Jonp219 Posted March 13, 2015 Share Posted March 13, 2015 (edited) Last night I had a little too much to drink with my buddies. When I got home I decided to check my exes twitter (didn't do it for 4 days, now I feel stupid for doing so). Anyway she wrote something for the first time in weeks. It said, "You thought the little effort you put in was enough". Ugh I hate that I did that. Normally when a message is as subliminal as this one, it's usually directed towards me. I can't believe after a month she's still posting about me. I'm going to stop doing this before I see something that will make my heart drop to the bottom of my stomach. Note: I wrote the same thread in another section, but asked for it to be removed due to it being in the wrong section. Edited March 13, 2015 by Jonp219 Link to post Share on other sites
darkbloom Posted March 13, 2015 Share Posted March 13, 2015 Social media will be the death of you during a breakup. I had an ex tweet about me for 6 months after a breakup. He just did passive agressive subliminal tweets. And HE broke up with me. Which made no sense. I decided to block him and let it go. I'm ashamed to say I responded back by calling him out on Twitter. So embarrassing. It got better after I stopped checking. Current breakup is the same thing. Nothing that he could post would make me feel better. So I'm not sabotaging myself by checking. Maybe give your friends your phone when you're drinking since your inhibitions are gone. Girls tend to me social media manipulators. She knows exactly what to post to get a rise out of you. Go strict NC for your own emotional well being. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Auspecial Posted March 13, 2015 Share Posted March 13, 2015 But, how do you really know for sure she is talking about you? I know people who post passive aggressively all day about every day things going on. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Jonp219 Posted March 13, 2015 Author Share Posted March 13, 2015 Social media will be the death of you during a breakup. I had an ex tweet about me for 6 months after a breakup. He just did passive agressive subliminal tweets. And HE broke up with me. Which made no sense. I decided to block him and let it go. I'm ashamed to say I responded back by calling him out on Twitter. So embarrassing. It got better after I stopped checking. Current breakup is the same thing. Nothing that he could post would make me feel better. So I'm not sabotaging myself by checking. Maybe give your friends your phone when you're drinking since your inhibitions are gone. Girls tend to me social media manipulators. She knows exactly what to post to get a rise out of you. Go strict NC for your own emotional well being. Kind of weird since I blocked her (I checked without logging in). And even though she can't see my page, I don't post anything about her anyway. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Jonp219 Posted March 13, 2015 Author Share Posted March 13, 2015 (edited) But, how do you really know for sure she is talking about you? I know people who post passive aggressively all day about every day things going on. Because it was quote from a song of an artist she likes alot. The song talks about past relationships with friends or significant others. We haven't spoken in almost 3 weeks and she never contacts me, yet she always finds the time to go on Twitter once a week to retweet or post something about our old relationship. Anyone know what the psychology of a passive-aggressive person really means? I'm curious because, you say you're done with me but you continue to talk about us. Edited March 13, 2015 by Jonp219 Link to post Share on other sites
na49 Posted March 13, 2015 Share Posted March 13, 2015 Anyone know what the psychology of a passive-aggressive person really means? It means they are immature. Especially when they do it on social media. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Jonp219 Posted March 13, 2015 Author Share Posted March 13, 2015 It means they are immature. Especially when they do it on social media. Funny lol My ex use to see a psychologist for her social anxiety and she told him about our relationship. He even said, "you guys seriously need to grow up". My best friend even said, "You're relationship doesn't seem horrible, but you people need to grow the **** up". One thing I feared about our relationship was that she was going to turn into her mom. I'm starting to see that a lot now... Link to post Share on other sites
Rainbowlove Posted March 13, 2015 Share Posted March 13, 2015 I'm curious because, you say you're done with me but you continue to talk about us. Even if she's "done" with you, she still has a grieving process to go through. Anger is one of them...so her quote, if directed towards you, is part of her anger and disgust. Stop looking at it...each time you peek, you are dragged back into the toxicity of it all stunting your healing process. Be stronger. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Jonp219 Posted March 13, 2015 Author Share Posted March 13, 2015 (edited) Even if she's "done" with you, she still has a grieving process to go through. Anger is one of them...so her quote, if directed towards you, is part of her anger and disgust. Stop looking at it...each time you peek, you are dragged back into the toxicity of it all stunting your healing process. Be stronger. I know, curiosity killed the cat. I still love and care about her and I just think the break up could of been handled with more dignity. Her heart may be at war with her mind. I definitely understand why she feels this way. However, all this including the way she broke up with me and her cold and distant behavior made me lose some respect for her. Edited March 13, 2015 by Jonp219 Link to post Share on other sites
quattrob Posted March 13, 2015 Share Posted March 13, 2015 Because it was quote from a song of an artist she likes alot. The song talks about past relationships with friends or significant others. We haven't spoken in almost 3 weeks and she never contacts me, yet she always finds the time to go on Twitter once a week to retweet or post something about our old relationship. Anyone know what the psychology of a passive-aggressive person really means? I'm curious because, you say you're done with me but you continue to talk about us. People talk about their exes after breakup all the time.. this is how people release the hurt and poison from their minds and body. I did the same thing for about a month or so. And even now if something reminds me of my ex, I may talk about it briefly to a friend. Just because someone mentions their ex, doesn't mean he/she wants to get back with you or anything like that. When you are so used to being with someone, you're going to go through withdrawal being away from that person for awhile. It's like smoking, it's hard to quit. Jon, I know you're hoping she hasn't gotten over you and has you on her mind. I think you're focusing alittle too much on her when you should be more on yourself. And since you started posting on these forums till now, I don't see much progress, you take a few steps forward but always take a few steps back again. I don't know what to tell you but you're the only person that's doing all this to yourself. You can get better but you have to want to and have the courage to do the things necessary. And people are right, you do need to grow up and mature. Link to post Share on other sites
darkbloom Posted March 13, 2015 Share Posted March 13, 2015 Ignorance is bliss my friend. Blocking her means just that. She can't see you and you can't see her. She's probably processing her feelings even though she broke up with you. It's best to not read into anything she posts. Set yourself free. She broke up with you. Time to do whatever the hell you want. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Jonp219 Posted March 13, 2015 Author Share Posted March 13, 2015 Ignorance is bliss my friend. Blocking her means just that. She can't see you and you can't see her. She's probably processing her feelings even though she broke up with you. It's best to not read into anything she posts. Set yourself free. She broke up with you. Time to do whatever the hell you want. Sorry, it's just this underlying hope that she'll come back and that we'll be able to reconcile someday, considering that the break up was my fault. However lately I'm starting to realize that this was handled in an unhealthy and immature manner, and because of that I don't miss her as much as I did earlier last month. Sometimes I have days were I think i'm going to be ok (like today). But tomorrow I might start missing her like crazy again. Link to post Share on other sites
darkbloom Posted March 14, 2015 Share Posted March 14, 2015 Sorry, it's just this underlying hope that she'll come back and that we'll be able to reconcile someday, considering that the break up was my fault. However lately I'm starting to realize that this was handled in an unhealthy and immature manner, and because of that I don't miss her as much as I did earlier last month. Sometimes I have days were I think i'm going to be ok (like today). But tomorrow I might start missing her like crazy again. This sounds counterintuitive but the only hope of reconciliation is to move on. Completely. Become detached to the outcome. It's going to feel like you're losing an appendage. But eventually you will heal and feel much better. I'm a firm believer that the dumper must come back around for it to really work. She's going to look back on those tweets in a year and realize what a moron she was for posting that ****. Breakups and feelings should be left off of social media. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Jonp219 Posted March 14, 2015 Author Share Posted March 14, 2015 This sounds counterintuitive but the only hope of reconciliation is to move on. Completely. Become detached to the outcome. It's going to feel like you're losing an appendage. But eventually you will heal and feel much better. I'm a firm believer that the dumper must come back around for it to really work. She's going to look back on those tweets in a year and realize what a moron she was for posting that ****. Breakups and feelings should be left off of social media. Who knows? As of right now i'm COMPLETELY wrong and she is COMPLETELY right (in her eyes). Although she had a good reason to leave me, she needs to stop acting like i'm the worst person in the world. Her best friend has a HORRIBLE boyfriend, he chokes her and isn't even employed at the moment due to a physical fight he had with his former manager, dude is crazy. I got issues, but she needs to chill. However, the fact that she continuously does this makes me feel a little better. Not because i'm on her mind, but because behavior like this makes her seem more immature than I thought she was. Link to post Share on other sites
Rainbowlove Posted March 14, 2015 Share Posted March 14, 2015 (edited) Sorry, it's just this underlying hope that she'll come back and that we'll be able to reconcile someday, considering that the break up was my fault. However lately I'm starting to realize that this was handled in an unhealthy and immature manner, and because of that I don't miss her as much as I did earlier last month. Sometimes I have days were I think i'm going to be ok (like today). But tomorrow I might start missing her like crazy again. Jon, Be gentle with yourself. Your heart has been broken. Healing takes time. This relationship has only recently ended. The grieving process is like riding a roller coaster, as you are finding out. Each day is like a new ride. Go with it. Just stay away from anything that brings you back to her emotionally until you are healed. Take care of yourself. Edited March 14, 2015 by Rainbowlove Link to post Share on other sites
Author Jonp219 Posted March 14, 2015 Author Share Posted March 14, 2015 Jon, Be gentle with yourself. Your heart has been broken. Healing takes time. This relationship has only recently ended. The grieving process is like riding a roller coaster, as you are finding out. Each day is like a new ride. Go with it. Just stay away from anything that brings you back to her emotionally until you are healed. Take care of yourself. It's so difficult Rainbow... I'm scared to going to my favorite parks because we use to go there... I love Mexican food, I can't even look at it anymore because she's the one who got me into it... I can't listen to OneRepublic anymore because that was her favorite band... I can't stay at hotels anymore because we use to do that to get away from everything... There are some really nice sweaters she gave me that I don't feel right wearing anymore... There's a nice diner was the block from where I live. I can't even go there because that was our favorite spot.... Life just feels so limited right now. We went to so many places... Link to post Share on other sites
darkbloom Posted March 14, 2015 Share Posted March 14, 2015 It's so difficult Rainbow... I'm scared to going to my favorite parks because we use to go there... I love Mexican food, I can't even look at it anymore because she's the one who got me into it... I can't listen to OneRepublic anymore because that was her favorite band... I can't stay at hotels anymore because we use to do that to get away from everything... There are some really nice sweaters she gave me that I don't feel right wearing anymore... There's a nice diner was the block from where I live. I can't even go there because that was our favorite spot.... Life just feels so limited right now. We went to so many places... On that note, I pretty much bought my ex all of his clothes and all of his jewelry. I giggle inside every time I think of him getting dressed because it literally has to remind him of me. Every time. I also gave his mom some of my old clothes and bought her things from where I work. I'm sure every time she wears them he has a minor freak out. It's not like he can tell his mom we broke up because he cheated. She would flip. Ex also works at the same place we met. My regular clients come in ask for me all the time. I can picture the look on his face when they want my help and not his. Might be mean but it makes me feel better. Link to post Share on other sites
na49 Posted March 14, 2015 Share Posted March 14, 2015 I would get everything that she gave you, and get it out of your sight. There are a lot of things that my ex got me that I really do like, but will never be able to wear/use again because they remind me of her. As far as everything else, it's okay to avoid them for now. Also, am I the only one who gets uncomfortable just hearing about sex now? I immediately think of my ex having sex with this new guy, and it just makes my heart drop into my stomach. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Jonp219 Posted March 14, 2015 Author Share Posted March 14, 2015 Also, am I the only one who gets uncomfortable just hearing about sex now? I immediately think of my ex having sex with this new guy, and it just makes my heart drop into my stomach. I think it's a guy thing, I'm not sure. The thought crosses my mind too from time to time (although I don't think she's with anyone). I snap a rubber band on my wrist or meditate to take those images away. It sucks, but I think this a test for yourself to see if you can let go of control. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Jonp219 Posted March 16, 2015 Author Share Posted March 16, 2015 Now she wrote, "Now my eyes are open, and my heart is closing". :'( I can't deal with life anymore... Link to post Share on other sites
Rainbowlove Posted March 16, 2015 Share Posted March 16, 2015 On that note, I pretty much bought my ex all of his clothes and all of his jewelry. I giggle inside every time I think of him getting dressed because it literally has to remind him of me. Every time. I also gave his mom some of my old clothes and bought her things from where I work. I'm sure every time she wears them he has a minor freak out. It's not like he can tell his mom we broke up because he cheated. She would flip. Ex also works at the same place we met. My regular clients come in ask for me all the time. I can picture the look on his face when they want my help and not his. Might be mean but it makes me feel better. I'm confused as to how any of this actually helps the OP? Might be mean is right. Why? You should have kept this to yourself. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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