krista28 Posted March 13, 2015 Posted March 13, 2015 Ive been seeing a guy for about a month now. weve even slept together... hes busy but wed get together and always have a good time. so he just went to vegas today I asked him like are we still seeing eachother because I hadn't heard from him in awhile...to what he answers..im not really into the idea I just don't have the drive and its not fair to you..what do I do now...feels like crap.
preraph Posted March 13, 2015 Posted March 13, 2015 Funny how sometimes you can go along and think things are going okay and then someone bails. It's just a fact of life though. Don't waste another moment thinking about it. You don't do anything. It's over. Erase all his info so you're not tempted to humiliate yourself by drunk-texting him. 1
Fhsjkfjrhsdh3646 Posted March 13, 2015 Posted March 13, 2015 He probably got what he wanted from you (sex) and now he's over you. 1
Echo74 Posted March 13, 2015 Posted March 13, 2015 He probably got what he wanted from you (sex) and now he's over you. Unfortunately this is so true. Ugh. 1
mammasita Posted March 13, 2015 Posted March 13, 2015 Life lesson I've learned.....I don't have sex until I know we're exclusive. Might have been useful in your situation. Did you talk about that at all before you slept with him? 3
Author krista28 Posted March 13, 2015 Author Posted March 13, 2015 Ya we did he even told me he liked me and wanted a relationship with me. It wasnt just once we slept together either...it was for a while. So...ya I think he got bored of me...but.... if he got bored. .....he aint getting another chance if he tries. 1
Gaeta Posted March 13, 2015 Posted March 13, 2015 These things aren't really anyone's fault. A lot of it is inexperience and inability to identify the difference between lust and feelings. When he said he wanted a relationship with you he probably meant it at the time. He felt this strong desire for you and he thought it would last but it didn't. We can't control how we feel or how others feel. I dated men who did the same thing. At first it's all hot and fun but it does not last because deep down we have nothing in common, nothing that brings us together other than the sex. 2
Gary S Posted March 14, 2015 Posted March 14, 2015 Darn players, guys like that should just leave women alone.
JustGrand Posted March 14, 2015 Posted March 14, 2015 Yup. everyone is right. Another guy just using a girl for sex. Sorry that happened to you. It's over.
katiegrl Posted March 14, 2015 Posted March 14, 2015 Ive been seeing a guy for about a month now. weve even slept together... hes busy but wed get together and always have a good time. so he just went to vegas today I asked him like are we still seeing eachother because I hadn't heard from him in awhile...to what he answers..im not really into the idea I just don't have the drive and its not fair to you..what do I do now...feels like crap. Why is he a jerk? Because he doesn't feel the same way you do? He was also completely honest with you about that when you asked. I am sorry you got hurt, life's a bytch sometimes. But your ex is not a jerk, he sounds like a good guy who just wasn't feeling it the way you were. What you do now, is accept that not all guys are gonna share the same feelings as you, and when they don't, you shed a few quiet tears alone or with friends, and move on. Block and delete his number and go no contact. In time, you will feel much better and will be ready to meet a new guy who IS into you the way you need him to be. 2
katiegrl Posted March 14, 2015 Posted March 14, 2015 Yup. everyone is right. Another guy just using a girl for sex. Sorry that happened to you. It's over. Oh for god's sake...there is no evidence he used her for sex. So what...a guy loses interest and suddenly he is a jerk who used her for sex? Come on now... 1
Nikki Sahagin Posted March 14, 2015 Posted March 14, 2015 This is why we girls need to set the rules. A man will get away with what he can get away with. Next time; no sex til exclusive. Even if it's hard to resist! I'm so sorry for what you're feeling though. We all live and learn. You'll find better
Gaeta Posted March 14, 2015 Posted March 14, 2015 This is why we girls need to set the rules. A man will get away with what he can get away with. Next time; no sex til exclusive. Even if it's hard to resist! I'm so sorry for what you're feeling though. We all live and learn. You'll find better What is exclusivity going to guarantee you? Nothing. He can still bail after 1 month, 2 months or 6 months. Romantic relationships and being intimate with someone demand to take a risk with your heart, no matter exclusivity or not. Even a marriage does not guarantee you he won't leave or cheat.
Gary S Posted March 14, 2015 Posted March 14, 2015 Oh for god's sake...there is no evidence he used her for sex. So what...a guy loses interest and suddenly he is a jerk who used her for sex? Come on now... - When it's only one month, yes - he did not even take the time to get to know her. What is exclusivity going to guarantee you? Nothing. He can still bail after 1 month, 2 months or 6 months. Romantic relationships and being intimate with someone demand to take a risk with your heart, no matter exclusivity or not. Even a marriage does not guarantee you he won't leave or cheat. - Some folks wait until marriage. I guarantee you that would at least weed the players out. Obviously this is not for everybody, but I'm just sayin'.
katiegrl Posted March 14, 2015 Posted March 14, 2015 (edited) - When it's only one month, yes - he did not even take the time to get to know '. Why should he take/waste the time getting to know her further when he already knows after a few dates he doesn't like her? That would be leading her on, would it not? Come on. Or maybe he liked her but then she got clingy and needy and he got turned off. Or he got turned off for some other reason. Or maybe SHE will get turned off after a few dates. That's dating...it's all a risk. Edited March 14, 2015 by katiegrl 1
Author krista28 Posted March 14, 2015 Author Posted March 14, 2015 I hear what you are all saying and totally agree with a lot of you. To be honest I think the guys a game player anyway which I dont need. Mayne I turned him off by being clingy or maybe he never liked me. Either way he treated me badly in the end....sp hes not worth it. Ive learned if someone isnt interested in you theres very little you can do to chamge that and it doesn't mean theres anything wrong with you. Ya just gotta move on and show em wbat they lost. And for god sakes never talk to them again.
JustGrand Posted March 14, 2015 Posted March 14, 2015 Why should he take/waste the time getting to know her further when he already knows after a few dates he doesn't like her? That would be leading her on, would it not? Come on. Well...Sometimes a guy will lie to get what he wants from a girl. After he gets what he wants, which is often just sex, then he will break it off with her and the cold, nasty truth comes out because he no longer cares to tell her what he wants her to believe. In other words, he played her.
Author krista28 Posted March 14, 2015 Author Posted March 14, 2015 Just grand...sad to say I think you may be right. I think that he did just want that from me looking back. He seemed like a pretty cold guy that might not put much of an effort in to any relationship though, too tied up in his own life. I could be wrong....but truth be told I am probably lucky to have my hands washed clean of him. I guess Ill never really know what happened...now I just need to know how to make him wish he didn't do that to me.
katiegrl Posted March 14, 2015 Posted March 14, 2015 Well...Sometimes a guy will lie to get what he wants from a girl. After he gets what he wants, which is often just sex, then he will break it off with her and the cold, nasty truth comes out because he no longer cares to tell her what he wants her to believe. In other words, he played her. Yes I understand that, and agree. But the point is...in "this" situation, we have no evidence that he played her. However, given what the OP just posted, if her gut was (is) telling her he is a game player, then she should go with that. Which begs the question, if she thought he was a player, why continue dating him, and worse, having sex with him? That's on her, but lesson learned...
Author krista28 Posted March 14, 2015 Author Posted March 14, 2015 thats true it is on me.. but i did think hed come around...and he did tell me he liked me....he was playing a lot of games and maybe thats just the whole hes not that into you thing. when a guy is into you hes not supposed to pull any punches about it..
Gaeta Posted March 14, 2015 Posted March 14, 2015 ....he was playing a lot of games and maybe thats just the whole hes not that into you thing. when a guy is into you hes not supposed to pull any punches about it.. So you knew he was playing games? but you went ahead with sleeping with him and expecting something good would come out of it?
Author krista28 Posted March 14, 2015 Author Posted March 14, 2015 didnt know that he was... I assumed he was from how he was acting,...and the games didnt start until awhile in...i cant be completely blamed..anyways all i can do now is treat him like he dont exist...cuz thats what he deserves.
katiegrl Posted March 14, 2015 Posted March 14, 2015 thats true it is on me.. but i did think hed come around...and he did tell me he liked me....he was playing a lot of games and maybe thats just the whole hes not that into you thing. when a guy is into you hes not supposed to pull any punches about it.. krista, I am so sorry you're hurting, dating sucks sometimes. But you are a very smart and perceptive girl, and this relationship has taught you some very valuable lessons... as noted in your above post. Be thankful you didn't spend too much time with him before learning this. Some women (and men) spend YEARS with their partner before learning what you just did in a one month relationship. This is a good thing!!! A positive thing! Good luck going forward! 1
Author krista28 Posted March 18, 2015 Author Posted March 18, 2015 Its a hard pill to swallow but I figure that..he aint worth nothing and probably doesnt deserve me anyways. Men... complicated people. feeling bad gives him power and me feeling better will just make him feel bad so...thats what I want!
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