ltjg45 Posted March 13, 2015 Posted March 13, 2015 As of right now, it is 5:18 PM in the afternoon. My current plans was to go to a bar-like place tonight on my own in the next 2-3 hours just to chill out and perhaps have my dinner there tonight. It is also a place that has its own set of group-based activites like bowling, music, and its own separate game room. The only problem is that I will be going by myself by walking there. Should I really bother? If I do, what should I do down there? As I mentioned before, there isn't much a single person can do there besides playing certain video games. I don't have any close friends that I can trust right now so finding extra people to come would be futile but I also want to get out of the house, even if it is for just a night. Ever since my day offs began Wednesday morning, I hasn't left at all and I got to go back to work Saturday night. If I do go, I can update on what has taken place afterwards.
preraph Posted March 13, 2015 Posted March 13, 2015 When I was young and going out a lot anyway, I often went to a bar or billiard room alone and played pool. You usually end up with someone to play with. If this place has a game room, do darts or something others can also do. I've even bowled alone a time or two in high school to practice (I had lessons), but no one will help you there usually. Sit at the bar with others and maybe strike up a conversation with some other guy and suggest you go play something if he's being casual and maybe make a new friend. 2
alphamale Posted March 13, 2015 Posted March 13, 2015 why don't you just go out to ear and forget the entertainment
Author ltjg45 Posted March 13, 2015 Author Posted March 13, 2015 When I was young and going out a lot anyway, I often went to a bar or billiard room alone and played pool. You usually end up with someone to play with. If this place has a game room, do darts or something others can also do. I've even bowled alone a time or two in high school to practice (I had lessons), but no one will help you there usually. Sit at the bar with others and maybe strike up a conversation with some other guy and suggest you go play something if he's being casual and maybe make a new friend. From the memory from the 1st and only time I went with a couple of people that is no longer employees at my job, that would be a little difficult since while they do have tables there, it is only in the dinning room. The other areas is basically open like outside of the bowling alley area where there is seats there. But that was like 6-8 months ago, when I was 27. I have no clue if anything has changed there now. I doubt it. I can give it a shot and see what happens. why don't you just go out to ear and forget the entertainment I can do that too. The place is basically across the street from the nearby mall so there is plenty of places to go to and eat solo if I really want to. I just figure perhaps I can try and improve my social skills while being there, especially since it has been a while since I last went there. I just undecided if going there solo is really such a bright idea. If that was the case, going to the mall would be a better idea.
d0nnivain Posted March 13, 2015 Posted March 13, 2015 If you are itching to go out, & your only other alternative is to stay home, I say go. You can relax. You can eat. You can talk to the bartender & perhaps strike up a conversation with the person next to you. 3
Starship Posted March 13, 2015 Posted March 13, 2015 Jacksonville is a decent size city. Hundreds of Meet Up groups in which a dozen will have some type of meeting this evening... Many members are single...don't know each other but like to get together for some activity...dance, dinner, bowling, movie, evening hike, etc. Tonight my boyfriend and are going to a salsa lesson, tomorrow a hike then a dance in the evening (all Meet Up groups). Most going will be single. 1
Author ltjg45 Posted March 13, 2015 Author Posted March 13, 2015 Jacksonville is a decent size city. Hundreds of Meet Up groups in which a dozen will have some type of meeting this evening... Many members are single...don't know each other but like to get together for some activity...dance, dinner, bowling, movie, evening hike, etc. Tonight my boyfriend and are going to a salsa lesson, tomorrow a hike then a dance in the evening (all Meet Up groups). Most going will be single. Never did try anything concerning dancing.....not to mention I wonder if I am prepared enough to dance. After all, I only have tennis shoes. And you can hike in Jacksonville? Unfortunately, I always work Saturday night so I know I can't make any Meetups during that time period. The only Meetup I went to so far was a wine-tasting event and, frankly, I couldn't be more out of place. I was more concerned with the taste of the red wine (since it tasted funny) than I was with the people around me, in which everyone looks like they are all 5 years older than me if not more. Add that to the fact that I am basically a non-drinker and I felt that was a big waste of time (and $40-50 down the drain ) Needless to say, I wasn't quick to go to another Meetup since then. I did have a desire to go to another one but I couldn't tell if I would like it enough to go to it.
SincereOnlineGuy Posted March 14, 2015 Posted March 14, 2015 Should I go out solo tonight? Hold on. Don't go anywhere, or make any decisions, until I consult the Spongebob Magic 8-ball: It says: """" Today is not your day """" . .
preraph Posted March 14, 2015 Posted March 14, 2015 If it's nice enough weather, always walk right outside the door of the club or wherever to see if anyone is standing around chatting outside. Sometimes if you just lean there, you'll get hellos and comments from people coming in and going out and end up talking. It's just something I've noticed because I like to get some air.
Bobbi7 Posted March 14, 2015 Posted March 14, 2015 I wouldn't have the balls to go to a bar alone and start chatting with someone. I'm too shy.
Author ltjg45 Posted March 14, 2015 Author Posted March 14, 2015 As promised, I did go to the club last night. Left around 7:30, got there around 8:30. The place is packed. There was loud music everywhere, people was there eating, playing games, having fun, bowling......everything was electric. Which leads to the biggest problem: There was no one there for me to even try and talk to. With all of the loud music, it was difficult for anyone to hear me. Secondly, since I was basically the only person there that went solo, I definitely felt like the odd ball of the bunch. When I did go to the dining area to eat, I was seated at a table for 4 in the middle of the area. I still couldn't tell if that was a good thing or a bad thing. While I did play some games and ate there tonight, I didn't feel like I made any progress if I ever hope to get a girlfriend one day and if I can't do this while I am in my 20s, my future is looking really bleak. To make things worse, if I can't succeed in the U.S., how could I succeed in a foreign country? I sure got a lot of things to think around, especially when my date to apply for a passport is on April 1st (yeah, it's falls on April Fool's Day, of all days). TLDR: """" Today is not your day """" He is basically right. It certainly wasn't my day today.
SincereOnlineGuy Posted March 14, 2015 Posted March 14, 2015 Well, lets consult the Spongebob Magic 8-ball once again: (and I DARE any of you to think for two seconds that there isn't an actual Spongebob Magic 8-ball not 5 feet... er, ok, not SIX feet from this keyboard, for true reads) It says: "Tarter Sauce" (I had to ask...)
Arieswoman Posted March 14, 2015 Posted March 14, 2015 Hey Itjg45, Don't be put off from going out solo. When I was divorced I joined a gym that had a cafe and after working out I could have a snack before I went home. You would be surprised how many single people were there just trying to fill in time before they went back home to an empty house. I would get my meal on a tray and then look for somewhere to sit, and then you get into the "can I sit here, are you saving that seat for someone?, Sorry to intrude but there is a shortage of seats at the moment, do you mind if I sit here, *smile*. After I had eaten I would try and engage the chap in conversation. If he shut me down, then that's fair enough. What I was doing was "networking" and trying to establish connections. So if I was there again I would be able to sit with someone and not feel awkward. It's worth trying. Good luck. 1
MissySpring Posted March 14, 2015 Posted March 14, 2015 If I do go, I can update on what has taken place afterwards. One of the most exciting things IMO is going out by yourself and having many chance flirtations and brief encounters (I'm talking about eye contact, flirting, and laughing). I met my husband at the movies. I was there by myself. We've been married 9 years. Good luck! 1
d0nnivain Posted March 14, 2015 Posted March 14, 2015 As promised, I did go to the club last night. Left around 7:30, got there around 8:30. The place is packed. There was loud music everywhere, people was there eating, playing games, having fun, bowling......everything was electric. Which leads to the biggest problem: There was no one there for me to even try and talk to.. Good for you for being brave enough to go out alone. Perhaps try a different venue, that a bit more conducive to conversation. Think Cheers or some other neighborhood place where you can become a regular.
GemmaUK Posted March 14, 2015 Posted March 14, 2015 I have been going out alone since I was 18. Not always alone, but I still like to do things on my own sometimes. I sed to go have lunch alone when I was in my LTR. I am now 45 and single and I go to see live bands on my own often, cinema, coffee, theatre, comedy clubs, museums, the park, for a quick pint and a read of a paper or my Kindle in a sunny pub garden. It's always tough to start with but the more you do it the more you relax - and once you are relaxed people talk to you much more, same as you do them. Don't stop going out alone when you want to. I have honestly had some amazing times when out on my own! I also love reading body language too and people watching is one of my favourite activities. It makes people way more interesting to be around.
Author ltjg45 Posted March 14, 2015 Author Posted March 14, 2015 "Tarter Sauce" That Spongebob Magic 8-Ball of yours is the devil.....especially when I don't like tarter sauce. Why not BBQ sauce? (Granted, I never did try tarter sauce......) Hey Itjg45, Don't be put off from going out solo. When I was divorced I joined a gym that had a cafe and after working out I could have a snack before I went home. You would be surprised how many single people were there just trying to fill in time before they went back home to an empty house. I would get my meal on a tray and then look for somewhere to sit, and then you get into the "can I sit here, are you saving that seat for someone?, Sorry to intrude but there is a shortage of seats at the moment, do you mind if I sit here, *smile*. After I had eaten I would try and engage the chap in conversation. If he shut me down, then that's fair enough. What I was doing was "networking" and trying to establish connections. So if I was there again I would be able to sit with someone and not feel awkward. It's worth trying. Good luck. I know my nearby gym doesn't have a cafe there so I certainly won't have those kinds of opportunities appear for me. And the people that is at the gym is typically focused on their workouts. While I may get stares at me from both males and females, I certainly don't try to interrupt. I am trying to establish myself as a regular even though I don't know what the benefits for doing so is. One of the most exciting things IMO is going out by yourself and having many chance flirtations and brief encounters (I'm talking about eye contact, flirting, and laughing). I met my husband at the movies. I was there by myself. We've been married 9 years. Good luck! Thanks. I am sure I am going to need it. Unfortunately, I am not a movie fan at all. Good for you for being brave enough to go out alone. Perhaps try a different venue, that a bit more conducive to conversation. Think Cheers or some other neighborhood place where you can become a regular. I take it you have been in Jacksonville in the past, correct? The place I went to last night is called Latitude 360 next to the Avenues Mall. I know there is a Cheers nearby but the last time I went, the place has so much cigarette smoke, it looks like there was a fire in there. Everyone there is basically smoking (from what I have noticed) and is also drinkers. Of course, I have to keep in mind that they have recently re-modeled and I hasn't went back to see the updated place now. I probably will return this upcoming Friday and see if I like it more then. Don't stop going out alone when you want to. I have honestly had some amazing times when out on my own! I also love reading body language too and people watching is one of my favourite activities. It makes people way more interesting to be around. I have no issues going out alone these days. I got used to it over the years. My only issue is finding things that I actually want to do. Even though I am in the Mandarin area, there isn't a lot that catches my attention. Given that I am not a smoker, I almost never drink, and I typically go through my day alone (even without friends), there isn't a whole lot available. Add that to my transportation and financial limitations and it can turn into a rather big problem. Fortunately, I am not a big fan of spending money so I typically only spend, at the most, $20 on a random night that I go out and that only happens because I order more food than I can handle. Last night, I dropped $28 total ($20 for dinner, $8 for games). I watched other males punch a punching bag at one of the games there. I even see people making out and that got me a little horny, as much as I try to control myself. I did play some of the basketball shooting games and realized how little arm strength I really have. 30% of the shots was undershot. It was an interesting night, if anything else. Just nothing major came of it. Something tells me I will be seeing a ton more of those nights before I make any progress at all.
SincereOnlineGuy Posted March 15, 2015 Posted March 15, 2015 That Spongebob Magic 8-Ball of yours is the devil.....especially when I don't like tarter sauce. Why not BBQ sauce? (Granted, I never did try tarter sauce......) In all fairness, what you probably never tried, or don't like, is "Tartar Sauce". I have no idea whyyyyyyyyyy the Spongebob Magic 8-ball has tarter sauce.
Recommended Posts