LooperDooper Posted March 13, 2015 Posted March 13, 2015 Haven't written in awhile about me, had been doing not so bad the past week, went 100% NC on her for a week today (previously it was LC because I have to see her everyday), but decided to begin my process by blocking her on fb and whatsapp. I've been running about 3-4 times a week, been trying to socialize with more people, been trying to feel good about myself and have just recently restarted my motivation to focus on my studies. However, today I am terrible. I don't know what happened, I haven't done anything but I can't get her out of my mind. I can't stop thinking how she left me and said she stopped seeing me as a bf because she just feels it didn't work out. I can't stop feeling how she says I'm the perfect bf but yet she didn't even want to fight for this after I asked her to. I have to see her everyday, and it just seems like she doesn't give a crap about me. I'm angry, I'm sad, I miss her. She wasn't perfect and neither was I, because we had a lot of problems that only I seemed to want to fix, yet I stayed for too long and fell for her and trusted her. And then she leaves me. After I should've been the one to leave her a long time ago, but yet I trusted, I believed and now I'm a mess because I fell for her. I need some serious help today. I don't know what triggered everything again so strongly but I hate this. I wish something happened and I didn't have to see her, hear from her or know absolutely anything about her for the rest of my life.
Quiet Storm Posted March 13, 2015 Posted March 13, 2015 You just need time and patience to get over it. You don't want someone in your life that would hurt you like this. It's hard and it will suck, but you can detach. You will not be a mess forever. You will recover and be stronger. You will be OK. 3
smellysocksuni Posted March 13, 2015 Posted March 13, 2015 Hi, I'm sorry to hear what you've been going through. You're doing all the right things by going running, socialising etc. Keep at it, but don't try and force away the grief. If you feel sad, let yourself feel sad. Seeing her must be tough, I take it you study with her? When you do see her, do you interact?
Author LooperDooper Posted March 13, 2015 Author Posted March 13, 2015 Hi, I'm sorry to hear what you've been going through. You're doing all the right things by going running, socialising etc. Keep at it, but don't try and force away the grief. If you feel sad, let yourself feel sad. Seeing her must be tough, I take it you study with her? When you do see her, do you interact? Yeah, I'm in a special program and I have class every single day and it's always with the same people (from the same program). Unfortunately I have to see her regardless. I try to be as happy as possible and luckily my friends have been there for me. I do not interact with her, I try and stay away as far as possible from her and her friends, to the point where I try not to even look at her nor do I want to catch her looking at me (if she happens to at some point). I'm the type of guy who breaks as far away as possible from an ex, and that's what I've done with blocking her. I do it for me and me only, it's the only way I can get rid of the hope of getting back together. I'm trying but today I'm just extremely sad and don't know why. I do accept it and try and go with it, hence my post to try and feel good and try and get some help and advice from this amazing community. Every message helps and seeing other people struggling (or who have struggled) the same makes you feel like it's part of life, it's a process, and that we together can help each other.
Clover2016 Posted March 13, 2015 Posted March 13, 2015 Hey there, I'm sure Quiet Storm is right, you don't want someone that would hurt you like this in your life. If you cant avoid seeing her everyday, then going NC would be hard, maybe not working at all. But, sometimes the only way to overcome your pain is go through it. Face your problem, accept the truth, keep telling yourself it's over. It'll hurt like hell at first, but there will be someday when you can look back to your tears and smile. Keep moving on, my friend. I know you can do it
sabd Posted March 13, 2015 Posted March 13, 2015 I know how difficult it is to get over someone when you have to see them every day. I had the same experience - my ex of 6 years and I worked together (still do) and seeing him every day after he dumped via a text message was agony. The only thing that helped me was time (lots of it) and being determined to not let him get me down in anyway. I had the "feel the fear and do it anyway mindset" - forced myself to face him and interact with him despite how crap I was feeling. I don't recommend the constant contact at all but I had no choice and simply had to make the best of a very bad and uncomfortable situation. In time, after a year or so, I was able to get to the point of forgiveness and now we enjoy a pretty decent friendship.
Emma1234 Posted March 13, 2015 Posted March 13, 2015 I completely get what you're feeling, what helps me is just tell myself 'i accept it and i let it go'. I don't know if you agree with any of this (and it isn't a way to get an ex back or any hope - it's about wanting to move on) but this video helped me a while back. Stay strong, it'll pass in time, that's what we HAVE to keep telling ourselves, it just sucks that it's going to take the time.
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