Toodaloo Posted March 12, 2015 Posted March 12, 2015 Fed up of the site I am on as no one wants to talk anyway... I am deleting my profile at the beginning of next month as there is just no point. Wanted to see what all the fuss about OK Cupid is about... it made me sign up... I am not all that computer literate so I am sure I could have had a sneaky peek with out but ho hum and by the time I was half way through I figured what the heck. Try it any way. Only been on there for 20 minutes. Had loads of chaps looking at my profile. 3 messages. Two I have not responded to as one said "hy" and the other was an equally copy and paste message. My email inbox is filling up rapidly... oh and I found one of the guys who works for me... He is an 80%+ match apparently... Now I know why women complain... Its like a barrage... Please God don't let any of them squawk at me...
Fhsjkfjrhsdh3646 Posted March 12, 2015 Posted March 12, 2015 Well as a Woman you WILL get barraged on pretty much any OLD site. Guys have to send tons of messages, girls have to read tons - sort of fair if you ask me? 1
Vintage79 Posted March 12, 2015 Posted March 12, 2015 Do guys really have to send tons of messages to get a response? Last time I sent out messages - I contacted 3 women and got 3 dates. That's a 100% hit rate, that's likely an outlier, but it's no where near needing to send out tons of messages. Prior it seemed like it was a hit rate of 60% (correspond with ~2/3) - maybe my experience is a bit different than most.
alphamale Posted March 12, 2015 Posted March 12, 2015 OLD is pretty much a waste of time for men, women do a little better 1
Fhsjkfjrhsdh3646 Posted March 12, 2015 Posted March 12, 2015 Do guys really have to send tons of messages to get a response? Last time I sent out messages - I contacted 3 women and got 3 dates. That's a 100% hit rate, that's likely an outlier, but it's no where near needing to send out tons of messages. Prior it seemed like it was a hit rate of 60% (correspond with ~2/3) - maybe my experience is a bit different than most. Unless you're a guy who's a 10/10, yes we have to send lots. Although outliers do happen. One day I logged into OKCupid and sent a total of 1 messages, and I got a reply right away. Other days i'll send 10-15 messages and get 0 responses. Totally random.
Gary S Posted March 12, 2015 Posted March 12, 2015 ^^^barcode is right. On most sites, unless you look like brad Pit, it's a numbers game for men.... they have no idea which women will find them attractive, they have to be the main pursuers, and some of the profiles are abandoned. 2
writergal Posted March 12, 2015 Posted March 12, 2015 Toodaloo I empathize with you. I refer to OkCupid as OkStupid because the selection of men on there are sub-par; worse than the men on Plenty of Fish, which I refer to Plenty of Sh*t. Free dating websites have a worse inventory of men than paid online dating websites. Match or eHarmony has better selections. Online dating's just not for me. My first serious relationship from OLD was such a mess, it's what prompted me to first post here on LoveShack. And several online dating disasters followed after that one, which I like to refer to as the Hindenburg of my dating life disasters for the way it crashed and burned and incinerated my trust in divorced men for all eternity. 7
Moy Posted March 12, 2015 Posted March 12, 2015 I'm on there, too. Women looking at my profile and thinking 'Eurgh!' Women reading my messages and then looking at my profile and thinking 'Eurgh!' After two years of tumbleweed and destroyed self-esteem, I sometimes feel like cracking open a beer in celebration every time a lady complains that men on OLD aren't good enough. I know that I really shouldn't, but I'm sure that I'm not alone in this......fellas? 4
Gary S Posted March 12, 2015 Posted March 12, 2015 writergal is "write". In the U.S., Match tends to have better quality. I don't know if they are considered a top dating site in your country? It might be worth a shot if they are. 1
writergal Posted March 12, 2015 Posted March 12, 2015 writergal is "write". In the U.S., Match tends to have better quality. I don't know if they are considered a top dating site in your country? It might be worth a shot if they are. The Hindenburg disaster relationship that brought me here, was a divorced teacher I met on Match.com. The guy who skipped (aka "the skipper"), I met on OkStupid. The guy I cried Gwendolyn Fairfax tears for, whom I casually knew in person and crushed on for a few years before I got him to meet me for a first date, I met on Plenty of Fish by accident. The guy I met who wrote Java code, poetry and painted, I met on eHarmony. That didn't work out because when I didn't want to see a movie he wanted to see, he called me a b*tch wh*re, and he drank directly from his facet instead of using a glass.
Author Toodaloo Posted March 12, 2015 Author Posted March 12, 2015 Well as a Woman you WILL get barraged on pretty much any OLD site. Guys have to send tons of messages, girls have to read tons - sort of fair if you ask me? I was on mysinglefriend and I can count on one hand how many messages I got... Now getting loads. Two seem fairly normal and been nattering! One seems like a good match actually!
Moy Posted March 12, 2015 Posted March 12, 2015 I was on mysinglefriend and I can count on one hand how many messages I got... Now getting loads. Two seem fairly normal and been nattering! One seems like a good match actually! Have you had any 'Wire the monies' messages from 'Americans' yet?
Author Toodaloo Posted March 12, 2015 Author Posted March 12, 2015 I'm on there, too. Women looking at my profile and thinking 'Eurgh!' Women reading my messages and then looking at my profile and thinking 'Eurgh!' Agh Moy we know thats not actually true now don't we... Your self esteem needs to grow a bit more Just talking about crashing tractors now... I can cope with that!
Gary S Posted March 12, 2015 Posted March 12, 2015 I hear you writergal... there are a lot of undesirables on dating sites... my theory is, they have to end up somewhere, and OLD sites is that somewhere And I think the men are worse... I hear all the dating horror stories from my lady friends. On the one hand, I don't know how you ladies do it, and are able to go back for more punishment. On the other hand, I hope people won't be scared off, don't let the bad guys win. 2
guest569 Posted March 12, 2015 Posted March 12, 2015 I got hardly any messages, guess im one of the rare super ugly women on the site.
writergal Posted March 12, 2015 Posted March 12, 2015 I got hardly any messages, guess im one of the rare super ugly women on the site. I doubt that. I'm so ugly, I went to a haunted house and came out with an application. I'm so ugly, after I was born, the nurses put tinted windows on my incubator. Oh, and my doctor is a vet. 4
Author Toodaloo Posted March 12, 2015 Author Posted March 12, 2015 I got hardly any messages, guess im one of the rare super ugly women on the site. Smiley I had hardly any messages at all on mysinglefriend. I tried contacting men directly and nadda. Thankfully I have lovely friends who kept my confidence high or it would have destroyed me over the past few months. Exact same picture on OK cupid and messages are flying in some dross and copy paste ones which I am not going to bother with, some bloke from Turkey again would be silly to start conversation and two rather nice chaps who are both local and both seem to be sensible. One of them I actually really like. Bit daft, country lad... All within an hour or so... I think it really is luck of the draw and who happens to be logged onto what site, when and how happy or enthusiastic they feel that day... I don't think it has anything much to do with looks on either side. Unless the other person is just looking for a shag.
Author Toodaloo Posted March 12, 2015 Author Posted March 12, 2015 I doubt that. I'm so ugly, I went to a haunted house and came out with an application. I'm so ugly, after I was born, the nurses put tinted windows on my incubator. Oh, and my doctor is a vet. But I absolutely ADORE you! xxx Says the woman who gets crowed at... 3
writergal Posted March 12, 2015 Posted March 12, 2015 But I absolutely ADORE you! xxx Says the woman who gets crowed at... Hey, a caw-caw is better than being called a b*tch whore by a faucet drinking lunatic because I didn't want to see a 3-D movie. I adore you too! xxx
Fhsjkfjrhsdh3646 Posted March 12, 2015 Posted March 12, 2015 I've met one girl off OKCupid, she seemed pretty cool - stopped seeing her though since I'm pursuing someone else. I've met several women off Match, and all of them are quite attractive, and I'm just an average looking guy - although I do have my life in order pretty well. Currently going into a 4th date with one girl off Match at the moment. I highly recommend using Match, it seems to have the biggest pool of singles, and they're high quality as well. Plus since its paid, you don't have very many bots/timewasters.
SolG Posted March 12, 2015 Posted March 12, 2015 I'm new to OLD too. And likewise find it incredibly overwhelming! And my profiles all clearly say that I'm looking to meet new and interesting people for friendship and good conversation only. Yet it's a constant barrage of messages of all varieties. After only a couple of weeks I ditched the two paid sites I joined. I now only use Tinder which I thought would be the least useful for whar I'm after; as despite it's reputation, it's actually turned out to be the best for me. Absolute control over who can initiate contact is a really big plus. Then can just chat and see if you're on the same page. So far, just about everyone I've chatted to is absolutely ok with just wanting to be friends (without physical benefits!). Not 'swiping' at the moment as have enough matches for now. I've had coffee and dinner with one man (a photo journalist), and coffee with another (a restaurant owner). And setting up coffee with a woman who is new to my area (just moved here for post-grad study) and also looking to make friends. All really lovely, accomplished and interesting people! I would highly recommend looking past the reputation and using Tinder or the like if you're after a less overwhelming brand of OLD.
Fhsjkfjrhsdh3646 Posted March 12, 2015 Posted March 12, 2015 Tinder is pretty awful in my area for some reason.
Timshel Posted March 12, 2015 Posted March 12, 2015 Toodaloo- You are amazing! Your wit and charm come through the screen. I can't give any advice about OLD. If you are yourself, there is someone for you.
Gary S Posted March 12, 2015 Posted March 12, 2015 Man, all I can say is, I want to party with some of you ladies 4
sunshine2 Posted March 12, 2015 Posted March 12, 2015 Good for you that you are getting so many messages. I get messages from 20 year olds that say Im hot. Im in my 50's. Cracks me up. Im always sending them the Your Too Young Son message. What I notice on OKC is that most the guys that are on there, were there two years ago when I tried OLD for the first time. I wonder if these guys ever find anyone or if they just like to chat cause they are lonely. I just signed up for Match - that is one site that I feel has many spammers. I have to wade through that one way more the OKC in my area anyway. Its fun if you look at it as such. Good luck
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