Remember the Reasons for NC

[WhatWeHad]

I'm not sure if anyone has made a post like this but I haven't yet seen one so I decided to make my own. I'm making this thread as a way too remind myself why I'm going NC (or at least trying to go NC again). I'm listing all of the reasons why NC is the best option for me so that in those moments when I'm tempted I can come here and remember what I've been through. I invite anyone else who wants to do that same to post to this thread.

 

My Reasons:

 

1) Every time he had the chance to choose "us" he didn't.

 

2) He threw his relationships with other people in my face when he knew I still loved him and wanted to be with him.

 

3) He never really apologized for hurting me.

 

4) Me telling him I still loved him (post bu) didn't make any difference to him.

 

5) He broke the only two promises he ever made me (Promise 1: He would never leave me; Promise 2: He would never do anything to intentionally hurt me. He did both very unceremoniously).

 

6) He got someone else pregnant at the same time he was talking about how much he missed me.

 

7) After waiting for him to move back into town for 4 years he discontinued contact with me out of the blue.

[Gridlock]

1.) I don't want to undo the progress I've made towards a better ME and a better future for ME.

 

2.) I could think of a thousand questions to ask you and none of the answers you could give me would satisfy me, or make me feel better about anything.

 

3.) I've been down this road before, and it's easier this way.

 

4.) You're the one that gave up. I won't convince someone else why they should be with me ever again.

[rollercoaster11]

1. He knew how

much I loved him and he let me walk away.

2. That letting him go was the hardest decision but was for the best.

3. He has GIGS disease but dont know that eventually things could have turned around for us.

4. That I did my best while we were together and I admit it wasn't perfect but I didn't cheat on him and he had my heart.

 

5. With everything that I said above I have no regrets.

6. No contact works because each day that goes by things get more bearable.

[WhatWeHad]

I'm so happy to see people using this thread.

 

Gridlock, I love your #2 & #4. I'll have to add those to the list on my phone.

 

Rollercoaster your #5 is so important. Another thing I have to remember for myself.

 

Thank you both for sharing.

[milk]

1.) I looked past the physical things he did to me and the way he trashed my place before moving out, and still proposed to work on myself for the sake of our relationship. After this he was still left "unsure"

 

2.) I have done more than enough to make this relationship work

 

3.) I don't want to beg for love anymore, I should not have to beg for love

 

4.) He broke up with me and came back several times, and I let him back in each time. I couldn't keep him then, why would I be able to now?

 

5.) I won't give him opportunities to hurt me anymore

 

6.) He knew he had anger management issues and that he was wrong for putting his hands on me, but never chose to seek help or tried to change his behavior

 

7.) He never showed kindness or compassion when it was needed

 

8.) I won't let myself be pathetic anymore

 

9.) It was his choice to throw us away over and over again. This will be the last time

[Gridlock]

Thanks WhatweHad, all of the posts have good and unique personal reasons for why staying NC is important to us. Coming back to this thread (which I have bookmarked) has helped me twice today when I found myself digging into my past and thinking too much! (:

[iDoodleEveryday]

1. I have been 3 months NC, healed pretty well but still have lil thoughts and feelings. Refusing to slip and break NC and go back to square one.

 

2. See her very often so if she doesn't care, why should i?

 

3. She broke my heart just days before my birthday.

 

4. Thinking back, the relationship was quite toxic. Don't want to go back there.

 

5. She never once told me that she needed me to be there for her, even tho' i tried my best.

 

6. She never appreciated me for everything i have done.

 

7. She let go of us too easily.

 

8. She broke up 3 times with me only to come back after. 2 times i took her back but this time for real i'm done with this toxic BS.

 

Stay strong everyone!

[TashaTudor]

1. He took my heart and stomped on it repeatedly. No apologizies.

 

2. Every piece of ass walking by turned his head.

 

3. Used our money to wine and dine his paramour.

 

4. Lied, lied and lied again.

 

5. When I needed him the most is when he'd abandon.

 

6. Proudly paraded his mistress in front of me and everyone.

 

 

Btw, this is a great thread.

[WhatWeHad]

Hi TashaTudor. I'm glad you like it and I hope it helps.

 

Adding a few to my own list:

 

8) He broke up with me (or, as he'd put it "asked for space") over the phone and told me that "if I started that crying ****" he'd hang up on me.

 

9) He told me that not wanting to try a long distance relationship was the main reason we couldn't get back together and then proceeded to start dating someone who was only 3 hours away from him as apposed to me being 4 hours away. I guess saving that hour made a big difference to him.

 

10) After months of calling and flirting post bu he had the nerve to tell me that basically our relationship was nothing special and that he had had other relationships on our level. Only a month or two prior he had told me that....wait for it......"what we had" was so special to him and he had never felt that way about anyone.

[BlackbirdSong]

1) I will not allow myself to try to fight for someone I want, who does not want me back.

 

2) You walked away without looking back, even once.

 

3) I treated you like gold, but you'd rather go out with somebody else who has more money and is ready to make your "life plans" happen.

 

4) You gave your druggie/alcoholic dirtbag ex a second chance in the past, but I don't get the same second chance.