Nelson87 Posted March 12, 2015 Posted March 12, 2015 I'm divorced and I started dating again (different woman) but I can't get it out of my head that I'm going to be cheated on again or something bad will happen to our relationship like in the past. I've expressed this my girlfriend and she assures me that nothing like that will happen as she doesn't like it (cheating) and I'm all that she needs in life. I kniw she's not the type of person to commit to a relationship just to throw it all away for nothing, but I can't seem to follow my heart and not my brain. Please help, any advice is appreciated, Im just tired of being on edge and I'm afraid that I'll end up worrying too much and ultimately push Her away.
Fhsjkfjrhsdh3646 Posted March 12, 2015 Posted March 12, 2015 Insecurity is something you need to work on... Sometimes it takes time. Sometimes it takes a leap of faith.
badpenny Posted March 12, 2015 Posted March 12, 2015 You're not thinking with your brain, you're thinking with your heart. Brain is Logical and rational. Heart is a mess. Heart is crazy, irrational, illogical and emotional. All this talk about being fearful she will cheat doesn't make any sense.... You shouldn't be dating yet if you're having such deep Trust issues. Or else, you need to see a Counsellor, because otherwise you WILL drive this lady away with a self-fulfilling prophecy. get counselling, either jointly or on your own. because your brain isn't getting a look-in, your heart keeps sabotaging your progress.
Redhead14 Posted March 12, 2015 Posted March 12, 2015 I'm divorced and I started dating again (different woman) but I can't get it out of my head that I'm going to be cheated on again or something bad will happen to our relationship like in the past. I've expressed this my girlfriend and she assures me that nothing like that will happen as she doesn't like it (cheating) and I'm all that she needs in life. I kniw she's not the type of person to commit to a relationship just to throw it all away for nothing, but I can't seem to follow my heart and not my brain. Please help, any advice is appreciated, Im just tired of being on edge and I'm afraid that I'll end up worrying too much and ultimately push Her away. How long have you been divorced and how long since you started dating your current "girlfriend"? The answers to these questions are important in order to respond.
Gary S Posted March 12, 2015 Posted March 12, 2015 You have trust issues, and understandably, you were cheated on in the past. I would strongly suggest you seek counseling, therapists are skilled and experienced in these matters, they can help. Trust is tied to love. You will have trouble falling in love again if you can't trust. You can only love someone as far as you can trust them. Not all women cheat. Sane women with integrity, who love you, are naturally monogamous.
elliecoffee Posted March 12, 2015 Posted March 12, 2015 Maybe you need to give yourself a little bit more time before start dating again. I've never been married but I was in a serious relationship for four years and he cheated on me multiple times. When the relationship ended, after sometime I started dated again and I had the same feeling you have now. The guy was a great guy and was really committed to me and to the relationship, but it didn't work out because it went too fast and I was so anxious about being cheated again. Within the first 5 months of dating, he was inviting me to his brother's wedding, family reunions, friend's barbecues... He was introducing me as his girlfriend and telling EVERYONE how much he loved me and how happy he was with me and one time his mother started talking about marriage. When I talked to him about it, how rushed it felt and how anxious I was, he kind of didn't understand it and we got into an argument. There I caught myself following the patterns I had when I was with the xboyfriend and there I knew it had to end. Maybe he was great, maybe he wasn't, but I was not ready. I'm telling you my story so you know why I did what I did. When someone you love so much cheats on you, hurts and it takes time to heal. You can't place that healing process on a partner as if it was his/her duty to fulfil for you to have a relationship. My advice would be: pay attention to yourself and be honest with what you find. Hope you feel better xx
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