redsunset Posted March 12, 2015 Posted March 12, 2015 (edited) So my bf and I had been together for a year and a half, spending literally every second together (not joking). I now realize that was extremely unhealthy for the relationship and just us as people, and regret doing that. He would ask me time and time again for space and I would just have a problem every time and we would wind up fighting. Granted, I was very emotional because of medication I was taking, which made me crazy and hormonal. I should have gotten off of it when I noticed myself changing, but I didn't. Ultimately, the fighting and having no space resulted in him breaking up with me on valentines Day. Post-breakup, things were bad. Every time i would see him I would wind up asking if he wanted to try again. He didn't. Then I went over to his place to get my things, and wound up spending the night. Long story short, in the morning he basically told me that he wants to be single so that he can hook up with other girls because he is "a guy in college." He proceeded to tell me that he went to a party hoping that something would "fall into his lap." After all of the torment and stress I had been going through, I snapped. Hearing that he broke up with me for that reason hurt me so much, and I slapped him. I know I shouldn't have, but I was so hurt. Now because of the slap, he has me blocked on everything possible, and I feel horrible. I have NEVER once been violent with him before, so I know he must just be emotional and angry right now. I don't even want him back anymore, at least not in the way he is now. I just want to be unblocked so that maybe I can get the satisfaction of having him see me not looking desperate, pining after him. Any advice would be great Edited March 12, 2015 by redsunset grammatical error
unforgotten Posted March 12, 2015 Posted March 12, 2015 (edited) He deserved that slap and him having you blocked on everything is a blessing. He did you a favor. Now stick to NC, heal and improve. This guy is obviously not worth a single second of your thoughts. Edited March 12, 2015 by unforgotten 1
Satu Posted March 12, 2015 Posted March 12, 2015 If you want to get over this, you should go for total no contact and block him, just as he has blocked you. 2
sandylee1 Posted March 12, 2015 Posted March 12, 2015 What he sees is that if you get upset enough, ;you will be violent . It's best that he's blocked you. As much as you didn't want to break up, this is young love . You smothered him and that is NOT an attractive quality. I hope you remember this for your next relationship. I'm sorry to be brutally honest, but I'd advise my son to do exactly what he did. If he hit you back it could have gotten ugly. 2
sandylee1 Posted March 12, 2015 Posted March 12, 2015 Seek counselling to find out why you need to spend every second with a boyfriend and why you refused to listen when he said he wanted space. I don't want to sound hurtful, but it's this sort of behaviour one finds in the history of people with serious issues in later life. Don't be that person. 1
sabd Posted March 12, 2015 Posted March 12, 2015 I would have blocked you too. But its not a bad thing that he's done this. Now you do the same to him and use the NC wisely to deal with your issues. Don't concern yourself with what he's thinking and doing, that's counter productive. 1
SincereOnlineGuy Posted March 12, 2015 Posted March 12, 2015 He deserved that slap and him having you blocked on everything is a blessing. He did you a favor. Now stick to NC, heal and improve. This guy is obviously not worth a single second of your thoughts. LOL - No, he very far from deserved that slap. How in the world are we going to successfully coach/implore women to leave their abusers if men won't drop abusive women like hot rocks??? Now maybe the OP shouldn't have been responsible for somehow discerning at what point she should have ceased some random medication while, potentially, the medication affected her ability to do just that but she is definitely responsible for having slapped her ex boyfriend and for the direct consequences of her actions. Hopefully the OP will file this one as a learning experience and then move on... 1
Author redsunset Posted March 12, 2015 Author Posted March 12, 2015 Just to clarify, I was never once violent with him before. HE is the one who has consistent anger management problems, and has lashed out violently at me before. So I would not say that he is the victim here (not that that's the correct word)
Cali408 Posted March 12, 2015 Posted March 12, 2015 He has lashed out violently at you. You have lashed out violently at him, but only this one time. That's like saying, "I only shot a gun once and killed one person." It's still abuse both ways This is the best thing to ever happen to you. Thank your lucky stars and block him back. Don't ever speak to him again. Have enough self esteem to be alone. He's a dink. 1
Satu Posted March 12, 2015 Posted March 12, 2015 Just to clarify, I was never once violent with him before. *HE is the one who has consistent anger management problems, and has lashed out violently at me before. So I would not say that he is the victim here (not that that's the correct word) *Then you were two toxic people in a toxic relationship. Both victims of each other and yourselves. Time to do some ruthless self-examination and find some better ways of dealing with conflict. Examine your thoughts, your speech, and your actions. When you make some positive changes, you'll have a better life than you've had so far.
David87 Posted March 12, 2015 Posted March 12, 2015 Just to clarify, I was never once violent with him before. HE is the one who has consistent anger management problems, and has lashed out violently at me before. So I would not say that he is the victim here (not that that's the correct word) Too much drama, go NC. 1
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