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Boyfriend is acting weird and I'm not sure where to go from here.

garfish99

By garfish99
in General Relationship Discussion

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garfish99 Member

garfish99

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I find that many women like rough sex if they trust you, and they love to be dominated.

 

So when they liked other forms of rough sex, did you treat it like it was safe to assume they also wanted to be suffocated as well? And went ahead and stopped their breathing? Or did you have conversations way beforehand about what their limits were?

 

I liked all the other rough sex he did with me. I'm just not into asphyxiation.. Before we tried all the other things, he asked me what I thought about them long before we did them. But breathe play never came up in conversation. Is that odd considering breathe play is a risky activity?

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garfish99 Member

garfish99

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Are you into rough sex? If not, why should you be trying to please him in this respect? Play is one thing but you don't just spring it on people. It does sound as if you are enforcing your boundaries to an extent and he doesn't like what that means. He wants it rough. If that's not your scene, then maybe you need a different kind of guy.

 

I like rough sex, just not being asphyxiated. He has had a ton of sex partners and he claims that I'm the only one who didn't like being surprised with suffocation during sex and that's why he didn't know how to take it.

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garfish99 Member

garfish99

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People here saying him putting his hand on your mouth is weird don't get the kink world. It's completely normal to try things out. As I said, perhaps you are not compatible sexually and it's frustrating him (and you).

 

Is it ok to try out suffocation on your partner without ever discussing it with them first, in your opinion? Because I've heard varying opinions on that from people into the lifestyle.

PinkInTheLimo Established Member

PinkInTheLimo

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You guys only know each other for a short time. I don't understand why you already need to have kinky sex now. Should you not first have normal sex?

I once was with a guy who also needed all kind of sexual kicks. He was in particular interested in anal, something I feel no need for. I quickly got tired of the fact that whenever we had sex he was trying to get in my arse with some body part of his. Sex was never about enjoying each other but more about his obsession.

 

Maybe your guy has been watching too much porn and now wants to put his fantasies in reality.

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pteromom Established Member

pteromom

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What does being into kinky stuff have to do with him not being a good guy?

 

It's normal to like kink. I do. If you don't and he does, perhaps he's not the right guy for you.

 

People here saying him putting his hand on your mouth is weird don't get the kink world. It's completely normal to try things out. As I said, perhaps you are not compatible sexually and it's frustrating him (and you).

 

This isn't about liking or not liking kink. It's about FORCING your kink onto another person. I am not into kink, but I've read enough on forums to know that feeling safe and permission are very big.

 

OP, this guy seems selfish. He wants what he wants sexually, no matter how you feel. He wants a 3 day break, so he takes it with no consideration of how you may be feeling or worrying.

pteromom Established Member

pteromom

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You guys only know each other for a short time. I don't understand why you already need to have kinky sex now. Should you not first have normal sex?

I once was with a guy who also needed all kind of sexual kicks. He was in particular interested in anal, something I feel no need for. I quickly got tired of the fact that whenever we had sex he was trying to get in my arse with some body part of his. Sex was never about enjoying each other but more about his obsession.

 

Maybe your guy has been watching too much porn and now wants to put his fantasies in reality.

 

YES, this too!

pteromom Established Member

pteromom

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I like rough sex, just not being asphyxiated. He has had a ton of sex partners and he claims that I'm the only one who didn't like being surprised with suffocation during sex and that's why he didn't know how to take it.

 

I call BS on this.

 

He's trying to make you feel abnormal so he can do what he wants.

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garfish99 Member

garfish99

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DB

I call BS on this. He's trying to make you feel abnormal so he can do what he wants.

 

That's exactly what I think. I also noticed that when I expressed how I felt, he complained that I don't seem receptive to much of ANYTHING he tries. That was his other excuse for giving me the cold treatment for 3 days. He didn't know how to take it,you see.

 

He does watch a ton of porn. He talks about it all the time. Which is fine to me. His behavior is not.

 

Interestingly enough, he said,"I know I can be very difficult so I can understand if you want to take a break for awhile." It's interesting that that's his idea of a solution, not, you know. Stop being dIfficult. Or expecting me to make all the changes.

 

He was severely emotionally abused as a child and never got therapy for it either. Guess I didn't have to wait long to see what influence it had on our relationship.

Edited by garfish99
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