2015 Posted March 14, 2015 I'm a woman but with OLD it varies. Most people are worried about seeming too pushy clingy & he's probably not willing to give up a weekend date night for a woman he just met. I think if he had been enamored with her and felt that "spark," he would be!
BluEyeL Posted March 14, 2015 Posted March 14, 2015 In my experience, guys who were really interested, asked for the next date at the end of the current one. Those who gave me a date and then just texted some, eventually faded within a short time. Sometimes I'd eventually get a second, or even a third date, but no more than that.
Author SunnySide0418 Posted March 14, 2015 Author Posted March 14, 2015 Some guys need hints! Something like 'we should do this again!'. Or ask him out for the second date. if you like him enough, what have you got to lose? No way will I ask him out for the second date! If he's interested he knows where to find me. I will only initiate dates once something more concrete is established but until then I expect the guy to pursue me. I also think he may be concerned about coming off as desperate as that was discussed during the date. He was speaking generally about dating .. Time will tell. Meanwhile, my options are open.
Gary S Posted March 14, 2015 Posted March 14, 2015 ^^^^That's exactly how you should play it, sunnyside, very good.
katiegrl Posted March 14, 2015 Posted March 14, 2015 Some guys need hints! Something like 'we should do this again!'. Or ask him out for the second date. if you like him enough, what have you got to lose? Newsflash: Asking him out again or saying "we should do this again" are NOT hints. That's a direct hit! Even I wouldn't do that after only one meet. After a few dates and you both know this is something special that you both mutually wish to explore...okay. But not now after only one meet. sunny side, be patient and let it play out. Don't text or call. You're a cool, idependant chick who has a life. Let us know WHEN you hear from him! I am betting after the weekend, early next week....
bu2002 Posted March 14, 2015 Posted March 14, 2015 It's clear both of you are interested. He wouldn't have texted the next day if he wasn't. Honestly, his communication with you is likely more about logistics than anything else. I would guess he will get in touch no later than Sunday night about getting together next weekend. For the second date, he may prefer a weekend instead of a weeknight. So between now and then it will just be open lines of communication. He doesn't want to ask for the date 8 or 9 days in advance.
fitnessfan365 Posted March 14, 2015 Posted March 14, 2015 In my experience, guys who were really interested, asked for the next date at the end of the current one. Those who gave me a date and then just texted some, eventually faded within a short time. Sometimes I'd eventually get a second, or even a third date, but no more than that. This SCREAMS desperation when a guy does that though. I would personally never put a woman on the spot like that. After all, this is a woman I just met. So I show my initial interest by kissing her goodnight. Then I follow up with a quick text the next day, and then call her in 2-3 days to ask her out again. In the beginning, people need time to process. Basically demanding a second date on the spot says that you're worried you'll lose her if you don't lock her down. It shows more confidence if you believe she'll say yes again when you ask her out in a few days.
katiegrl Posted March 14, 2015 Posted March 14, 2015 This SCREAMS desperation when a guy does that though. I would personally never put a woman on the spot like that. After all, this is a woman I just met. So I show my initial interest by kissing her goodnight. Then I follow up with a quick text the next day, and then call her in 2-3 days to ask her out again. In the beginning, people need time to process. Basically demanding a second date on the spot says that you're worried you'll lose her if you don't lock her down. It shows more confidence if you believe she'll say yes again when you ask her out in a few days. ^^Agree with you ff.... best to let things (you, the date) "marinate" in her head awhile. Yours too!! Follow up in a few days....
Mrin Posted March 14, 2015 Posted March 14, 2015 (edited) In my experience, guys who were really interested, asked for the next date at the end of the current one. Those who gave me a date and then just texted some, eventually faded within a short time. Sometimes I'd eventually get a second, or even a third date, but no more than that. This SCREAMS desperation when a guy does that though. I disagree. Setting up the next date at the end of the current date was a policy of mine if I was into a lady. I've been told that they really appreciated how decisive I was and that such a practice was uncommon. That they wished all men would do the same. So it always worked out for me. I think it all depends on how you handle yourself and whether or not your reading her correctly. Obviously, no matter how into someone you are, if it isn't reciprocal you're just barking up the wrong tree. However, it probably is also a cultural thing. Edit: It is sort of like sales. You ask the for the sale when you are in front of the customer. Not two or three days after the customer has had some time to marinate on it. Or if you want another analogy... this marination period is like throwing the football (in american football). When you throw it, three things can happen, and two of them are bad. Same thing here. She will: 1) talk her self down from you 2) be distracted by another guy 3) be turned off and made to feel insecure by the uncertainty or 4) fantasize about you. So 3 out of the 4 are bad. Edited March 14, 2015 by Mrin
Author SunnySide0418 Posted March 17, 2015 Author Posted March 17, 2015 OK, so he finally asked me out for tonight. We're going for an early dinner. Early because of my babysitter issue. Not sure how this would work out if we continued to see each other considering he works 11-7AM! We'll see how it goes!
haribogumsnickers Posted March 17, 2015 Posted March 17, 2015 Dont overthink and see this as typical. Hit him back up if you like him. You make the move. Hes probably just waiting for you. Show him you can make a bad guy good for the weekend. And if he disses you that you're really a nightmare dressed like a daydream.
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