Arieswoman Posted March 12, 2015 Posted March 12, 2015 Raichu, I agree with others, there isn't any future with this relationship, I'm afraid. He's prone to rash decisions. He bought a car out of the blue a few months ago but now he can't afford to run it and years ago (before we were together) he wanted a puppy and got one but took it back after 2 nights because he couldn't control it ^^^ this bothers me. If he can't afford to run a car, how can he afford to pay for and keep a dog? Pedigree cockers cost about £500/£750. They need regular grooming at a pet parlour and plenty of exercise. Then there are innoculations/shots yearly. I also find it incredulous that after knowing you for 2 years, he bought the dog without discussing it with you, and knowing your fear of dogs. He's not good relationship material IMO - sorry. 1
Blade96 Posted March 12, 2015 Posted March 12, 2015 (edited) I say this as a former collie owner. He needs to train his puppy. Untrained animals (and untaught humans as well) can be at best an annoyance, at worst a menace or even dangerous. He needs to know this and you should tell him that. I really don't think you actually dislike dogs. (you said you are an animal lover.) I think you just don't like untrained ones and humans like the BF who won't do anything about it and thinks it's "cute" It's the same with parents and kids. People don't like untaught kids, either and they don't like parents who think their untaught kids are "cute" Edited March 12, 2015 by Blade96
Gaeta Posted March 12, 2015 Posted March 12, 2015 That tells me he is impulsive and deaf to other people's feelings. I can see this expend to other aspects of your life when you live together example he may be making a unreasonable non necessary purchase without consulting you, having people crash on your couch with no warning or even quit his job without thinking where he'll get next rent. I'd be surprised he is just being impulsive when it comes to dogs? I've missed this: He's prone to rash decisions. He bought a car out of the blue a few months ago but now he can't afford to run it and years ago (before we were together) he wanted a puppy and got one but took it back after 2 nights because he couldn't control it That answers my question. No need to say more. As soon as the dog's newness will pass this dog will have to be re-homed. Very sad to me as I love this breed and know how emotional they are. That solves the dog issue, as for the rest, you will still be dating an immature and irresponsible man. 1
idoltree Posted March 12, 2015 Posted March 12, 2015 I suppose it is frustrating when listed like that and obviously it's not the puppy's fault but it's hard not to feel resentful because otherwise our relationship was fine. Given all the evidence emerging that your boyfriend is impulsive and - let's face it - inconsiderate, your relationship wasn't fine. This was going to happen somehow, because those are not the makings of a good partner. That's a little kid, not a man. 2
Author Raichu Posted April 10, 2015 Author Posted April 10, 2015 Hi all, sorry to bring up a dead post but I've got a related update. So I'd spoken to my BF in a serious manner about me and the puppy and he's finally started to realise that I don't dislike his puppy just dogs in general and my anxiety around them yay! What normally happens now when I visit (which has only been a couple of times) is that the puppy runs over says hi, jumps etc (which I'm dealing with) but then my BF will let her out into the garden for a bit or, if we go upstairs he'll leave her downstairs. It was all going so well!! You see the other day, the dog was out in the garden and me and my BF were watching some TV together with coffee. Well, the back door must have blown open or something because she comes bounding in at top speed and bolts straight at me, jumping onto me. Before I had any time to react the coffee was all over me...and the dog. Obviously it was an accident and the worst of it was that my blouse would never see another day but the dog went and scalded her nose. It's not a burn luckily but her nose went a bit pink and she went crazy and barked and jumped away from me. The issue is, his mother is mad at me and so is he (he won't admit it but I can tell he's mad) and it's not even my fault - the whole thing was a total accident! I honestly can't win - if it wasn't my own life I'd be laughing
MovingOnIsHard Posted April 11, 2015 Posted April 11, 2015 I can completely relate to this, except my ex had a 2yr old dog, who had behavioural issues. The first month was horrible. The dog would be upset everytime i was near my ex, would growl and jump at me all the time. I didnt like it and it created a rift between us. For the first 3 months, i made a huge issue with his dog and like other posters have mentioned, your partner will not hesitate to dump u over their pet. (i completely understand now that i have my own dog) Funny thing is, i grew on the dog and vice versa... she would be so happy every time i came over (still somewhat attached to my ex's hip but i think it's just the german shepherd in her). She'd listen to my commands, etc.. I ended up leaving my ex, not because of his dog, but because of his own behavioural issues haha. honestly, If i had to choose over my ex and his dog, i'd pick the dog. So give the puppy dog a chance.
anna121 Posted April 11, 2015 Posted April 11, 2015 They are mad because their untrained dervish jumped up on you and got hurt through no fault of your own? They are nuts. On the plus side, maybe this could count as aversion therapy for the pooch.
todreaminblue Posted April 11, 2015 Posted April 11, 2015 I have a houseful fo dogs....its pretty easy to tell when people arent comfortable around dogs.....one way of telling is the dog makes more of a concerted effort to be around them....dogs investigate feelings of hesitancy in a person......they will hang off them more.be more aware of that person....than people who acknowledge the dog first and carry on normally...... dogs sense things people do not.....i have four dogs and one adoptee great dane mix from next door who wont go home..... all the dogs since i have been sick...whimper when they sniff my arm.....i have an infection...its undercover not visible and fully dressed...the dogs however know.....and are upset...... same with peoples emotions......dogs know....you need to change your attitude as well if you want to train the dog....the dog wont listen to anyone who is hesitant with the dog.....or dislikes them..... if the dog jumps on you ...put th edog in time out either otuside or seprate...let the dog back in tell the dog to sit and treat the dog when it does..... i suggest wearing non white clothing for a while or clothing that doesnt need dry cleaning when you get a little dirty......as writergal said...get involved with training....buy treats and keep them in your handbag.....let the dog see the treats and smell the treats ...the put them back in your handbag.....tell the puppy to sit with hand signals....raise your hand up to get him to sit.....treat the dog from your handbag...if he misbehaves and jumps up a firm no sit.......if he doesnt listen ....place him in time out....... ask your bf if he minds if you help him train the dog......be proactive......if you really feel you hate the animal or dislike it immensely...you probably arent compatible a match with your bf...dogs are loyal creatures and basically aim to please their owners...thats all they care about....so be a caring part owner while you are around and find some joy in the puppy.....spaniels are beautiful dogs......very goofy...i owned a springer spaniel.....they can be stubborn........the rewards are great......give it a chance.there are many good books you could look up and many training schools all over the world.......and i wish you well........deb
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