fitnessfan365 Posted March 13, 2015 Posted March 13, 2015 The growing trend of women constantly worrying about being used for sex is disturbing. I know that society has tried to condition men to act like women and deny they have a dick, but I refuse to censor myself. If two people have a strong sexual attraction and are involved, they should be able to communicate openly about it. I mean I get that people have baggage they deal with and they don't want to repeat past mistakes. But being extremely insecure and implying all a guy wants is sex anytime he expresses desire, gets old extremely fast. Having "relationship phobia" is the fastest way to drive a well rounded guy out of your life.
Mrin Posted March 13, 2015 Posted March 13, 2015 Um dude, this isn't a growing trend. This is a universal constant... But that being said - I take umbrage with your insinuation that this is in some way emasculating. Hardly. Just be an alpha gentleman, pick women who have compatible goals, and conduct yourself appropriately. 2
Author fitnessfan365 Posted March 13, 2015 Author Posted March 13, 2015 Um dude, this isn't a growing trend. This is a universal constant... But that being said - I take umbrage with your insinuation that this is in some way emasculating. Hardly. Just be an alpha gentleman, pick women who have compatible goals, and conduct yourself appropriately. Haha.. True about it being universal. However, ever since I got involved with online dating it seems to be magnified by ten fold. BTW - I think you took what I said the wrong way. Obviously you select women that have what you want and don't settle for a bad situation. But I was talking more in general terms of how society has tried to condition men to think that being a sexual being is a bad thing.
Maleficent Posted March 13, 2015 Posted March 13, 2015 Well, when one person expects a relationship and the other one is being deceitful about it in order to get laid is a ****ty ****ty feeling for the person who is being deceived so that's probably why most women are trying to avoid it. Also, considering women are still being judged negatively based on their number of sexual partners, it's understandable that a lot of women are hoping to keep their number of partner low for that reason and are trying to avoid 'getting used for sex'. But I agree there is nothing wrong with two adults enjoying their sexuality as long as everyone is honest about their intentions. 2
Starship Posted March 13, 2015 Posted March 13, 2015 You should be more independent and confident. Stop worrying about some trend that you perceive as 'reality'. Not to take it so far to call you delusional but your so called trend indicates you need to associate with real women more in the real world. 1
Buddhist Posted March 13, 2015 Posted March 13, 2015 I know that society has tried to condition men to act like women and deny they have a dick, but I refuse to censor myself. Please provide any evidence at all that this is so. You state society is trying to condition men out of their sexuality. News to me. When, where and how exactly? Given that there was a very recent long thread on here in which many men stated they would absolutely avoid any woman with more than x number of partners, then of course women are going to with-hold sex as much as possible. Limiting it only to those men who wish to engage in a relationship with them. To do otherwise isn't logical. We're just working within the constructs of reality here.
somedude81 Posted March 13, 2015 Posted March 13, 2015 This whole problem of being "used for sex" is easily removed by simply talking about what you want before having sex. Also for heavens sake don't have sex on the first date.
Author fitnessfan365 Posted March 13, 2015 Author Posted March 13, 2015 Given that there was a very recent long thread on here in which many men stated they would absolutely avoid any woman with more than x number of partners, then of course women are going to with-hold sex as much as possible. Limiting it only to those men who wish to engage in a relationship with them. To do otherwise isn't logical. We're just working within the constructs of reality here. I was actually one of the few in that thread to say that as long as a woman is clean and on birth control, her sexual past doesn't matter to me. If a woman is good at sex, it's because she has the experience that got her there. So I've always thought it was a lame double standard to judge a woman on her sexual experience when you appreciate her sexual prowice. It's not like she got skilled in bed by osmosis. Plus, another reason why I appeciate a woman with sexual experience aside from the skill set, is it shows she has a healthy sexual appetite and isn't inhibited. However, you're right. I've had the bad luck of repeatedly meeting women with sexual hang ups and I used that to generalize. Even though it may feel like it's a trend, etc your experiences are yours alone.
xxoo Posted March 13, 2015 Posted March 13, 2015 If two people have a strong sexual attraction and are involved, they should be able to communicate openly about it. I mean I get that people have baggage they deal with and they don't want to repeat past mistakes. But being extremely insecure and implying all a guy wants is sex anytime he expresses desire, gets old extremely fast. Having "relationship phobia" is the fastest way to drive a well rounded guy out of your life. It sounds like they are trying to communicate that the relationship feels imbalanced and primarily about sex. 1
GemmaUK Posted March 13, 2015 Posted March 13, 2015 I so wish this wasn't an issue for men. Men my age don't seem to 'do' sex. No willingness to play. They wonder why we dump 'em. Lol! It's common with women I know from their late 20's up to my age and beyond.
LookAtThisPOst Posted March 13, 2015 Posted March 13, 2015 The growing trend of women constantly worrying about being used for sex is disturbing. I know that society has tried to condition men to act like women and deny they have a dick, but I refuse to censor myself. If two people have a strong sexual attraction and are involved, they should be able to communicate openly about it. I mean I get that people have baggage they deal with and they don't want to repeat past mistakes. But being extremely insecure and implying all a guy wants is sex anytime he expresses desire, gets old extremely fast. Having "relationship phobia" is the fastest way to drive a well rounded guy out of your life. Yeah, I had to deal with that with a woman I dated last year, she was very insecure. She was always waiting for the "other shoe to fall" thinking that as soon as I started getting routine sex, that I'd start caring less about her or even like what her ex-husband did, treat her like crap or just like a 2nd class citizen like other her ex. One time after we were intimate, she would go her couch as I was tired and wanted to sleep ( it was 1 am ), but she was rather feeling a panic attack come about. She had this fear of it happening again and she couldn't get over it.
Buddhist Posted March 13, 2015 Posted March 13, 2015 I was actually one of the few in that thread to say that as long as a woman is clean and on birth control, her sexual past doesn't matter to me. Until the majority think and act like that, nothing will really change. 2
BlackOpsZombieGirl Posted March 13, 2015 Posted March 13, 2015 I don't think it's always an absolute that a woman's sexual past determines how good she is in bed. Women with a "high" number can have a lot of sexual experience, but it doesn't necessarily mean she's a sensual or tantric lover. Alternatively, a woman who has a "low" number can have less sexual experience but be a better lover because she's more aware of what pleases her sexually, where her erogenous zones are, how to communicate openly with her lover as well as being in tune to what pleases him and trying different things to see how he responds. I actually feel sorry for women who are insecure in that way, because they don't realize how much pleasure they're missing out on. It's difficult for some people to become completely vulnerable with someone sexually and to lose all of their inhibitions in that moment...so, it helps if a bond has developed between two people along with a certain amount of trust and, of course, insane sexual chemistry and attraction. . 3
PogoStick Posted March 13, 2015 Posted March 13, 2015 Sorry OP, that's old school thinking. Yes, superficially everyone is supposed to act uninterested in sex. However, you don't have to dig very deep to realize that many girls want it...hard, fast, and often!
Gaeta Posted March 13, 2015 Posted March 13, 2015 I don't think it's always an absolute that a woman's sexual past determines how good she is in bed. Women with a "high" number can have a lot of sexual experience, but it doesn't necessarily mean she's a sensual or tantric lover. Alternatively, a woman who has a "low" number can have less sexual experience but be a better lover because she's more aware of what pleases her sexually, where her erogenous zones are, how to communicate openly with her lover as well as being in tune to what pleases him and trying different things to see how he responds. I 100% agree with that. Also people who have been in long term relationships often will be better lovers than those who have a long series of ONS or short lived relationship. When you've been a very long time with a partner you have to work at keeping the excitement alive and you have a lot of time to explore different ways to please your partners. The best lover I had was coming out of a 20 year marriage. The worse I had was a life long single dude with several partners. 2
preraph Posted March 14, 2015 Posted March 14, 2015 It's a universal truth that overall, generally speaking, with every conceivable exception duly noted, men want sex more often than women. That in itself isn't really the sticking point, though. The sticking point is when certain men feel the woman shouldn't have the option to opt out when she's not feeling it and should give a man sex whenever he needs it. Most women are not interested in always "being available" to get a guy off, and most women are not interested in being desired primarily for sex. Having sex isn't the main reason most women want a relationship. it isn't any woman's obligation to have sex anytime the man wants. Perhaps in his mind, his need cannot be denied, but bottom line, that's only our problem if we want to make it our problem. Even hot blooded women who enjoy sex to the fullest don't like that attitude that that's our problem. Our problem comes about later when we're over 40 and reaching our sexual peaks and there's no men interested in our age bracket. But we don't sit around stamping our feet because no one is concerned about our need and pretending there's not a very simple solution to momentary unfulfilled sexual need. 1
guest569 Posted March 14, 2015 Posted March 14, 2015 The growing trend of women constantly worrying about being used for sex is disturbing. Because it has happened to so many women. Why wouldn't women be wary? I don't call it insecurity, I call it intelligence. And not making the same mistake twice. I know that society has tried to condition men to act like women and deny they have a dick, but I refuse to censor myself. Um, what? 1
stillafool Posted March 14, 2015 Posted March 14, 2015 Sorry OP, that's old school thinking. Yes, superficially everyone is supposed to act uninterested in sex. However, you don't have to dig very deep to realize that many girls want it...hard, fast, and often! I somewhat agree with you. If women were so insecure about sex as stated why do they engage in so many FWB type relationships. That is basically sex with no commitment and they have no problem accepting this type of relationship from men.
Author fitnessfan365 Posted March 14, 2015 Author Posted March 14, 2015 It's a universal truth that overall, generally speaking, with every conceivable exception duly noted, men want sex more often than women. That in itself isn't really the sticking point, though. The sticking point is when certain men feel the woman shouldn't have the option to opt out when she's not feeling it and should give a man sex whenever he needs it. Most women are not interested in always "being available" to get a guy off, and most women are not interested in being desired primarily for sex. Having sex isn't the main reason most women want a relationship. it isn't any woman's obligation to have sex anytime the man wants. Perhaps in his mind, his need cannot be denied, but bottom line, that's only our problem if we want to make it our problem. Even hot blooded women who enjoy sex to the fullest don't like that attitude that that's our problem. Our problem comes about later when we're over 40 and reaching our sexual peaks and there's no men interested in our age bracket. But we don't sit around stamping our feet because no one is concerned about our need and pretending there's not a very simple solution to momentary unfulfilled sexual need. I'm pretty much always in the mood. Haha But knowing that about myself, I'm fine when she isn't. After all, she has no control over how I'm hardwired. I just like to be able to communicate openly about what's on my mind. So when you share a sexual thought and she says that's all you're interested in, it gets OLD.
xxoo Posted March 14, 2015 Posted March 14, 2015 I somewhat agree with you. If women were so insecure about sex as stated why do they engage in so many FWB type relationships. That is basically sex with no commitment and they have no problem accepting this type of relationship from men. This is true. But if a woman is really into a guy and is fantasizing about a relationship with him and baby names, then she is smart not to get sexual with him unless she is sure that he is also wanting a relationship.
Mrin Posted March 14, 2015 Posted March 14, 2015 Haha.. True about it being universal. However, ever since I got involved with online dating it seems to be magnified by ten fold. BTW - I think you took what I said the wrong way. Obviously you select women that have what you want and don't settle for a bad situation. But I was talking more in general terms of how society has tried to condition men to think that being a sexual being is a bad thing. Ah ok. That makes sense then!
Auspecial Posted March 14, 2015 Posted March 14, 2015 The growing trend of women constantly worrying about being used for sex is disturbing. I know that society has tried to condition men to act like women and deny they have a dick, but I refuse to censor myself. If two people have a strong sexual attraction and are involved, they should be able to communicate openly about it. I mean I get that people have baggage they deal with and they don't want to repeat past mistakes. But being extremely insecure and implying all a guy wants is sex anytime he expresses desire, gets old extremely fast. Having "relationship phobia" is the fastest way to drive a well rounded guy out of your life. I'm sure you've already noticed this, but I am going to remind you that men and women are very differently hardwired in this and many other regards. Worried about "being used for sex:" Ahem, this should be so obvious to people. Women have had to worry about this for ages and ages, for very obvious reasons that are related to both society and biology. Now its even very much worse because of internet and social decline. I am wondering if you may be a bit brainwashed by websites that tell you to act a certain way and its not who you are and its not working? LETS ALL try seeing other people as human beings who have a soul and a spirit and GOOD GRIEF, cut them some slack that they are NOT perfection and they are not your EXACT replica of what your greatest fantasy would desire.
Auspecial Posted March 14, 2015 Posted March 14, 2015 Haha.. True about it being universal. However, ever since I got involved with online dating it seems to be magnified by ten fold. BTW - I think you took what I said the wrong way. Obviously you select women that have what you want and don't settle for a bad situation. But I was talking more in general terms of how society has tried to condition men to think that being a sexual being is a bad thing. OLD is a disaster for both genders. Its become a scam.
Buddhist Posted March 14, 2015 Posted March 14, 2015 I just like to be able to communicate openly about what's on my mind. So when you share a sexual thought and she says that's all you're interested in, it gets OLD. As does listening to guy's express their sexual thoughts as if they don't have any others. Frankly it's boring when men continually express a single dimension over and over.
Author fitnessfan365 Posted March 14, 2015 Author Posted March 14, 2015 As does listening to guy's express their sexual thoughts as if they don't have any others. Frankly it's boring when men continually express a single dimension over and over. It's hardly over and over..LOL Most of the time, I just act on what I want and rarely talk about sex. But every once and awhile, a guy should be able to share sexual thoughts that are on his mind and be given the benefit of the doubt based on his overall actions. I mean after months of courting, being exclusive, etc.. You can hardly claim that a guy is just in it for sex.
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