Toodaloo Posted March 12, 2015 Posted March 12, 2015 Well I figured you could all do with a giggle... So. This time it was the turn for the city slicker to come down to me. What to do... He was knackered after a couple of hours walking round London so I figure he would never cope with the hills and tracks that I normally go along so I took him to the zoo. He missed the train so was an hour late arriving. No problem. I had an extra hour to try and get my car clean... None of them could believe it at the feed merchants, they didn't know it was green and had seats and a boot! I don't think he was listening as my local train station has a short platform and you have to be in the first 5 carriages to get off. I had bit of a quiet giggle to myself when the train pulled in and I saw him charging to the front to be able to get off! Any way all good so far. He actually smiled when he saw me this time. Always a bonus when your date looks pleased to see you! Jumped into my very shiney, clean car (Hyden would be most impressed only a few dogs hairs in sight) and start driving to the zoo. Nearly hit a couple of cyclists as misjudged how fast a truck was coming in the opposite direction...! Get to the zoo and thats fine. They are remodeling the zoo and making the pens etc bigger and better for the animals so half of it is under construction... Now I know I am useless with directions but he was obsessed with the flippin' maps. Its basically a big circle with a couple of cut throughs. Not easy to get lost at all even if you try... But he kept looking at the darned maps... So nattering away and I get fed up of the sound of my own voice. So I shut up. I have nothing to say. He has joined in a couple of times and made comment but really not often. Its boring. My dogs answer back more. My chickens are more vocal. So I figure never mind, I am at the zoo, I am just going to enjoy it. He starts making crow noises. I try to join in but its not erm... well its just weird and that is coming from a woman who has friends that do yoga randomly in super markets... and doesn't normally turn a hair. He looks in the cafe that we pass. Doesn't want to eat anything they have so we continue after 10 minutes of looking at the menu. Still struggling to find conversation. Carry on and find a hot dog stall. His knowledge of hot dogs is impressive. To me its just a sausage in a roll. He slaps on every topping available and we sit to eat. He gets mustard on his nose. Now this was cute, I pulled a tissue out of my pocket and he declined wiped the mustard off of his nose with his roll and continued to eat. I no longer felt hungry. It was no longer cute. We carry on it gets worse. He wonders off, I wonder off. I think at some point we remember that we are supposed to be spending time getting to know each other. Exit is via gift shop. I get my niece a toy ready for when she is born and we go back to the car. He has disappeared several times by this point so I figure what the heck, he is a grown man he can make his way back to the car on his own. We are driving back to the station. He asks about some white lines by the side of the road and what they mean. I am then busy trying to understand which ones (no not those ones, like those but not those they had a picture...) that I calmly and quietly drive straight through a red light and carry on. "Did you know that the light was red?" "No" then I started laughing. What a way to make an impression. I couldn't stop laughing. As far as disasters and making a complete plonker of yourself go it was quite near the top. *I would like to point out I am normally a reasonably safe driver who offers plenty of room to all cyclists, horse riders, walkers etc, drives at a safe steady speed and so on... I just don't panic about a few scratches and dents...* Get back to the station. Catch the pubs chicken and take her back. All that was needed were a couple of tumble weeds to go through the car park and some John Wayne "just about to have a shoot out" style music to complete the day. I waited with him for the train. I think he was going to hug me but then had better ideas, decided not to, got on the train and went home. Not heard from him since... Am not going to contact him. I think the contrast between his city slicker lifestyle and my country bumpkin ways were just too great. I also discovered that he isn't quiet and shy, he is just damned boring and dull. I am not going to worry! Happy days - good luck with your dates this weekend folks! I am bowing out gracefully and going off to spend some time with friends instead. Gaeta - Save me!!! 4
Leigh 87 Posted March 12, 2015 Posted March 12, 2015 wow that sounds awful. It is the total opposite of the couple who have good chemistry and hold hands on the second date and sneak kisses, and wipe mustard off each others faces:lmao: Sounds like next time you should only go on second dates with guys who you actually have at least SOME chemistry with. I understand that you wanted to give the guy a chance, but I can always tell from date one whether or not I can get along well with a prospective date. I mean - even the dates that didn't get past the first date, we still were able to talk vividly for hours and we still enjoyed ourselves with no awkward silences. I really don't think there is much of a point in going on second dates with men who you have absolutely NO chemistry or attraction towards again. Lesson learned right? Again - I have never gone on awkward dates and we always got along reasonably well with no funny silences or wondering off. I can't believe you were so disinterested in one another that you both wondered off! Like wow. And I have a feeling internet dating results in plenty of blah dates, too! That is what is so good about real life dating! You at least know right away once you meet someone and hit it off, that you are able to hang out with them and get along well enough - Versus online, where you meet, aren't that into one another so decide to "give it another shot" due to first date nerves.
Author Toodaloo Posted March 12, 2015 Author Posted March 12, 2015 Well meeting someone that you have not met through friends and have absolutely no prior connection to is awkward at first so I figured give the guy a chance. After all we don't know each other. Turns out we never will! ho hum. I will continue to give guys a second chance in future as I am more of a slow burn kinda girl Leigh Poor bloke. At least he will actually have something to talk about now...! So there is a positive...
Gaeta Posted March 12, 2015 Posted March 12, 2015 Let me wipe my tears of laughter lol ! I am so sorry it did not turned out to be the amazing date we were all wishing for you. Aaww! what a boring man!! He does not fit at all with your intelligent colorful bubbly & witty personality. Don't blink an eye and get back on your saddle! Unfortunately sometimes it takes 1-2-3 dates to figure out we do not mesh well with someone. 2
Author Toodaloo Posted March 12, 2015 Author Posted March 12, 2015 I can just imagine him telling his friends and family that his date picked up a chicken at the train station and took it back to the pub... While completely "normal" to me I am guessing that his city friends will find it rather "unusual"! Tickled me pink thinking about that. Nice chap but nothing more than "nice". So dull. So very dull... I think he made the crow noises because he couldn't think of anything to say... it went on a while. It became awkward. Silence would have been less uncomfortable. I think he probably had an imaginary friend at school... probably college too... and uni. Bless him. Shame he wasn't just shy. I could cope with shy but boring??? I would rather have been dumped in the car park to be honest!!! bet you didn't think you would be called lucky for that one! 1
Author Toodaloo Posted March 12, 2015 Author Posted March 12, 2015 I loved reading that!!! Thank you! Your welcome. Now if anyone has an idea of how I can politely turn the Vicar down with out hurting his feelings that would be great. At the moment I am just avoiding the subject all together and I know if we met it would be equally disastrous. Another "nice" man who I am sure is lovely, but I am also sure is not for me. Got asked out by another married man yesterday and ended up giving him some book recommendations on how to save his marriage... I don't think he was expecting that... You really couldn't make this up if you tried could you.
Fhsjkfjrhsdh3646 Posted March 12, 2015 Posted March 12, 2015 Wow that's an awful date. Just tell him that you're not interested in him, and leave it at that. No need to sugarcoat things. I love reading stories from you Brits... lol
Author Toodaloo Posted March 12, 2015 Author Posted March 12, 2015 Wow that's an awful date. Just tell him that you're not interested in him, and leave it at that. No need to sugarcoat things. I love reading stories from you Brits... lol No need I am pretty sure I have scared him off for life with the chicken in the train station... If you think these stories are bad you should hear the ones about what happens when we go over there! Every single time there is a mad story... 1
SomeDude16 Posted March 12, 2015 Posted March 12, 2015 The Hot dog part was really funny. You should write a rom-com about it, I'd pay to watch
Gary S Posted March 12, 2015 Posted March 12, 2015 Well, although it certainly was not a match, as he was a dud, you had some funny dating bloopers. I liked reading about your nervous driving, very funny! It' reminds me of a couple of dates I had where women were nervous and driving... one drove over a curb, but I did not bat an eye with that one, because I respected the woman. Another Russian woman drove because we were in her city, so it was the smart thing to do... but she was cutting off cars and driving erratically.... all the while, my eyes were getting as big as saucers! I absolutely adored that you tried to wipe the mustard from his nose with a napkin.... that reminds me of a date I had once, I was eating Tostados Nachos and dipping them in sour cream.... after every bite, this lady would wipe my mouth with her napkin... to this day, that is one of the best women I have ever known.... unfortunately she was on the rebound. Just because this guy did not appreciate it, I hope you won't stop doing that, I find it very endearing and romantic. It's the little things that count! 2
Author Toodaloo Posted March 12, 2015 Author Posted March 12, 2015 I absolutely adored that you tried to wipe the mustard from his nose with a napkin.... that reminds me of a date I had once, I was eating Tostados Nachos and dipping them in sour cream.... after every bite, this lady would wipe my mouth with her napkin... to this day, that is one of the best women I have ever known.... unfortunately she was on the rebound. Just because this guy did not appreciate it, I hope you won't stop doing that, I find it very endearing and romantic. It's the little things that count! Well I would have if he hadn't insisted on eating it. You remember that feeling as you watched a kid eating its own boogies? I kinda had that. I didn't know what to do with the rest of my hot dog... I know I am not the best driver but it was particularly bad. I couldn't help but laugh at myself more so as all the people I went past/ in front of at the red light were so polite about it! I was completely in the wrong and yet they were apologising to me!!! Made it all very surreal. Oh well. Oh and Jab just in case you one day meet a lovely lady with long dark hair, in the area between McKinney and Fort Worth who tells you the British are mad and randomly wave you down on the highway, jump in your car, randomly calling you some one elses name before looking at you in horror when you ask if you can help them, then jumping out of the car, re-locking the door behind her and running away. Please tell her that I pass on my most sincere apologies and there really is a perfectly logical and understandable explanation...
Haydn Posted March 12, 2015 Posted March 12, 2015 I'm getting a snifter of Hampshire or West Sussex. Sorry Toodaloo the date was not quite up to scratch but hilarity seems to have prevailed in you're recounting of this. 1
preraph Posted March 12, 2015 Posted March 12, 2015 This is a perfect example of why you really can't know what someone is like until you're face to face. Nice it didn't get ugly. At least you both agreed it wasn't going to happen. You'll enjoy this story for years to come. 2
insert_name Posted March 12, 2015 Posted March 12, 2015 No consolation for you OP, but my previous OLD dates have actually gone up 10% in my estimation because neither I nor my date had to resort to impersonating a crow to try and resuscitate the conversation. I always find that anything is worth doing as long as you get an amusing story out of it, so at least there is that way of looking at it. Better luck next time. 1
Author Toodaloo Posted March 12, 2015 Author Posted March 12, 2015 No consolation for you OP, but my previous OLD dates have actually gone up 10% in my estimation because neither I nor my date had to resort to impersonating a crow to try and resuscitate the conversation. I always find that anything is worth doing as long as you get an amusing story out of it, so at least there is that way of looking at it. Better luck next time. No it is bit of a new one isn't it... All a bit embarrassing really as what does it say about me? There is only so long I can talk for though. It gets boring after a while listening to yourself... 1
insert_name Posted March 12, 2015 Posted March 12, 2015 No it is bit of a new one isn't it... All a bit embarrassing really as what does it say about me? There is only so long I can talk for though. It gets boring after a while listening to yourself... Your posting style on here suggests you have more than enough character to pull off an entertaining date, with some people though I guess its always going to be like a case of 'pearls before swine' I imagine the guy looking like Homer in that simpsons episode where he becomes the crow whisperer and they flock from miles around to perch on him, he has to ask them for some privacy when he is in the shower and they still wont budge Was he attracting attention with all that nonsense? I would have died!
Author Toodaloo Posted March 12, 2015 Author Posted March 12, 2015 Was he attracting attention with all that nonsense? I would have died! Some small children did hide behind their parents... He didn't do much arm flapping so it wasn't too bad!
elaine567 Posted March 12, 2015 Posted March 12, 2015 Carry on and find a hot dog stall. His knowledge of hot dogs is impressive. To me its just a sausage in a roll. He slaps on every topping available and we sit to eat. He gets mustard on his nose. Now this was cute, I pulled a tissue out of my pocket and he declined wiped the mustard off of his nose with his roll and continued to eat. I no longer felt hungry. It was no longer cute. That would have completely turned me off too... ugh! "You remember that feeling as you watched a kid eating its own boogies? I kinda had that. " Yes, I totally get that. Sorry to hear, it was such a disaster. Caw! caw! caw! How To Understand Crow Language - seems that crows are actually more fascinating that your date appeared to be. 1
lgspot Posted March 12, 2015 Posted March 12, 2015 Gotta laugh. I'm at work, feet kicked up on my desk eating a chili dog for lunch. Read your story and immediately gotta run to the mirror. I don't think had any mustard or chili drips, but just had to check. Where's a girl with a napkin when you need her??? Guess I'm gonna have to send you one of our southwestern country boys to help with the chickens and critters. They'll be able help out with that boredom too. As far as jumping into vehicles, don't give that a second thought. That's Texas ma'am. Women hopping into vehicles is a common occurrence. Texas is real hospitable. Sorry about the date, but loved the story!!!
Author Toodaloo Posted March 13, 2015 Author Posted March 13, 2015 Sorry to hear, it was such a disaster. Caw! caw! caw! How To Understand Crow Language - seems that crows are actually more fascinating that your date appeared to be. Well there were quite a few caw caw's so perhaps he was trying to warn me that there were lions at the zoo??? He didn't look like homer... I think Homer talks more too... Poor chap.
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