So do women honestly not care at all about a guys sexual past?

[preraph]

I don't care how many partners they've had. I only care if they are cheating on them when they're supposed to be committed, and none of them are going to tell you that, so...no point even talking about it. Best way to find that out is ask other people in your crowd.

[NJ123]

I don't care how many partners they've had. I only care if they are cheating on them when they're supposed to be committed, and none of them are going to tell you that, so...no point even talking about it. Best way to find that out is ask other people in your crowd.

 

That's the thing though. I think everyone should want to know someones past due to possible cheating among other things. I also think compatibility comes into play. I doubt most of the time if lets say the one had 75 sex partners & the other is either a virgin or has 1 or 2, I don't see how that will work out at all most of the time.

[ASG]

That's the thing though. I think everyone should want to know someones past due to possible cheating among other things. I also think compatibility comes into play. I doubt most of the time if lets say the one had 75 sex partners & the other is either a virgin or has 1 or 2, I don't see how that will work out at all most of the time.

 

It can, but that's beside the point.

 

Those kinds of things are easy to pick up on in regular conversation.

 

Like... a good girl friend of mine, when we were at uni, it was obvious to all of us other friends in the group was still a virgin. Why? because every time the rest of us (we had a close knit group of 5 girls) talked about our sexual adventures, she would say nothing. She never told us she was a virgin, but it was easy to ascertain.

 

Just like, in the course of knowing me, it's easy to gather that I'm not a virgin and have been around the block a few times, having no issues with casual sex.

 

And really, that is all that you need to know. You don't need to know my exact number or how many of those were relationships or ONS/FWBs situations.

[autumnnight]

That's the thing though. I think everyone should want to know someones past due to possible cheating among other things. I also think compatibility comes into play. I doubt most of the time if lets say the one had 75 sex partners & the other is either a virgin or has 1 or 2, I don't see how that will work out at all most of the time.

 

Honestly, I think the bolded and underlined is the problem. Everyone should want to know. Everyone should not care about height. Everyone should not care about money. Everyone should admit this or that.

 

People are individuals. Everyone should is not going to ever win the dating game.

[d0nnivain]

That's the thing though. I think everyone should want to know someones past due to possible cheating among other things. I also think compatibility comes into play. I doubt most of the time if lets say the one had 75 sex partners & the other is either a virgin or has 1 or 2, I don't see how that will work out at all most of the time.

 

I wasn't very experienced (any way you want to define that) when I fell in love with a guy who had probably had more than 200 past partners & who had done some wild & crazy stuff. He was an amazing lover who expanded my horizons in many ways & who really taught me a lot about sex & love. We were together for 12 years.

 

The past # of partners is a function of how somebody views sex. It doesn't factor into cheating but then again to me you can't cheat until you promise to be faithful / exclusive & then break that promise.

 

Cheating is cheating. I would much rather be with somebody who sowed their wild oats then some guy who married his virginal HS sweetheart & cheated on her. At that point even if he only had 3 lowers, her, the OW & now me, I'd have a much lower opinion of him then my EX who played the field & more.

[Dropped71]

Since most women obviously dislike talking about their own, do they honestly not care how many women a guy has slept with in the past?

 

Of course women care and women can infer quite a bit without asking directly and make no mistake, women look down on guys without enough experience.

[Dropped71]

I don't mind talkimg about my sexual past at all, I just don't think the number (whether mine or my partner's) matters. A number doesn't tell you anything about how the person behaves in a relationship, their mindset, their morals, and so on. All it does is make you judge the other person in a way that isn't necessarily right or fair. Who's more "pure": the girl who had sex with ten guys in six months or the girl who had mind-blowing, completely depraved sex with one man three times a day gor a year?

 

I've said before I don't want to date a virgin. It's not my preference. But a man isn't required to disclose his "number" (even if it's zero) to me. It's none of my business. I'd be far more interested in knowing why he hadn't had sex than anything else. The actual number doesn't mean anything. In my time dating I've only ever had one person ask, and he was pretty immature.

 

The only thing you are obligated to tell is your current STD status. Everything else is a matter of comfort between you and your partner. But you should be able to at least talk about your sexual experiences in regards to what you like or don't like---and laugh at your past awkward times!

 

You don't want to judge, yet you judge. I'm so surprised, not. While you write it's none of your business, you don't want to date a virgin so it really is your business. I could nine women that have gotten turned off when they deduced I was inexperienced. They deduced right and I'm still a virgin.

[NJ123]

Of course women care and women can infer quite a bit without asking directly and make no mistake, women look down on guys without enough experience.

 

Oh, there's no doubt about that. At least a lot of women do. I wouldn't say all though.

[autumnnight]

When I was single and dating, I WANTED a guy who was a virgin.

[Dropped71]

Not bothered at all unless it has caused a marriage/ long term relationship break down or he has encrustations growing from his penis.

 

The past is the past and as long as he is healthy and looking for a future with me that is all I care about.

Are you sure that the past is the past? I'm a virgin, not by choice so it shouldn't matter.

A general view is all I need... Just to ensure that there are no old issues or problems.

 

I am not a virgin or a saint and I don't want to date one either. A normal person with a healthy sex drive and attitude towards it would be great thanks!

 

But of course you weren't being honest and of course you won't date a virgin. I've had nine women go cold on me after they each inferred I was inexperienced. How can a guy have any sex whatsoever if women hold being a virgin against him? And don't call virgins saints. That's patronizing and insulting.

[Dropped71]

Oh, there's no doubt about that. At least a lot of women do. I wouldn't say all though.

 

At my age it's very very close to all.

[NJ123]

At my age it's very very close to all.

 

True, I think once someone reaches their early-mid 30s as a male virgin still, and that's even pushing it, than they highly likely will have an extremely hard time finding someone or they better have a very good reason for still being a virgin.

[NJ123]

Are you sure that the past is the past? I'm a virgin, not by choice so it shouldn't matter.

 

 

But of course you weren't being honest and of course you won't date a virgin. I've had nine women go cold on me after they each inferred I was inexperienced. How can a guy have any sex whatsoever if women hold being a virgin against him? And don't call virgins saints. That's patronizing and insulting.

 

I do find it a bit odd how some are saying they wouldn't date a virgin, yet at same time say it's no one's business about someones past.

[Dropped71]

True, I think once someone reaches their early-mid 30s as a male virgin still, and that's even pushing it, than they highly likely will have an extremely hard time finding someone or they better have a very good reason for still being a virgin.

 

I was born in 1971. Game over for me.

[Dropped71]

I do find it a bit odd how some are saying they wouldn't date a virgin, yet at same time say it's no one's business about someones past.

 

It's odd that women can't be consistent from minute to minute. It all is the result women not wanting to be judged but wanting to judge.

[NJ123]

I was born in 1971. Game over for me.

 

Do you have a good reason for still being a virgin? What happened for you to still be one at your age? I'm sure there's some women that would still date you, but realistically not a whole lot unless as I said you have some good reasons for still being one at your age.

[Dropped71]

Do you have a good reason for still being a virgin? What happened for you to still be one at your age? I'm sure there's some women that would still date you, but realistically not a whole lot unless as I said you have some good reasons for still being one at your age.

 

I'm too much of what's referred to as a doormat. Believe me, I've tried to break out and stand up for myself, but when I do I've been called arrogant, aggressive, creepy, etc. My natural state is that of a doormat unfortunately.

[Starship]

The only thing that would bother me would be if he had either an affair or been an affair partner. IMO that would cast doubts on his integrity and would be a deal-breaker for me.

 

The numbers pale into insignificance beside that.

 

I'm not reading all the responses. The above one reflects my views.

 

Integrity is essential in a partner. It is a moral strength that means I can be 100% committed to a man. I have never settled for less. Trust is the foundation for emotional security.

[autumnnight]

There are so many factors. If a man has a very checkered past, I want to know what he has learned, what has changed, who he has become. If a man reaches my age with no experience, I want to know if it is my choice and commitment or not. Does he WANT intimacy with a woman?

 

A man who had made bad choices, learned from them, and had a new life and pattern of integrity would be fine. A man who was single and a virgin at 40 because he had a moral conviction about sex outside of marriage would be fine. A man who had learned nothing from his mistakes would be out. A man who had a victim or anti-woman complex would be out.

[toscaroscura]

It's odd that women can't be consistent from minute to minute. It all is the result women not wanting to be judged but wanting to judge.

 

Yeah, how dare "women" not be consistent! You'd think they were all separate people with their own preferences or some junk.

[Dropped71]

Yeah, how dare "women" not be consistent! You'd think they were all separate people with their own preferences or some junk.

 

Nine. Count them. Nine women dropped me like a hot potato when they each deduced I was inexperienced. I'm just a wee bit mad that none have ever given much of a real chance. This coming from a guy born in 1971. How can I buy anything you say when the next minute you'll say the opposite. Try putting yourself in my place. Of course you won't. You'll never understand.

[Dropped71]

There are so many factors. If a man has a very checkered past, I want to know what he has learned, what has changed, who he has become. If a man reaches my age with no experience, I want to know if it is my choice and commitment or not. Does he WANT intimacy with a woman?

 

A man who had made bad choices, learned from them, and had a new life and pattern of integrity would be fine. A man who was single and a virgin at 40 because he had a moral conviction about sex outside of marriage would be fine. A man who had learned nothing from his mistakes would be out. A man who had a victim or anti-woman complex would be out.

 

Always a but with the virgin thing. As long as he believed in moral absolutes of no sex before marriage, but otherwise he may as well be radioactive.

[No Limit]

I wouldn't mind talking about my own sexual past, and no, I don't accept everything. Now I know guys have to sleep around, want to experience stuff etc, but the way some guys go about it - and speak about it - is just disgusting. There was this guy in a different forum bragging how he's laying girls every weekend (and judging from his looks I believe him to be honest), how it didn't matter to him who he's sleeping with - also bragging how many girls with boyfriends sleep with him, yuck - and in the same post in which he bragged he wrote that he "someday wants to meet a woman to settle down with", yuck! No, I don't want a guy like this. No respect, just him, him, him.

 

A different guy, same forum; "I'll finish studying, make myself some money and get a wonderfully beautiful, intelligent wife." Can't use the same words he did in his post because it was a different language but he wrote it so clinical, like he's ordering something. He wants this and that and no less; this is the type of guy I'm afraid of meeting when studying medicine myself in 3 years, the type that wants a trophy wife.

 

Ugh, thinking about all the "dangers" out there is giving me goose bumps...

[kaylan]

I think more women care than they let on. It really depends on the girl. A more conservative or less promiscuous girl will care more in my experience.

 

And in my recent experience, Ive had the girl say she didnt care much, but then grill me about who Ive been hanging out with when Im not with her. (yes Im loyal..always) So I wonder if my sexual past makes her a little cautious. My past is more colorful than hers, but not out of the ordinary.

[William]

Looks like our hydra 'dropped' in to have a little fun here. Hope it wasn't too disruptive. Sorry for the interruption and we cleaned up the worst of it. Please continue!