sadgal123 Posted March 13, 2015 Posted March 13, 2015 I am so sad right now and just wish someone can hear me out. I met this guy n we have been out for 3 months. He is 44 and I am 31. I have been in the dating scene for 4 months and I honestly finally found a guy that I can relate to. we laughed and had fun all the time. because of his work we can only hang out once a week, but i frequently sleepover. 2 weeks ago he had a morning conference call so I went home. days later he texted saying that he got promoted and would be very busy. I remembered him telling me about it and I didn't expect that quick. I text back saying that if he is too busy perhaps he should let me know for I don't want to intrude. He didn't text back till a day later saying that he doesn't see us long term because of age difference. He said we can still text but meeting up will be hard. I said if you don't even make an effort then I can't be waiting. He then said he feels the the need to protect himself for he feels I would leave him for a younger guy. I was so hurt. He doesn't care me enough to make an effort to be with me. I then said I am angry and he said he feels bad that I would be waiting for him so he doesn't see us together. He said to text him when I am no longer mad. I was like no I won' talk to you. And he was like why? And he got mad. I am so sad, I couldn't sleep for days and then I texted him saying I am no longer mad and lied about being fine. He replied that he was glad to hear that. I then asked him if he wants to hang out and celebrate his promotion. He said he would be busy. I text back telling him he can text me when he is free or when he wants to hang out. He didn't text back. He used to text me about his day but now I don't even hear from him. So that is the end huh? I have met so many guys but I have never met someone like him. Tell me what should I do? Should I say let's do short term and see how it goes or perhaps I should just move on. I know I must be stupid.
Dropped71 Posted March 13, 2015 Posted March 13, 2015 Never met someone as awful as him? He's sweet talked you and you feel for it hook, line, and sinker. He's attractive obviously. He's a good talker obviously. He has no substance obviously. How many women is he sleeping with at once? It's a shame women go for this but there's noting I or anyone else can do about it. 1
preraph Posted March 13, 2015 Posted March 13, 2015 Him telling you he'd be busy was his way of trying to gently stop seeing you. He tried not to say hurtful things, and that's where the "you'll leave me for a younger man" got manufactured. In his mind, he's thinking that any sensible woman wouldn't want a man who has no time for her and thinks she's not right for him, so that was his approach. He isn't seeing you anymore. Move on. Sorry.
fitnessfan365 Posted March 13, 2015 Posted March 13, 2015 This is not a conversation you should have had over text messaging. My advice? Don't contact him again. You still have feelings, and attempting to just "hang out" with him will lead to nothing but pain for you in the long run. Sadly I can relate though. I always got along better with older women. Even when I was younger. But they always end up being commitment phobic in the end. They worry I won't find them as attractive, or that they're denying me kids, etc.. So even though I still crave fine wine every once and awhile, I no longer pursue women over 40.
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