BrotherAaron Posted April 10, 2005 Posted April 10, 2005 Argh... it's always something new... My ex, who lives across the courtyard in my dorm, left me a month ago or so to date the guy who lives five doors down from me. They are constantly around, I see them all of the time, and it's been the hardest thing to ignore and move on. Recently she's even been hanging out with her new boyfriend in the other room in our "dorm suite" - it's not my room, but it shares my bathroom that leads into my room. So, she hangs out just one thin wall away... and apparently has been using this to clandestinely eavesdrop into my conversations. Her new BF also sits in there, with his friends (all guys that used to be my friends as well) and listens to my conversations. Today she even sent me a text message about something I said to my best friend when I woke up from a dream where I was still with her because she was pregnant (ugh). I consider this to be a terrible tesspass on my privacy. I cannot fathom that there would be a group of people sitting next door listening to me tell my good friends about why exactly I am hurt, or angry (as the case has been lately). She says I'm "talking ****" because she's heard some mean things I've said when I was venting when I see them together on the way to my room. It's not her business what I tell my friends, and she has no right to listen to me. I'm still very hurt about being cheated on, about her leaving me for this guy, about her sleeping with this guy, and about seeing her every day with him. I had moved on pretty well, but every time I stop being so upset they take it as a cue to show me something new that I don't want to see or tell me something that I dont want to hear. She has surrounded herself by people who have convinced her that I'm a jerk, and lately has been angry and vindictive. I want to forget about her and let her mind her own business... but when I have to push past her and her new boyfriend to get down the stairs, it's hard enough. When they sit in the room next to me (or maybe even my own bathroom) and listen to my conversations, that's beyond my patience. I can't figure out how to stop caring about her and what she does when I see it all the time, and when she finds a way to practically bring it into my bedroom and make me feel like I have literally nowhere I can go and get away from her. It drives me crazy that I can't sit in my own bedroom and say something without the possibility that might be listening... I cannot go on like that. If moving was an option, I'd be gone in a second. Should I say something to her? Should I say something to my suitemate (who I don't talk to in light of his friendship and support to the man who stole my girl)? Can I be expected to ignore this too? I already have to ignore hearing them in his room as I walk to my own (and no I can't avoid this), seeing them stand outside my window making out, and now using my bathroom and listening to my conversations! What's next... are they going to start coming into my room through the bathroom and having sex on my bed, and you guys will advise me to just wash the stains of my sheets and keep my head up because getting mad would be giving them what they want?
Grinning Maniac Posted April 10, 2005 Posted April 10, 2005 Aaron, You really need to kick this guys ass. I know that's not the popular opinion but people seem to have been stuffing b.s. in your ears around here and in some cases, sticking up for your whore ex and her new psycho bf (ahem moi ). These two are deliberately ****ing with your way of life and you have done NOTHING to deserve it. This is completely ridiculous. The next time this guy starts something, go ahead and play his game. Ruin his sh*t and then maybe he'll stop trying to act hard around you either flexing as you pass or grabbing your ex's jugs in plain view, or whatever the douche has done this week. This fellow is obviously not too bright, so perhaps he'll follow the role of the schoolyard bully who immediately backs down after his prey fights back. The guy is deserving of some sense knocked into him, I'm sorry. I know everyone is going to bitch and moan, but he does. If the lot of you are STILL saying this guy deserves the Ghandi approach at this point, you're nuts. I could *maybe* understand you taking that position in the last thread, but it is now pretty clear who is being the prick in this situation, wouldn't you say? This guy's gathering together with the man's former friends and treating his private life like a reality show. How ****ed up is it that his own home isn't even a place he can feel at ease in? If the Gruesome Twosome aren't 69'ing each other outside of Aaron's window, he has to deal with Cumbrain(new bf) and his dumbass buddies beating off to his phone conversations through a wall? I would've drawn the line even sooner in your shoes, I imagine. So Aaron...just drop this guy. No threats. No locking horns and evil eyes. Just walk up with a smile...and punch him in the throat. Barring that, if you have any skill with photomanipulation you could always put this guy's head in a few scenes of gay porn[or something else equally embarassing], add an amusing caption and then plaster them all over campus. Same for your ex girl if you like. In fact, I'd be *happy* to help you with if you decide to go with that route. I'm pretty damn good with Photoshop and as you may have guessed..not a very nice guy. Pardon the cliche expression, but this chump needs a few spoonfuls of Shut-The-****-Up. Take care. -GM
dibdab Posted April 10, 2005 Posted April 10, 2005 Man i am sorry to hear about all the troubles you are having, but i don't think confrontation is a good idea personally, even though everything they are doing is childish, that is one nasty girl to be doing these things to you. The best thing to do is ignore them and maybe hang out elsewhere to avoid them (i know you shouldn't have to as it is your space). By resorting to violence you are lowering yourself to there level, and you are obviously a better man than that. He probably wants you to try and fight him, so don't give him the satisfaction, he is a total jerk and not worth getting in trouble for and like you say you will be out of there soon enough and won't ever have to see them again, just hang on to that thought. I know how you feel as my girl left me for a mutual friend and it hurts like hell.
mixwell Posted April 10, 2005 Posted April 10, 2005 Seriously Aaron I suggested just avoiding them but seriously now I am thinking this guy seriously needs his face kicked in !!! Honestly if I lived by you I'd back you up and beat the shiz outta this douche bag myself.. This guy has gone way past the line !! I mean taking your girl is bad enough ( and that alone deserves and arse kicking) but flaunting it and also invading your privacy.. seriously Id beat the living shiz outta this guy if I were you. Im not saying to do it, but if it were me Id pound his F ing face in !! He need a reality check. And your ex needs to get the hardest bltch slap I have ever thought of.. i would pay some girl to slap the shiz outa my ex if she acted the way your ex is acting... Soo freakin childish they both are acting.. They need to be put back in line !! I cannot believe they are doing this to you.. In the first place if any of my guys friends took my ex, that would have croseed my line and I would have beat some ass a long time ago !! I really don't know what to tell you man !! Maybe just tough it out but if you were the get physical I wouldnt blame you one bit and like I said, i'd back you up 100% if I lived near by and thats for reals man !! Sorry you have to go through this man !! Its just horrible !! ! Try to take it easy homie !! Peace
Craig Posted April 10, 2005 Posted April 10, 2005 Aaron, it looks like you are being harassed. If you start kicking butt there's no telling when or where it will stop and you would have to be prepared to finish your schooling by correspondence while dealing with Bubba's (your cell husband) s***. You have options that don't include physical violence or illegal acts. You can google harassment in your state, you could call the cops and tell them you are being harassed, you could tell your school, you could call an attorney to find out what your options are, you may be able to get a restraining order that prohibits the harassing conduct, etc. Your best option is to stop talking about the ex and anyone connected with her, close your blinds, put in some ear plugs and study. Anyone that says you should get physical with anyone isn't your friend.
LucreziaBorgia Posted April 10, 2005 Posted April 10, 2005 People like your ex and her new "man" would take nothing but the greatest pleasure in having you arrested for assault. While pounding his face into the ground might bring a great deal of satisfaction - the consequences would likely be as drastic as a vindictive bitch of an ex girlfriend can make them. She could screw you with your school, with your dorm assignment, with the police, paying any medical bills, having restraining orders filed against you, etc - she could embellish the story and really make your life a living hell. It sounds like its part of her plan anyway. Is there any way you can talk to someone in the student life department about it? You may not get to pound this guy into gravy like you want just yet, but you can certainly use official channels to try to run him out that way. Continue to file complaints and complain to whomever you need to. Find out what legal ground you have to stand on - and what punishments are generally dealt to students who threaten and harass others. It will piss this guy off to no end, since this way - you get to screw him to the wall and he can't do anything about it. Play it passive, use your legal recourses, make him come after you (and he will, eventually), and then destroy him. If he comes after you physically defend yourself as brutally as possible - and then have him arrested for every charge you can think of. If the harassment continues, file restraining orders against them both. Ass pounding may seem like the more 'manly' thing to do here - but trust me, there's nothing manly about beating someone's ass and losing everything for it. Make this guy lose it instead. He'll slip up eventually - and when he does, mop the floor with his ass.
Ty Posted April 10, 2005 Posted April 10, 2005 well.... its hard to stop caring.. but you have to. Don't let her have the upper hand on this. I found out the more you talk about them. the more its hard to get over them. Just stop talking about her. Focus your attention on something/someone else. Its not like you would actually want her back after she has been with that other guy, would you? Wheres your dignity? If you see her just give her a little head nod and a half smile and keep on truckin'. People want what they can't have.
billybadass36 Posted April 11, 2005 Posted April 11, 2005 I did this in undergrad once to a particularly foul ex-gf: Take a dump in a shoebox, tape it shut. Mail it to your ex-gf. She'll think she's got a care package from someone and be all excited to open it. Surprise! Only problem is she'll know it came from you.
NiCoLe20 Posted April 11, 2005 Posted April 11, 2005 see if you can switch ur room to another location... ''outta sight, outta mind''
Mz. Pixie Posted April 11, 2005 Posted April 11, 2005 Now, I agreed that they could be hanging out in the hall or whatever and it wasn't your business but this crosses the line! I'm with Lucrecia- file complaints or go and INSIST they move you to another dorm. They are trying to drive you crazy it sounds like. I'm sorry you're going through this. To be mean you could subscribe to a gay porn magazine in his name and have it sent to his dorm room.
XBGoofBall Posted April 18, 2005 Posted April 18, 2005 It's one thing for your ex to toy with your heart, but to f*** with your head constantly is going to far! It's messing up your sanity even though you don't realize it and is going to be a real issue with trust in future relationships for awhile. Punch this jerk new boyfriend in the head before you punch into your new dorm at the mental ward because your brain is all fried up. Save yourself the paranoia and later trips to the shrink in life for more pressing issues. Confront this D*** and set him and his new found friends straight. You say that his friends used to be your friends. I say they apparently had different reasons of being your friend than you thought. Don't you think its ironic that as soon as she moves in with him they move with her. They are obviously waiting for the right opportunity to take advantage of this Trick when she starts mind boggling the NBfriend. She is tripping you out so she isn't found out, that's how ho's do it. Real women out there are a little more professional acting on breakups and at most times will stay around and be a good friend, not a vindictive Biotch. Lose the shackels and live your life.
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