risenshine Posted March 12, 2015 Posted March 12, 2015 My bff called today and said she found her husband of 20 years in the marriot inn ( the whole morning) when he told her he is at work. She found him second time there..couldve been more. She also said he has a storage unit. He 'travels' constantly and comes home late and never takes her out etc. He doesnt know that she knows this about him. He is not intimate with her for years now. 2 teen kids. she doesnt know what he does at the motel. What should she do?
NoC Posted March 12, 2015 Posted March 12, 2015 She should go no contact on her teen kids... wait. Just kidding. She should investigate just as BetrayedH has mentioned.
No Limit Posted March 12, 2015 Posted March 12, 2015 If she's financially able, get a private investigator. He'll probably haul a ton of evidence in a few days onto the table. Then it's up to her whether she wants to stay married to a deceptive serial-cheating prick or not. 2
Author risenshine Posted March 12, 2015 Author Posted March 12, 2015 Thanks y'all ! Investigate ! Yes. I told her that too. Any other thoughts welcome. Nope! No $ for a PI unfortunately !
Rainbowlove Posted March 12, 2015 Posted March 12, 2015 Call the police?? This guy sounds like Dexter. Why the storage unit?? 2
SolG Posted March 12, 2015 Posted March 12, 2015 Could be cheating... Could be more... Could be something else entirely. BTW, having a storage facility of some kind is classic closet cross dresser (most of whom are married heterosexual men) behaviour. Somewhere to keep the clothing and trappings. As is sneaking away for me time to be en femme. As is decreased sex with SO if cross dressing is strongly fetishised. But who knows... And the W won't know either unless she checks it out. 1
BetrayedH Posted March 12, 2015 Posted March 12, 2015 Thanks y'all ! Investigate ! Yes. I told her that too. Any other thoughts welcome. Nope! No $ for a PI unfortunately ! Does she need ideas on how to investigate? We have tons of those. Hiring a PI is typically the most expensive. There are definitely cheaper options and they may even work better. 1
atreides Posted March 12, 2015 Posted March 12, 2015 SO she is seeking proof then? If what you say is true and the H is completely disconnected from her, why stick around? Why need proof? To me his behavior is enough to warrant a divorce or separation, why make her waste anymore time on him?
devilish innocent Posted March 12, 2015 Posted March 12, 2015 She could have somebody stake the place out and see who follows him. Also, look at phone and internet records to see who he's communicating with. Otherwise, she could just confront him with what she's already found. This is really one of those cases where unless he can come show some very compelling evidence, she can only assume the worst.
Tayla Posted March 12, 2015 Posted March 12, 2015 Call the police?? This guy sounds like Dexter. Why the storage unit?? seriously made me howl , loved the dexter comment! as i scrolled seems that crossdressers use storage units! so now i need to get rid of mine! cant have that assumption made of my being. Seriously too many reasonable possibilities for the man at the Inn. i had conference meeting ( legitimate ones!) for my company. Never did it cross my mind that ppl actually would assume something other then the facts. Tell the wife to come clean snd ask the hubby. Such a simple and direct adult thing to do. Be a supportive friend it will be welcoming.
stillafool Posted March 12, 2015 Posted March 12, 2015 What she can do is ask her husband why he is there instead of work. It's incredible that people don't go to the person with the answer for information. 1
No Limit Posted March 12, 2015 Posted March 12, 2015 What she can do is ask her husband why he is there instead of work. It's incredible that people don't go to the person with the answer for information. Cheaters are usually adept liars. Most people I know wouldn't hesitate for long though when they find out their husband's staying at a hotel, they'd check the internet for available apartments and attorneys. 1
stillafool Posted March 13, 2015 Posted March 13, 2015 I would just wait outside the hotel until he came out. He and whoever he was with can explain it to me then. Or call him on his cell phone and ask him where he is while sitting in my car parked beside his. 1
oldshirt Posted March 13, 2015 Posted March 13, 2015 What she can do is ask her husband why he is there instead of work. It's incredible that people don't go to the person with the answer for information. never ask a question you don't already know the answer to.
Author risenshine Posted March 13, 2015 Author Posted March 13, 2015 Thanks everyone for posting replies. Well, she can ask him, but he's gonna lie till he cannot anymore! ..and just 'move the show' elsewhere? Tayla, she says last Nov she found him at another nearby motel and he was there 8 am to 3 pm that day and may have had the motel for a week or so..(is her guess) She confronted him and kicked him out of the house when he had no response. He was quiet but later he came back saying he had a 'guest speaker' staying there and he was just meeting him and giving him a ride to work. He produced an 'itinary' for the speaker too on his work letter head. The strange part she said was..she was calling him ( car breakdown) all morning that day and he was telling her he was at work in another state..not picking up a 'guest speaker' or anything. The whole 'mysterious' part is she just wants to know what's going on so she can document it for her (upcoming I am sure) divorce filing. In short, its all ugh!!!
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