fitnessfan365 Posted March 12, 2015 Posted March 12, 2015 Met this woman on OKC. Exchanged a few emails with her. At the end of the last one I said we should get together. Her response back seems enthusiastic. Lots of personal questions, flirts, and a few extended "hahahaha" with exclamation points implying laughter on her end. She even signed her name. However, she ignored the invite. Now usually I would just stop corresponding. But she did give a great response back other wise and her interest seems to be increasing. 1) I could respond back with a brief response and bring up getting together again. However, this would probably come off as pushy. 2) i could take the hint she isn't ready yet, exchange a few more emails, and try again 3) Or I could stop corresponding because she just wants to pen pal.
Fhsjkfjrhsdh3646 Posted March 12, 2015 Posted March 12, 2015 Reset. Go cold for at least 24 hours, and then exchange a few more messages and ask again. If that doesn't work = penpal. OKCupid seems to have lots of penpals in my experience...
Author fitnessfan365 Posted March 12, 2015 Author Posted March 12, 2015 Reset. Go cold for at least 24 hours, and then exchange a few more messages and ask again. If that doesn't work = penpal. OKCupid seems to have lots of penpals in my experience... That is actually what I was leaning towards doing, so great minds. Couldn't agree more about OKC though. Tons of pen pals on that site. One of my biggest peeves, is when you ask a direct question, or make a direct statement that warrants a response, and a woman just flat out ignores it. That's why I would usually stop responding. However, her response back was awesome otherwise. So that's why I was going to give it a bit of breathing room, exchange a few more, and try again.
Gary S Posted March 12, 2015 Posted March 12, 2015 Did you give her a complete plan with day, time, and place to meet? If not, it was not a real offer. And why not just ask for her number and then call her to make plans instead? 2
Author fitnessfan365 Posted March 12, 2015 Author Posted March 12, 2015 Did you give her a complete plan with day, time, and place to meet? If not, it was not a real offer. And why not just ask for her number and then call her to make plans instead? Through a lot of trial and error, I've actually found that qualifying interest before getting a number saves a lot of time. You throw out a leading statement "You should join me for" (fill in the blank with coffee, drinks, or whatever else). Then when she says she'd be interested, you exchange numbers, call her, and make actual plans. 1
Fhsjkfjrhsdh3646 Posted March 12, 2015 Posted March 12, 2015 Did you give her a complete plan with day, time, and place to meet? If not, it was not a real offer. And why not just ask for her number and then call her to make plans instead? When you ask someone out on OLD you don't make definite plans off the bat, you just say "Want to grab a drink together sometime?" and if they say YES, you get their number and make plans for a time/date/place. As far as OLD goes, saying "Want to grab a drink together sometime? How does Fri at 8:30PM at Jimmys Bar sound?" comes off too eager IMO, especially since you don't know when they're free yet either. 1
Gary S Posted March 12, 2015 Posted March 12, 2015 Through a lot of trial and error, I've actually found that qualifying interest before getting a number saves a lot of time. You throw out a leading statement "You should join me for" (fill in the blank with coffee, drinks, or whatever else). Then when she says she'd be interested, you exchange numbers, call her, and make actual plans. - Okay, fair enough. I would play hard to get... wait 3-5 days and send her a flirty message.... if she responds but says nothing about meeting, I would move on. The key is, the woman must feel comfortable first before she will go to the phone. Let me ask you a couple more questions.... why not just ask for the phone number? Would that not accomplish the same thing? And how many messages do you usually exchange with a lady online, and for how many days on average? I know you have some serious game.
Author fitnessfan365 Posted March 12, 2015 Author Posted March 12, 2015 -Let me ask you a couple more questions.... why not just ask for the phone number? Would that not accomplish the same thing? And how many messages do you usually exchange with a lady online, and for how many days on average? I know you have some serious game. 1) What do 90% of guys do? They just ask for the number. Let's say that a woman gives her number out to ten guys in a week online. Realistically she'll meet with one, or maybe two at the most. Then she blows off the rest. So just getting the number makes you part of the general population. When you set general plans first, all of a sudden she's in the mindset of meeting you. Your confidence to cut to the chase makes you stand out, and she has an appointment to look forward to. In the end you want the call to be a formality to finalize and not a sales pitch chasing her down. Plus, it's a great idea to exchange numbers. That way she knows who's calling her. 2) I'll contact a woman and let her get back to me. The day that she does, I respond the first chance that I get. Why? A woman's response time is usually based on yours. I have no interest is spending days or the better part of a week on a complete stranger. This usually leads to exchanging 2-3 emails over the course of one day. If I want to meet her, I'll throw out general plans to qualify her. Now there are times I will make an exception and extend the email process out. If she's really great to talk to and wants a few extra emails, I'm fine with it. I'll back off a little, give it an extra day, and then start talking to her again. But in most cases, if I propose getting together and a woman stalls, or says she wants to chat longer, I stop talking to her.
Fhsjkfjrhsdh3646 Posted March 12, 2015 Posted March 12, 2015 - Okay, fair enough. I would play hard to get... wait 3-5 days and send her a flirty message.... if she responds but says nothing about meeting, I would move on. The key is, the woman must feel comfortable first before she will go to the phone. Let me ask you a couple more questions.... why not just ask for the phone number? Would that not accomplish the same thing? And how many messages do you usually exchange with a lady online, and for how many days on average? I know you have some serious game. You never ask for the phone number until you establish that you want to meet them. Otherwise some Women (just like us Men) think you might turn into a texting buddy who won't STFU. Ask to meet > Get number > make plans easy. you can skip the middle step if they don't want to give their number, and you can set the meet up first. I sometimes will get their number on the first date. 1
soyou Posted March 12, 2015 Posted March 12, 2015 Damn, I didnt know that you guys have such smart and deatiled strategies about OLD. Reading your posts, it actually makes sense to me. I've been on many dates (Tinder) and the general tatics which guys use on me are exactly like what you guys said. Interesting! P/S: please dont go cold Turkey on any girl for 4-5 days as one of the posters suggested. Bad move. After 1-2 days max of NC, I could ditch the guy immediately. No chance to rewind my interest not saying asking me out. 2
Vintage79 Posted March 12, 2015 Posted March 12, 2015 I'd probably take a slightly different route and respond - in the beginning of the message I'd mention getting together and I wouldn't ask any other questions in the message. If she ignores the invite again, I'd just drop her. While it's weird to skip over the invite, it happens...prior to meeting, I usually give people the benefit of the doubt/second chance - after you meet it's a different story. Playing hard to get when you've only exchanged a few emails isn't going work - there's no emotional connection to you...she's not going to be longing for your communication when she's getting dozens of other messages every day.
Fhsjkfjrhsdh3646 Posted March 12, 2015 Posted March 12, 2015 I'd probably take a slightly different route and respond - in the beginning of the message I'd mention getting together and I wouldn't ask any other questions in the message. If she ignores the invite again, I'd just drop her. While it's weird to skip over the invite, it happens...prior to meeting, I usually give people the benefit of the doubt/second chance - after you meet it's a different story. Playing hard to get when you've only exchanged a few emails isn't going work - there's no emotional connection to you...she's not going to be longing for your communication when she's getting dozens of other messages every day. No - theres no reason for her to miss the invite.
d0nnivain Posted March 12, 2015 Posted March 12, 2015 I'd go with #2. Do you know how long she's been on OLD? the newer she is the more apprehensive she may be about meeting I wouldn't let this go on for more than a week without 1-2 exchanges & 1 additional invite. If you don't get a yes, move on. When I was on OLD I was a bit cautious. In response to an early invite, I would blatantly throw back -- can we exchange a couple of more e-mails & work up to a phone call 1st, please?
Fhsjkfjrhsdh3646 Posted March 12, 2015 Posted March 12, 2015 I'd go with #2. Do you know how long she's been on OLD? the newer she is the more apprehensive she may be about meeting I wouldn't let this go on for more than a week without 1-2 exchanges & 1 additional invite. If you don't get a yes, move on. When I was on OLD I was a bit cautious. In response to an early invite, I would blatantly throw back -- can we exchange a couple of more e-mails & work up to a phone call 1st, please? You're missing out on a lot of guys when you throwback on the meet invite. OLD is just an Intro to the other person. You read their profile, determine your first impression as either positive/negative, and then exchange a few messages before a meet. When you respond to a guy, you're basically saying "I would go on a date with you", so when you tell a guy NO, they're going to be annoyed that you wasted their time. This is of course considering he didn't come off as weird in his messages. 1
Author fitnessfan365 Posted March 12, 2015 Author Posted March 12, 2015 When I was on OLD I was a bit cautious. In response to an early invite, I would blatantly throw back -- can we exchange a couple of more e-mails & work up to a phone call 1st, please? Oh there is still a phone call. I just make a general suggestion to meet. When she agrees and we exchange numbers, I call her to chat a bit and make plans.
Versacehottie Posted March 13, 2015 Posted March 13, 2015 i agree that there may be a standard that a lot of the guys are operating under for online dating---BUT how can you be sure she knows these rules. Maybe she is waiting for a firmer offer. Like how about friday we go for a drink? Something more specific. I can see how it would get confusing to her if you were not suggesting a real plan but just a vague suggestion of let's get together. You have nothing to lose by being more specific. Actually you will get to the answer you want much quicker!
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